You should eat this cake. Are you gay?

by Cali Guy 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Cali Guy
    Cali Guy

    That question has been asked to me countless times ever since I can remember. (The gay part, haha.) Reluctantly, I would quickly put an end to their thinkg with a swift, "No".

    Four days ago, after a couple of very strenuous months (years if you count the time I didn't except myself), I came out to my cousin (roommate). I had never admitted that to anyone. I came out to myself. It was as if the entire city of New York was instantly lifted off of my shoulders. After a day of complete joy, I shifted back into my depression as I pondered more and more of the coming days. I know I need (want) to come out to my parents and family/friends. I know they can't handle this truth. They love the make-believe that the org allows them to live in. I grew up hearing about the evilness and deviancy of gay people on a regular basis. Self loathing guaranteed.

    I know life will get better. And I thank all of you with all of my heart, for allowing me to explore my truth. Truth is a funny word isn't it, what is truth? WHATS INSIDE YOU! In the meantime though, I am on shaky ground.

    Tonight as I walked to the gas station, well after midnight. A man called me over me. He held a chocolate cake teetering on a frozen pizza. I slightly pasused but didn't stop. He told me that I need to try this cake that he just stole and that it was the most amazing thing on earth (just realized the parallel of the tree of good and bad). He followed me, telling me over and over to try the cake. I refused. He wasn't homeless looking, somewhat normal even. But I knew that this was a trap of some sort. I was about to be possibly drugged, robbed. Who knows. He asked me where I lived as he followed me. I was a block away from my apartment. As I began to cross in the middle of the street, he asked, "are you gay". I answered, "yes". The first time I answered that question honestly. It felt amazing. I didn't need to hide. Not to anyone. Not at anytime. At that moment, a police officer pulled up and told the man to return somewhere (I didn't hear). I quickly crossed and rushed into my apratment building.

    I know it's odd that I found meaniong in this experience, but I did. Positive energy brings posotive results in my book. I very well could have been beaten or killed by this person, but i wasn't. I even had a life lesson because of it. Life is beautiful. I wish that everyone could see through these rose colored glasses. Thanks for listening. Much love.


  • cantleave

    Be true to yourself, hide nothing and the world will seem an easier to place to live in.

  • irondork

    Hey, Cali Homo!

    One of the things I wish I had when my gay excrement hit the air handling equipment at the family compound was, INFORMATION.

    Facts! I lacked them. All I knew about being gay was what I had been taught my whole life from the society and company. So when it was time for me to come out, I did it as a pathetic, filthy sex-crazed, child-molesting, bile-sucking homo who desrved to die. Of course, I wasn't REALLY sex-crazed (well, I was 19, so maybe a little - but I had only acted on it once), I wasn't REALLY a child molester, etc.. But I knew from a life of JW education that I was a pretty aweful person and the worst part of it was I CHOSE TO BE that person.

    I knew all the scriptures and accusations didn't line up with first hand experiences and what I was really feeling inside, but without real, accurate information it's hard to move. Not knowing where you are in your stream of self-education on the subject - especially the scriptural part, because that is what the family will try to use against you - I want to recommend some reading for you.

    Homosexianity - Letting Truth Win the Devastating War Between Scripture, Faith & Sexual Orientation, by Pastor R. D. Weekly

    Also, look into and start by reading the two essays.

    There's no rush in coming out to anyone. You can set the pace. But I recommend you don't go in unarmed.

  • talesin

    The first time I answered that question honestly. It felt amazing. I didn't need to hide. Not to anyone. Not at anytime.

    so cool!

    check out for Dan Savage's blog.


  • jworld

    On the topic of parental acceptance on coming out. I think its best to keep an open mind. You never know how it will turn out. I think its safe to say you know how it will start. Sure they will find it hard to accept. They may say some things that they will regret later.

    My mom has had her own strange journey. I remember growing up hearing all the degratory comments about gay people. However, after I came out it forced her to deal with the issue. Now she is a member on a pro gay jw forum. It's very strange to say the least, but I work with it thinking she is half way there. She still believes that gay jw's can live happy lives totally celibate, including no masturbation. That is rediculous of course unless you set out to raise a eunuch! I realize she still doesn't understand its not about sex, its about finding love in a life partner and for gay people that happens to be someone of the same sex.

    I could go on, this is one of my favorite topics. I think the best thing to keep in mind is time is on your side...people do come around in their own way eventually.

  • Heartofaboy

    Hi Cali Gay Guy & jworld, I haven't told my parents or my siblings.

    I'm a NPG & you are right the JW's really do believe a person can be TOTALLY sexless. After an elder intimated as much to me I asked him to stop & actually think about what he was expecting me to achieve. He thought & then admitted it was near impossible to live like the WT demands if remaing single is the only way a gay person can be accepted by the religion.

    My heartfelt thougths & good wishes go to you both.


  • dm6

    nice story for you there.

    i wasnt going to post, but then wheni went back to main forum of active topics i then noticed the title you decided to use for this thread. given your story i thought your title was LOL !

  • shamus100

    I wonder what the cake tasted like. You will probably wonder this for the rest of your life. What if..... ?

  • Quendi


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