Lining up to kiss the bride is not allowed. Watchtower Question from Readers.

by ThomasCovenant 30 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • ThomasCovenant
    ThomasCovenant

    Many, if not all, of the Witness weddings I attended in the last few years had the 'tradition' of the bride and groom and members of the wedding party lined up to greet the guests into the reception room.

    It was also a faily common practice to kiss the bride. Congratulations and thanks were exchanged. The usual pleasantries, thanks for coming etc.

    Well here is a quote I just found from the Watchtower 15th May 1952 page 319-320, Questions from Readers. The splitting of sentences and highlighting in bold is my doing.

    Does the Society approve of well-meant showers held preceding weddings or childbirths? Should the gifts be displayed along with an identification of the givers?-M. F., New York.

    The Society does not disapprove of properly conducted showers. But it is not good to get shower-minded, and involve the Lord's people in a spree of them. It is easy for one or two to touch off a series that can become an endless circle of showers. It can burden the brothers, take their time, and their money for gifts they cannot always afford. You may say no gifts are necessary, but the custom calls for gifts and the majority will bring them, and it would be embarrassing to come empty-handed. Now there is certainly nothing wrong with giving gifts. Done spontaneously, it is commendable brotherly kindness and sometimes shows real Christian concern. There is some Scriptural obligation to note those of our brothers who are in need and to help them. We may use a shower as an occasion to help, but we do not have to wait for such occasions, we do not have to fit our giving into such customary times and seasons. Help is sometimes needed at other times. We should give when the need arises, and to those for whom the need is acute, and do so spontaneously, unsolicited by shower invitations that obligate us to give, whether the recipient is in need or not.

    Should the givers be identified with their gifts? Why should they? Surely those giving the more expensive gifts do not seek public acclamation. It might embarrass the poorer brothers who must give more modest gifts, and perhaps cause them to spend more than they can really afford. So why magnify the rich and humble the poor, even if it is unintentionally done? (Jas. 2:1-4) It is not Scriptural, this publicity to gift and giver. "When you start making gifts of mercy, do not blow a trumpet ahead of you, just as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be glorified by men. Truly I say to you, They are having their reward in full. But you, when making gifts of mercy, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing." (Matt. 6:2, 3, NW) If anonymous giving were practiced, would the gifts be as expensive? Would the giver spend beyond his means, if he were not identified with the gift? That would truly measure the unselfishness behind the gift. Such giving pleases God.

    One final point of utmost importance, whether it is a shower or wedding or reception or just a friendly gathering of witnesses. Control the activities so that some edifying results.

    Silly games are for babyish people; mature Christians have advanced beyond them, left them behind.

    Sexually suggestive or passionate dancing to blaring jazz is not for Christians, though proper dancing and music cannot be condemned.

    When Jesus attended a wedding feast he used the occasion to glorify God, performing his first miracle, the turning of water into wine. (John 2:1-11)

    And we can be sure that he did not get in any line to kiss the bride either-so we leave such woman-exalting practices back in the creature-worshiping world, where they belong.

    Instead of any such looseness of conduct or excessive use of food or drink, we should control activities and regulate entertainment into profitable channels, such as the singing of Kingdom songs, playing Scriptural quiz games, relating field experiences, and so forth.

    Not only will such things be a proper relaxation for us and get us better acquainted with one another, but they will be helpful to persons of good will that may be present and impress them favorably with Jehovah's people.

    So we say that there is nothing wrong in properly planned showers, and those who attend should not be criticized by those who stay away, and vice versa. Be moderate in the number held, the giving, the enjoyment of material food and drink while there, and make them spiritually upbuilding. Always remember Christ is our model. (1 Pet. 2:21) He did not consume too much time on such things, did not make a showy display of giving, did not become gluttonous or drunk on such occasions, or at any other time. When at social gatherings he used the occasions to God's glory, but he did not book up his evenings with parties and exhaust himself socializing. It was his zeal for Jehovah and the preaching work that consumed his time and energy. So it should be with us, balancing our various activities proportionate to their importanc

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    That's a woman exulting practice? I know that women should never EVER be exaulted in JW culture, but where does that come from? In our weddings many people kiss the bride--male and female friends and relatives---but they also kiss the groom also (well, not the men---women got it like that. LOL).

    They are like fusssy old women with dirty minds.

    NC

  • sir82
    sir82
    Instead of any such looseness of conduct or excessive use of food or drink, we should control activities and regulate entertainment into profitable channels, such as the singing of Kingdom songs, playing Scriptural quiz games, relating field experiences, and so forth.

    Yeah, I bet ol' Freddy got invited to lots of parties....

    The sad thing is, you can still see this mindset in the stilted dialog of the DC dramas, nearly 60 years after Freddy wrote this.

  • ChunkyMonkey
    ChunkyMonkey

    It amazes me that the only things ever allowed are to go in service, go to the meetings, and sing kingdom songs or TALK about going in service, to the meetings and sing kingdom songs. What a life!

    Please excuse me while I go do some sexy dancing to jazz music now. That stuff really gets me going!

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    So the reason for not kissing the bride is was not because it was unseemly for her to endure it, or so as not to arouse the feelings of young men....No it was "Woman-exalting" ..On her wedding day??? What is a bride if not already the centre of attention?

    "Silly games are for babyish people"...Oh man is that not classic! It sounds more like something a strict Iman could say today...The reception would be a blast singing Kingdom Songs and Bible quizzes ...

    Mind you the line about "dancing to blaring jazz" dates it a bit..

  • Quendi
    Quendi

    I've long maintained that Witnesses are better off not having the wedding in a kingdom hall, especially now with the even more ridiculous regulations and vetting of the couple that have been imposed. As for a reception, that is none of the Society's business about how, where, when it is held. Only the newly married couple should have any say about that. Can you imagine Jesus dictating to the newly married couple at Cana how they should have arranged matters? Certainly not! He attended and enjoyed the people, the food, the wine, and all the other festivities.

    Granted, the above citation was from sixty years ago. But it shows how even in Nathan Knorr's day, the Society felt it proper to dictate to Witnesses about matters on which the Bible is absolutely silent. All I have to say about that is "GET OUT OF HER, MY PEOPLE!"

    Quendi

  • ThomasCovenant
    ThomasCovenant

    Oh, it's dated alright. It is 59 years old. However, barring any 'new light' then this must still stand as 'current light'. Praise Jah.

  • Meeting Junkie No More
    Meeting Junkie No More
    But it is not good to get shower-minded, and involve the Lord's people in a spree of them. It is easy for one or two to touch off a series that can become an endless circle of showers. It can burden the brothers,

    Alrighty then...glad that was mentioned. So true what the brothers say about older material never being out of date...thanks for dusting this one off, Thomas! Wouldn't want to get shower-minded...I thought showers were mostly attended by women, but I see that it ends up burdening the brothers, and we wouldn't want to burden the brothers...

    Interesting that M.F. from New York was concerned about whether the Society approves (of showers). Are there any initials for the brilliant mind that conjured up the response to this question? No??? I wonder why...not even initials! I actually recall some new directive from the platform a few years ago to the effect that the jdubs should no longer use the term 'the Society'.

    If the Bible doesn't mention showers, why the hell should we speculate on such items would be my new Question from Readers.

    Anyhow, really good for entertainment, those old Questions from Readers. Thanks for sharing!

  • Crisis of Conscience
    Crisis of Conscience

    Marked. Thanks!! I have to show this to my wife, but from the actual magazine or CD-ROM. You know, she's a believer.

    CoC

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    What scripture condemns silly games? Isn't that the only kind of game a JW is allowed to play? Anything mature or adult is frowned on. Anything beyond PG is evil, too much secular study is evil, advancing in a career is evil, developing wellrounded interests is evil---what does that leave??? Hopscotch and silly party games.

    NC

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