An open letter to the Governing Body: Go F*ck Yourselves.

by EntirelyPossible 103 Replies latest social family

  • EntirelyPossible

    Dear Member of the Governing Body,

    Thanks to you, I did something a few nights ago that I promised I would never do again. I lied to someone. I lied to my SON, and because of that lie, I got to listen to him cry himself to sleep tonight. You see, I am a GREAT liar, thanks to you. Because of your help, I learn how to lie as easily and often as breathing.

    You see, I was born into your clenched fist cult to a father that literally used Proverbs and the Law to enforce discipline in his house. When I was 6 and didn't want to go to a meeting, it was time for the belt. When I said I didn't learn anything new at the meeting at 7 because they talked about the same stuff they talk about all the time, I had the opportunity to go get my own switch from the bush outside of the Kingdom Hall to get spanked with for not paying enough attention. So, did I suddenly want to go to meetings? Sure, lie about it, I love them! What did I learn at the meeting? That I can lie and say I learned some regurgitated point I had heard 100 times already? What I was REALLY learning, though, was that lying was the way out of pain.

    As I grew older, I have to be honest (that's my new mantra now that I am no longer a JW), I never believed any of the ever changing "truth" that spewed forth from the writing department. It seems sad that, at age 12, I was already realizing that the 1914 calculations based on Daniel were little more than numerology, of that a LOT of things in the Aid book didn't match up with the World Book Encyclopedias I loved to read. But, since all my friends and family were JWs, just lie about it.

    I had to go door to door, that was most of the time I ever got to hang out with anyone besides my immediate family, so I just lied to people at the door as if I believed what we were saying. I fake pushed probably 90% of the doorbells I went to.

    Because of your shunning policy, I just lied. It was easy. Pain, torment, getting yelled and being threatened, at the ripe old age of 15, of getting kicked out the day I turned 18 or... just tell a lie. Fuck it, no real choice there. So I lied. I learned how to craft perfect lies. I learned how to juggle five different lies to five different people at the same time, I learned how, when caught, to admit to a lesser offense or tell a half truth to cover up the worst of the lie. You see, I had my apprenticeship listening and reading dutifully at the feet of your writing department, and in time, I became a master.

    Because I had lied about so many things with barely ever a twing of guilt for so many years, I kept it up. I got baptized when I was almost 18 and my father and the elders suggested I didn't want to be 18 and not baptized, did I? Of course not, too much social pressure, so I lied again and got baptized. Later, because lying was easier than losing my friends and family, I met a girl, liked her a lot and we got married when I was 21, waaaay to young to be doing that. I truly did love her, I didn't lie about that, but about all the JW stuff? Of course I did, that's what I had been doing for 15 years already, it never even crossed my mind not to.

    I did a pretty good job of keeping up appearances as a JW, despite never believing a goddamn word of it. I was reading the Watchtower, responsible for a service group, having bookstudy in my house, priviledges in the congregation, heck, I was even placing about 70 magazine a month in my 20 hours of service (easy enough to do when you drop off 30 or 40 in a stack at the bus station every other Saturday and then go to breakfast for the next 3 hours). Heck, I even got caught drunk at the meeting once and lied my way out of that. Notice, I said I only got caught once.

    So, what changed that perfect liar, that perfect imitation of yourselves into someone that abhors the thought of it now?

    My kids. They changed me. Sure, for a few years after they were born I kept up the appearances. It was easy. But then, something happened. I realized I didn't want them to grow up enslaved to a religion that could cause their family to turn their backs on them. I wanted them to have something I never had, something that was never truly mine. I wanted them to have choice. I began to loathe the thought of lying to them. It started small, like the proverbial redwood seed, but it kept growing and growing. I tried to ignore it, but no matter what I did, it would soon return, the desire for THEM to have choice, stronger than ever.

    Even as I was realizing my days of being able to lie effortlessly were coming to an end, my wife became ever more devoted to you. I was told, on many occassions, that the only important thing we could ever do was to make sure the kids became JWs. Eventually I let all my responsibility in the congregations slip. Eventually I started skipping more and more service. I couldn't take the lying anymore. The stress began to know at me.

    At some point, I got a DUI, got reproved and lost the ability to answer for almost a year. When I got off the reproof, I just never started again. I did answer once after that, but it was only to correct something someone had said that was factually wrong. On a side note, it is amusing to listen to how many people repeatedly misapply scriptures in their answers. Humorous for what you refer to as the best bibilically educated people in the world.

    Anyway, during this time, my wife was digging her heels in. We were growing more distant, I was told many times that if I quit going to meetings, our marriage wasn't worth having because I would be a bad influence on the kids. Not if I got disfellowshipped or cheated on her (which eventually did happen, after about two years of a strained marriage going steadily downhill in the name of JW love), but if I simply quit going to the meetings. As you can imagine, realzing that you are not only not number one with your wife, you're at LEAST number 4 on the list of important things, can put a kink in things.

    Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore and told her everything. EVERYTHING. Right then, I resolved never to lie to anyone again. I was going to DA but, after some convincing by a friend that no longer talks to me, I did the judicial comittee. On a side note, it's kind of sad when the elders won't let you use a bible because you are showing them how all of their scriptures are out of context, are cherry picking or just plain the exact opposite of what what the scriptures and test MEANS when they attempt to apply it.

    Anyway, back to tonight. My son is being pressured by your hacks at the kingdome hall to talk me back into the meetings. He's being told I will die at Armageddon. He's worried about me. Seriously, what kind of sick fucks do you assholes have working for you that would tell a kid that? Oh, wait, nevermind, these are the same sick fucks that look our for child molesters. Silly of me to ask.

    He asks me if I will come to the meetings a few days ago. I do go when either one of my kids have talks, but only because I want to show them I love them. But he wants me to come back because he thinks I will die if I don't in Armageddon, the same Armageddon you said would happen in 1914, 1918, 1924, the 1940's, 1975 and finally before the end of the 20th century.

    He was crying, in a moment of weakness I told him I would think about coming every now and then, but in his mind, dad was coming back, going to be a good JW again, mom and dad would get back together and all would be right with the world. I should have ben gentle and firm with him, explained my answer, but I let my love for him overcome my better judgement, as parents are sometimes wont to do.

    So now, when he showed up for his time with me this weekend, he had a daily text book, a new bible, song book and magazines and asked me if I was taking him Sunday or dropping him off at his mom's house and then going. I couldn't lie to him this time. I told him the truth, that I didn't beleive and I didn't want to go, that I couldn't go just to make him happy when, in my heart, I felt it wasn't right. I told him that I loved him, that he was more important to me than anything else, but all he could see was that I lied to him.

    All he could see was the lie, the lie that came so easily before, that lie that I learned from you. He cried himself to sleep, refusing to hug me because he was hurt and angry and afraid for me all at the same time. We'll see what tomorrow brings, Eventually I hope we can work this out, he's a very passionate person and holds on to things for a long time, but, after all, he is my son and we love each other. Unless, of course, you get to him first and make him believe your lie that obeying you is more important than talking to me.

    So, to sum up, you pathethic, vile, wretched, putrid lying excuses for human beings, go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself right in the ass with a red hot fire poker.

  • 3Mozzies

    Well written, too bad the GB a$$holes will never read it up there in their Ivory Tower.

    I truly hope your kids work out that the JW teachings are pure BS and leave.

    So, to sum up, you pathetic, vile, wretched, putrid lying excuses for human beings, go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself right in the ass with a red hot fire poker.

    Couldn't of said it better


  • EntirelyPossible

    Thanks. Writing that was somewhat therapeutic. Not much, but once the idea was in my head, it had to be done.

  • Joliette


  • EntirelyPossible

    Well written, too bad the GB a$$holes will never read it up there in their Ivory Tower.

    On a side note, I was researching some of our customers that fall into my area at my job, and the WTBS was one of them. If I can go sell them some technology, they could be subsidizing my cigar, scotch and golf habits. The irony would be delicious.

  • godrulz

    Oh, boy. Where do we begin? You have a right to be angry with GB. You don't have a right to blame them for your choices, including not investigating things more objectively and for personal lying (they were an influence, not a cause). Keep loving your family. God never intended us to love an organization more (just Him personally more, family second, ministry last).

  • watersprout

    EP that made me cry! I think you need a hug (((((hugs)))))

    I hope your little lad is ok....

    You don't have a right to blame them for your choices, including not investigating things more objectively and for personal lying (they were an influence, not a cause).

    EP can blame who he wants when he wants. It's called mind control. Which you would understand IF you had ever been a JW, which you weren't. This is to do with the pain his little boy is in. Not that you would understand that either. Your child doesn't have violent nightmares where your being hit by a fireball or falling down the earths crack!


  • bigmac

    yes--it bought a tear here too---many parallels with my life. after many years of being shunned by my kids i'm pleased to say my older son is now DF,-- talks to me via facebook, & says he has no wish to go back. ironically his mother now shuns him. what a loving arrangement.

  • tec

    I'm sorry, EP. When backed into a corner (with a loved one, and no one qualifies more than our children), we often fall back to saying or doing what we know. Even when we don't want to do that.

    Your son is so young. You might want to explain to him why you lied (if you haven't already). Not just the 'to make him happy because he was so sad, and you love him', but because you used to lie about it all the time so people wouldn't hate you or stop talking to you. So when he was so upset, you lied again, but that was a mistake, and you shouldn't have done it. Kids, as you know, understand when we bring it to their level, and make it very personal for them. Then you can reassure him about being honest with him in the future.

    Let him be angry and hurt for a while, which you're already doing. But you're going to have to think of a way to try and counter his fear of you dying at Armageddon without him feeling like the rope in the game of tug of war between his mom and her beliefs, and you. You might want to talk to someone who knows a whole lot more than I do on how to do that.

    Writing this out and venting is good though. We hate seeing our kids hurt for any reason, more so if something we did helped cause their hurt - no matter the reasons for doing as we did. Guilt ate me up on the last bad decision I made with my son, and that thread is on here somewhere. Blamed his dad for it too, and that was partially true, but I was eaten up because I knew what was right and didn't stand up for it, just because I wasn't up to a fight with the husband if I didn't have to have one.

    It'll be okay though, EP. Kids are the most forgiving people out there.

    Strength to you,


  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    That was very powerful. I believe that having children was a strong factor in my awakening.

    What a shower of bastards the Watchtower leadership is.

  • TimothyT

    My heart goes out to you EP!

    I understand this all too well! I have seen families destroyed in the name of thi religion, iv seen people even die in the name of it (myself coming very close, ie. suicide).

    Im glad that like myself you have taken appropriate steps to be rid of this wierd claim that these man have to power. Im keenly studying it at the moment and i seriously cannot understand why they feel they are inspired of God, and even more perplexing why EVERY JW just goes along with it, when the bible clearly never even hints of such an arrangement.

    Anyway, I hope that your son understands at some point that the organisation isnt God's and that he can have a personal relationship with God without needing the help of a warped, mind controlling religion. Maybe you could focus on such things when you spend time with him. Show him how he doesnt need the JWs. I hope things improve between you too.


    Timmy :D

  • cantleave

    Heartbreaking stuff. Well written and clear to any of us that have been brought up in the cult.

  • Reality79

    This is the reason why I want nothing to do with JWs. I swear, sometimes I really hate these people.

    I hope everything works out EntirelyPossible.

    I wish the GB would just die off....

  • Heaven

    Wow, EP. Thank you for sharing this. My heart goes out to you and your family. I think it is important for this to be written down and spoken about in public so people can see the destructiveness of these kinds of groups.

    I am hoping your son will be ok. If it were me, I would be formulating my strategy on the best way to start freeing his mind. Mad Sweeney was able to free his family. Black Sheep has good advice too (ask questions that when answered truthfully specifically point out fallacies of the doctrines).

    Always, always maintain with him that you will love him no matter what his choices are in life. This may be key for the future. Always be there for him no matter what.

    So now, when he showed up for his time with me this weekend, he had a daily text book, a new bible, song book and magazines and asked me if I was taking him Sunday or dropping him off at his mom's house and then going.

    Maybe this is the perfect time to start your own personally created Family Bible Studies with him. This may take some time to organize and create but tell him that you and he are going to do some Bible studies of your own. Make it fun for him. Use the Bible to show him their fallacies but get him to look it up. Get your son to answer your questions. Make him do his research and think. Share with him what you have discovered. I am not sure how old he is and how much he is able to do or comprehend. Perhaps leverage some of his interests by incorporating them into this as well. Another idea would be to start doing some community work to help others (as Christ taught) and incorporate that into the 'study' time as well. An example would be to help out at a local shelter or go grocery shopping with him for food for your local food bank and then the 2 of you personally deliver it. Go and help out at the food bank. Makes this a fun thing for him. Then do something he enjoys afterwards. Actually participating in helping others will show him a different side than what the JWs teach and do. JWs do useless things. Christ taught to feed the starving and heal the sick; to help those less fortunate. As a kid this was one of many things that bothered me about JWs because they are 'do nothing' people . A magazine is useless if someone is starving.

    Some questions/statements I have asked my parents over the years were: Please show me the scripture(s) in the Bible where God says, specifically, that going to the Kingdom Hall and handing out Watchtower and Awake! magazines will ensure my eternal life.

    Is God directing the Watchtower? Please show me the scripture that states this.

    Show me the scripture that specifically states Jehovah's Witnesses were Chosen by Christ. ( Maybe leave this one for when he is starting to wake up and ready to research this.)

    As part of all this, maybe start a series of educational sessions with him about the history of the Bible, how it was compiled, and by whom. No one as a JW is taught this stuff.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises


    My heart goes out to you. As your son grows older, he will understand, but for now, all he knows is the Borg teachings. It will take time but it is my hope that he will come round. Just give it time.

    As a fellow born-in, I could relate to the rest of your story. Although I fell for it ball and sinker. At least you had the brains to realise you didn't believe it. It took me until my late 20s to work that much out.

  • TimothyT

    Heaven has made some great points.

    To him you should listen! :D

    Good luck!


  • transhuman68

    I guess it is hard for those of us with personality flaws (myself included) to completely believe that we are right, and that what we believe is the absolute truth, but maybe that is a legacy of being born into this cancerous religion. EP, you can tell your son the truth: The Witnesses are totally deluded, and their beliefs are based on a twisted interpretatiopn of an ancient book of Middle-Eastern myths. We will prevail in the long run.

  • bigmac

    " right in the ass with a red hot fire poker."

    i cant help tinking it probably wouldnt touch the sides

  • sizemik

    Entirely possible . . . as the other posters have said . . . it's reprehensible what WT indoctrination does to families. The immediate family is a unit and should be "hands off" to outside influence. This is not the case with WT and they do terrible damage as a result. Your son may well have given his heart to their false promises of a paradise just around the corner. For a youngster, having this dream dashed can be very traumatic . . . so tread ever so carefully with him. Strengthening your bond and making sure he is secure in your love is more important than re-setting his beliefs too quickly . . . that will come with time. Try and avoid any movement toward baptism if possible.

    As for your feelings toward the those at the centre of this travesty . . . many here will simply be nodding their heads in agreement.

    Fight hard and smart for your family . . . they are worth it. I wish you the very best.

  • Heaven

    Heaven has made some great points.

    To him you should listen! :D

    Thanks, Timothy T. Just to clarify, though, I am a 'her'.

    Betty Cooper

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