I miss my dad and I can't stop crying about it

by Velour 29 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard

    Velour, you are right to write to your dad. You must tell him what you told us. To bad if he doesnt read the letters

    (yes I did say letters. Keep writing). Its important for you, and for him if he did but know it.

    You never know what he might do. Maybe he'll read them in a month, or in a year.

    I miss my dad too. I would have liked him to see what I've made of my life. I would have liked him to be proud of me. But he's gone. Its too late for me. But not for you.


    I don't think the WTS realizes the extreme hurt that they cause by their doctrine of shunning.

    I dont think they even care.

  • Nickolas

    Your father is the person he is. From your brief post it appears that he has traded one form of abusive lifestyle for another, but this time he has one he can feel good about because it is encouraged by others. Truth is any man who beats a woman is not a man, no loving father shuns his child and anyone who needs religion to provide his moral compass is at the core of himself morally bankrupt. Stop crying. He's not worth it.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    He took a gamble.

    He chose to join a religion that treats its non-believing children badly..... AND ....

    He chose to join a religion that had a history of failed prophetic mumbo jumbo. Did he stop for one minute and ask himself what he would do if his daughter found out about the WT's failures and didn't want to be associated with those failures? You can probably think of other things he overlooked too.

    He chose to raise his daughter in it. You didn't ask him to to that. You were just an innocent child. He was supposed to protect you, not fill your head with nonsense. Did he ever discourage you from questioning the bOrg? Mine did. I lay it on thick that he should have encouraged questions when I was a kid instead of threatening me with "disappointing your Heavenly Father" to stop any questions. We could have tidied up this business when I was a kid instead of leaving it until I was an adult with my own kids.

    He gambled and he lost. Jehovah has consistently proved that the WT doesn't know what it's talking about by not showing up to stop them looking like a bunch of fools. Now he has to man up and deal with the consequences just like Harold Camping has to.

    Don't let him use guilt on you. Use it on him.

    I have made sure my parents know exactly how I feel about their church, and the behaviour of its members, using examples from our lives and friends & family and WT literature. Nothing else. They also know that I know when they lie to me because I pick them up on it every time.

    It's a disfunctional relationship at best, but it is a relationship.



  • sizemik
    The JW made him a great JW but they stole my father.

    You're right to put the blame where it belongs Velour . . .

    We make the mistake of believing . . . . and if we're fortunate . . . we wake up to the fact we've been decieved.

    I raised my kid's in the cult . . . and made all the same mistakes . . . busy writing talks / parts for meetings . . . taking book studies . . . I too, spent a lot of time at a local prison. While I felt I was doing the right thing . . . my kid's suffered. Fortunately, our family all left together 7 years ago and I've had to work hard to try and make up for what we lost. But that lost time will never come back.

    I guess until he also wakes up to the deception . . . your real Dad will not be available to you anyway. But hey . . . that can still happen. Hold on to that hope and keep appealing to the real Dad that lies in there somewhere.

    As a Dad . . . my heart bleeds for you both.

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    He evidently has an addictive personality. My brother went from JW to Maoist in about one year and never saw the connection. All that frenetic JW activity, not necessary even by JW standards, means he must be facing some heavy demons to need such relief. Busyness stops us from being with ourselves and others. He needs freedom to be.

    My brother went off to college on a generous scholarship. He never telephoned home. Once he joined the Maoists, he was underground. We had no idea where he was for decades. My mom was glued to the TV set on May Day, hoping to see him.. Strangely, I bumped into once on the NYC Subway-millions of people use it. I had to run after him and prayed no train would come on which he could escape. Maoists said he was wrong to shun us. We still don't know why. He came around when my mom was near death.

    He is deeply troubled. I may feel worthless but my mom, sis, and family dog are superb. Time creates opportunities. Writing him a neutral letter allows you the good feeling of being gracious.

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    Velour you express yourself very well here, so write the frickin letter already will you. Pour your heart out and SEND IT. You may just reach his heart and cut through the JW mind control.

    Write and send girl. If you dont do this now and he was to die suddenly and you had never tried then how would you feel then?

    Just sayin'

  • Hortensia

    I am so sorry. I went to a psychologist for a while, years ago, when I left the org. He told me that kids like we were grieve for what might have been, the life we lost or never had with our parents. Go ahead and grieve. It doesn't hurt to write him some letters, too, he may relax his hardcore stance with time.

    He might feel the JW lifestyle is a safety net, keeping him from going back to drugs and his former life. That's not bad. It's just unfair that he should shun his own child. Make the contact. Tell him your feelings. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

  • umadevi

    So sorry. I feel for you. I can't find the right words that can help you. Is there anyone in you family who can talk to your Dad and knock some sense into him? It would be great if he could just put away his spiritual personality and see you as his little girl.

  • Sam Whiskey
    Sam Whiskey

    ((((Velour)))) It's a raw deal that's for sure. If misery loves company, I'm in the same boat. Mother, Father, Brother, Grandmother, etc... all....gone.

    You can't do anything about it, you got to just move on the best you can....

    Something to inspire you to greatness...


  • scooterspank

    So Sorry Velour. We're all here for you.

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