MS shuns Witness parents

by EmptyInside 34 Replies latest jw friends

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  EmptyInside

  I just wanted your thoughts on this situation. There was a young boy from my former congregatioin,he was about 5 years younger than me.

  And his parents were overly strict with him. But,I think the combination of being Witnesses plus being raised the old-fashioned,southern way themselves was a bad combo for their son.

  Anyway,he got a lot of beatings at the meetings. I don't think he was disruptive or anything. And the rule was,if he was spanked at the meeting,he got another one when he got home. This was for missing part of the meeting,because he "had" to get a spanking.

  And I think the beatings with the belt went on into his teenage years. I remember my mother had to call their house and the boy answered. His mother had to explain to my mother why her son sounded a bit funny when he answered the phone. Yes,he had been disciplined. They had to add to the poor boy's humiliation by telling someone else about it.

  Well,now,he is grown and married with children of his own. He goes to a nearby congregation from his parents. But,he won't talk to his parents or let's them see their grandchildren. His parents have asked his forgiveness,but so far,he isn't giving in. He is a ministeral servant.

  Now,his parents seem like nice people to everyone else. And they probably,it being Wathtower endorsed discipline,thought they were doing right by him. But,it is no excuse.

  It makes me angry because others in the hall are judging him for this,saying he shouldn't even be a servant by holding this grudge against his parents. My mother thinks he should let them see their grandchildren,even if,it's supervised.

  But,I feel that no one but him knows the emotional scares this abuse left on him. But,hey,the Witnesses have no problem shunning anyone,but now,someone is doing unsanctioned shunning,they are up in arms,a bit ironic. But,I feel he has a right.

  The saying goes,"Watch how you treat your children,because they are the ones who pick out your nursing home". Well,in this case,watch how you treat your kids,if you want any relationship with their children. I say good for him,and hang in there.
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  Satanus

  'But,I feel he has a right.'

  I agree. His parents were assholes to him, what do they expect back?

  The proverbial sayings that he better forgive, or else, and honor your 'father' and 'mother', are crocks of crap. They had better start earning it. It will take yrs.

  S
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  Morbidzbaby

  beatings at the meetings

  I sense an ex-JW parody song in the making...

  But seriously, I agree with you. He has every right to shun his parents. They are damaging to him...apology or not, he doesn't have to let them have a relationship with him or his children. IMO, they forfeited that when they beat the tar out of him and humiliated him in public by doing so. I wouldn't allow a stranger to do that to me and then expect that I'd act like nothing happened, let alone my own parents!
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  EmptyInside

  Yes,I didn't mean for that to rhyme,lol. "beatings at the meetings"
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  Morbidzbaby

  LOL Empty... I think I'll start composition on that parody song tout suite...
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  White Dove

  I agree.

  Had some belt biz done on me and my sister when we never needed such extreme treatment.

  My mom kept it up on my kids even when I told her not to.

  She's a Nazi!

  My kids told me about it later.

  You just can't get away with beating your children.

  It will come back on you later.
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  AnnOMaly

  It sounds like there was a whole lot more to it than the spankings that has caused untold damage to him, despite his parents being 'pleasant' upstanding people in public. He may be wanting to protect his kids from their influence. To not let them see the grandkids at all? There's got to be a damn good reason in his mind to be so extreme.
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  EmptyInside

  I agree Ann,there is probably more to the story. But,it wasn't just the beatings,I think they just dictated every aspect of his life growing up. I don't think he had room to breathe. His father especially made life difficult for him.
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  serenitynow!

  I recently confronted my mom about the beatings. I'm not against corporal punishment in general, most of the beatings I got I had coming to me. My mom's form of discipline was excessive though. She would swing that leather belt like a whip, and it might land anywhere. She would also give what felt like 100 lashes. Basically, she would beat us until she got tired. My father would give 10 swats on the butt with a belt, and he would explain why you were getting it. I could see the anger and rage on my mom's face when she was beating us.
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  ABibleStudent

  Why does the congregation have to judge the MS son, because the son decides to not associate with his parents or to allow his children to visit his parents? Is it because JWs feel that parents cannot do anything wrong according to the Bible. Obviously the son feels that the parents did do something unacceptable to him, and he may want to protect his children from his parents. If a congregation feels that they must get involved, why not take up a collection for the son and parents to see therapists and resolve their issues without judging either. I am sure that the children of the son would appreciate it, because children that were abused have more of a tendency to abuse their children.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  ABibleStudent