What if your Significant Other wanted to become a JW? (page 2)

Morbidzbaby

I would definitely end it if there was no changing his mind. Bad enough I have to deal with JW family members and being barraged once in awhile with dubspeak...I couldn't be in a relationship with someone and have to live it every day of my life AGAIN. Getting out means getting out. I wouldn't shack up with a person with a communicable disease, so I won't live with someone who has contracted and spreads the infection of the Watchtower.

Billzfan23

I'd show her the door

pirata

Dune, don't worry. If she is your girlfriend and wants to become a JW, dumping her worldly boyfriend would be one of the prerequisites to getting baptized. It would take care of itself.

CAMELOT

Dune

thanks for responding. I am no fraud. I was baptized in 2006 and my daughter followed in 2007. I never looked into the history of this organization and it was a bad time in my life so this was appealing for me. But I began to have doubts once baptized. This year I began researching the internet, ordering books, downloading the WT publications and studied YOUTUBE exeriences. After careful consideration, I knew I could not continue to raise my 5 year old as a witness. I wanted her to have a life and take her to a church she could flourish in. Have the holidays as my other adult children experienced. So It was a choice to either have my adult daughter who is a witness turn me in when she saw how I was raising the little one and ALLOW the society to brand me as disfellowshipped just because I disagreed with their teachings, or would I DA myself so that it's known to all that I don't believe the GB is God's channel of communication. I wanted to set the example to my children that I am against their beliefs and leave without the brand that I commited a non repentant gross sin...I didn't want to give them the satisfaction. My letter has just reached my hall but they have not made my announcement yet.

Found Sheep: My daughter and I were so very close I cannot put that into words and now she and her husband are going to shun me for as long as I live. The pain I am going through right now I cannot put into words. I found this site hoping to get a cushion to help with the transition. I don't know how they live with themselves knowing the devastation being caused among families and thier loved ones.

CAMELOT

If anyone has someone they love...quickly sit with them on the computer and show evidence of the fallacies commited by the Watchtower. Their own publications and literature expose them. I wish I had done that before every getting involved with this organization. I left but it cost me having my 22 year old daughter who will never speak to me again.

Found Sheep

sorry camelt!!! Sometimes things just don't seem "real" and I have over active "fraud" radar on at all times. I've lost loved ones too and feel the pain! Please forgive me! LOL FS

Found Sheep

I think what made me question was you said you were DA but didn't know about "the fade" that was ignorance on my part! You made a hard choice! Please find suport here and if someone like me says something stupid... well forget it! OK I'm feeling GUILTY for being a mean person!!! peace to you and all! I'll shut up now and go clean the house or something...

jgnat

Dune, been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. I'm not going to give any glib answers. If I had planned on starting a family, I would not have stayed with him. As it is, our religious differences add a quirky spark to our bickering.

Camelot, submitting a DA letter cancels any opportunity to do the fade. What exiting witnesses often forget is that all the rules for separating themselves from the society are home-made. If you don't believe they are God's organization any more, you don't have to follow their rules. You simply walk away. The fade consists of gradually reducing your commitments and meeting attendance, moving if necessary. Just don't let anyone know what you are thinking. Fake depression if necessary.

As for a relationship with your daughter, remember all the rules are on her side, not yours. Consider how you might stay in touch, even if it is with post-cards throughout the year. Let your love shine. Hope.

OnTheWayOut

Camelot, you probably will find some of the comfort you seek here. To it's own detriment, this board is cautious and occasionally hard toward a new person. Just post on and tjat will pass quickly. It's just that so many have been burned by that religion and then the jokers/trolls invade our internet sanctuary. Please stick around if you seek help and I bet you find it.

If I were in a situation where my wife was not ready JW and wanted to study, the hell with "a right of their own" to thier own beliefs. WTS doesn't deal honestly with people. The members don't learn a belief of their own, but learn to give their minds to mind-controlling bass turds.

I would learn how to do a full blown intervention, involving her family, friends, and the best sources on doctrine. If it didn't get me shunned, I would even do it for someone who is not a significant person in my life.

ABibleStudent

Hi Dune, If you are serious about having a long-term relationship with your girl-friend, I agree with LouBelle, "Get a dialogue going" with your girl-friend. Since your girl-friend was not raised a JW, she is probably not aware of mind control and is curious how you were affected by the WTBTS. If your girl-friend wants to know more about mind control, she and you can read books by Steve Hassan and you can tell her how the WTBTS controlled your mind.

Hi CAMELOT, I am sorry to hear about your situation with your older daughter. I would also read books by Steve Hassan about mind control, "Crisis of Conscience" by Raymond Franz, and Chapter 9 of "Getting the Love that You Want - A Guide for Couples" by Harville Hendrix, so that you can figure out how to communicate with your older daughter. It also wouldn't hurt to pray a lot for Our Father, Jesus Chris, and the Holy Spirit to help your daughter to follow Jesus Christ (or whatever you feel comfortable with). While reading "Combating Cult Mind Control" by Steve Hassan on page 75, I thought that it was funny (in a strange way) that Steve's mother prayed for a year for Steve to break his leg so that Steve would be forced out of the Cult. Steve was in a terrible car accident and broke his leg. While Steve was convalescing at his sister's, Steve's parents were able to enlist help from former cult members to de-program Steve. As long as you show your older daughter unconditional love and can reach her authentic self, you will be able to have a good relationship with her eventually - don't give up hope!

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

ABibleStudent

What if your Significant Other wanted to become a JW?

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