I need help! i am in social limbo!

by Free!! 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Velour
    Velour

    Howdy Free!!

    If you were introduced to the borg at a young age then it's very likely you pushed aside an exploration of who you are and what you like to accommodate what Jehovah wants, likes, and thinks. We become disconnected from ourselves (maybe never even having the chance to connect) and therefore it will be awkward connecting to others. Please take the time to know what YOU want, what YOU like, and what YOU think.

    After my "what am I all about" time, I realized that I'm naturally an introvert. I quit trying to meet people at crowded parties or at music venues and switched to small on-going classes like cooking and dancing classes. Those yoga classes sound like a great idea! It's weird at first but a great "fake it til you make it" technique is to smile and ask questions about the other person. You'll come off as genuine and by asking them questions 1) you don't have to talk that much and 2) when you do talk, you'll have some information to build on.

    "Have you taken other cooking classes?" *smile and listen*

    "That move has been so difficult for me. How long did you have to practice before you perfected it?" *smile and listen*

    By taking on-going classes you'll likely see the same faces and with a bit of chit-chat here and there you'll meet people who'll turn into friends.

    Look for chances to exchange information: "I took classes on Mediterranean cooking and I loved it, I can totally send you the information if you'd like!" or "I watched a youtube tutorial on that move that really helped me out. I can link it to you if you'd like"

    Remember that even if you feel awkward, the person you're talking to will most likely not notice. Just smile ^_^ And don't be scared to just say, "I'm kind of socially awkward so please excuse me if I seem weird." It's cute, people will perceive you as down-to-earth and honest and will more than excuse your awkwardness.

    And lastly, be patient. It took me about a year to build a decent social circle for myself, one by one I added people with all of this effort. Once you have these lovelies in your life, take the intiative to invite them out for dinner, a quick drink, or a stroll around a gallery. Don't wait for them to call you. Sadly, when we enter the real world we don't have automatic "friends" the same as when we enter a KH. We have a particularly weighty fight when it comes to socializing but I know you can do it! If I, an introverted uncultured grump, can do it you certainly can too ^_^

    Please keep us posted

  • StephanieH
    StephanieH

    @Free!! I know how you feel I am in the same boat. Since I have left I have found it very hard making new friends and moving on. My heart goes out to you as I feel your pain! (btw you have an email message)

  • PenelopePaige
    PenelopePaige

    2-3 Close friends, is actually pretty good. you dont have to have alot of friends to be happy. I can count my "very good" friends on one hand and I like it that way. Learn to enjoy your alone time. :)

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