I could use some friends now more than ever soPM me if you have any suggestions on what type of shrink deals with these issues! Thanks!
Psychiatrists are medical doctors who prescribe psychotropic medications. That I suggest.
You should get honest with your prescriber if you are not taking your medications as prescribed and alcohol or "legal plant food" you are abusing. Those behaviors just cancel out the therapeutic effects of medications, make your brain and emotions worse.
And Xanax....! Benzodiazepine dependence is one of the most torturous to recover from. There are other options for managing anxiety--cognitive behavioral therapy + nonaddictive medications (taken as prescribed without addition of alcohol/illicit drugs) being the most effective combo.
Psychologists and other therapists use evidence-based counseling techniques to help you sort out what's happened and develop coping skills. You do not need a cult specialist to do that, just a good therapist. One who's worked with victims of controlling abusive domestic relationships should be great, but all therapist have training to do that. Just be sure to get someone who is licensed.
I am not going to respond to the rest of your post at this time. I have a policy not to respond to posts written when high/intoxicated...I don't see much point in it. Maybe when you sober up and post more I will respond later on.
Good luck and take care.