If I do not go and speak with the elders by Sunday, then he will speak with them on my behalf.

by TimothyT 44 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  TimothyT

  Hi everyone,

  My friend called round before and has just left. He told me that he was worried about me and that he wanted to speak to me as to why I havnt been going to the meetings or on the field service. I told him that Im just not discussing the reasons at all. In the past, as this brother is my longest friend in the congregation, i felt comfortable in telling him that i am having problems reconciling my sexuality. He asked me if this had something to do with it, then said he thought it may be as im now hanging around with and spending lots of time with a gay guy. Again, i simply said, "Im not talking about it." There is nothing i can say which will be helpful.

  He then encouraged me to go and speak with the elders who will be able to help me. Unfortunately, we all know on here dont we that the elders cannot help people like me. They will likely try (and fail) to give me some sort of spiritual councel and direction. Again, im just going to be closed about the whole thing. I will refuse to meet with them, i will refuse to talk. There is nothing which can be said or done about the situation. I will either be marked or disfellowshipped. In any case... im realy disinterested.

  If anyone understands my predicament, its like telling a human that he cant have air. Helping me by giving me 'loving councel' to become something that i KNOW im not, is not the avenue i want to go down. Been there, done that! Came close to suicide because of guilty and disgusting feelings about myself. The way i feel now... IM MUCH HAPPIER! This isnt a case of me WANTING to displease Jehovah or anything. Its simply a case of my own health and wellbeing.

  Anyway, he told me, as JW's are encouraged to do, that if I do not go and speak with the elders by Sunday, then he will speak with them on my behalf. I said to him, "Do as you will!" Again there is nothing i can say or explain that will help the situation... im dealing with an extremely demanding and strictly come organisation here. I welcome the opportunity to finaly be free of it all.

  It approaches...

  Timmy
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  cantleave

  You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

  Put the idiots behind you and get on with your wonderful new life!
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  Rocky_Girl

  It will save you a lot of heartache if you just ignore it and let them do what they will. That is hard if you have family "in" and are worried about how they may treat you, I know. But keep your chin up and a smile on your face even when it feels grotesque. I have a friend who went through this same situation. It was a hard road, but he is at peace with himself now for the first time in his life. They only have as much authority over you as you allow. Be who you are and be free. And come back here when you need us to tell you that you are fantastic and wonderful just the way you are!

  Hugs
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  sir82

  I don't think you are in too much danger.

  You haven't actually committed any act that will get you DF'ed according to the elder rulebook, and there is only "1 witness" (your friend) to anything you might have said.

  The elders will probably follow up with you, based on what your friend says, but you are under no obligation to meet with them.

  If you do decide to meet with them anyway and don't want to DF/DA, just deny, deny, deny, and express how "depressed" you are, and just need time to "work through your own personal issues".

  At that point, the elders will likely see you as a "problem child" with "issues" and won't want to be bothered with you, and likely just leave you alone.
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  yalbmert99
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  serenitynow!

  I think your answer to him was appropriate. I hope you don't continue to hang out with that dude though. If he questions you again, tell him to MYOB!
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  Magwitch

  Good for you Timothy! Refuse all phone calls, visits, invitations and do not sign for any registered letters. Go live your life!
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  Rabbit

  Good for you! Stick to your principles.

  Great quote below...and applicable to ANY sexual orientation...!

  If anyone understands my predicament, its like telling a human that he cant have air.

  If...if the elders get truly interested...they can demand answers. If you refuse them, yep, you could be history as a JW (a good thing), hopefully your family is loving. But, if you haven't been there in a long while...Sir82 gives some good fading advice.
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  jean-luc picard

  Many parents ask the question:

  what would I do if my son (or daughter) tells me he's gay.

  I think that most would accept it as our childrens happiness is the most important thing.

  One would imagine then, that god, as our father, would have the same attitude, since we are made in his image.

  I'm glad that you have found a happy road to be on.

  Good luck.
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  talesin

  (((((timothy)))))

  t