Most entertaining platform misdeed.

by Slidin Fast 29 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Girlie

    LOL! That's the funny thing. During his visit, there wasn't anything major going on at the hall. It was after a few new CO's when those terms could have been rightly applied. lol Mainly, he was trying to make a point of how a congregation without elders providing direction would be chaos.

  • MrFreeze

    This wasn't on the platform but my brother was supposed to answer "Jehovah" on a question and instead he said "Batman".

  • freddo

    District Convention in Cardiff UK in the 1980's.

    During the sessons one of the assistants on the sound team bicycles out of the "tunnel" onto the running track in full view of ten thousand JWs, goes to a loudspeaker, dismounts and adjusts something - gets back on his bicycle and goes back!

  • What Now?
    What Now?

    At one meeting, the brother doing the roving mikes needed a bathroom break, took the mike with him and forgot to turn it off. We all enjoyed some interesting sound effects ;)

    @aSphereisnotaCircle - i was going to comment on that as well. I know that people laugh because they think its cute, but a child is not going to see it that way. I remember a little sister who gave a comment, everyone chuckled, but she turned to her mother almost in tears and asked 'why is everyone laughing?'. Its heartbreaking.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    At one meeting, the brother doing the roving mikes needed a bathroom break, took the mike with him and forgot to turn it off. We all enjoyed some interesting sound effects ;)

    I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that story. It supposedly occurred in a neighbouring cong where I was too.

  • Elgiard

    I wasn't on the platform at the time, but I spanked a cat during the school once. I always sat right by the side door into the auditorium (which was right by the stage) so I could bail as quickly as possible, and one night they had it open because it was hot and the AC wasn't working. During the "#1" talk, a cat ran through the open door and started across the auditorium. I jumped up and got it and put it out, but a minute later it did it again. About the third or fourth time I gave it a gentle swat on the rump before I put it out, and it didn't come back. As a cat owner I know this is the easiest way to get a cat's attention, and I didn't even think about it. It was apparently quite the scandal

  • burnedout

    An older brother, used to be a Bethel Heavy, giving the Public Talk makes a big build up and said 'After the thousand year reign, Jehovah will SHIT on his throne.'

    We figured he meant 'sit', but a few of us had to get up to get a drink all of the sudden.

    Another time, the TMS overseer at the Written Review(late 70's or early 80's), asked the question wrong, 'What is one form of BIRTH CONTROL?' (the question was about BREATH CONTROL). Everyone is already starting to laugh out loud and a hard of hearing brother raises his hand and gives the correct answer to both questions: 'PAUSING'

    Burned Out

  • LittleMac

    A few memories pop into my head from some of the congregations where I spent many, many hours. In one rural congregation in Pa, one of the readers at the book study would substitute 'hamburger' every time he didn't know a word. So if it was a chapter on Nebuchadnezzar or something, forget it, it was so hard to stay serious.

    Another brother from rural Pa, also, while reading the Creation book, one night the lesson had the word 'organism' all throughout it and made us all blush when he said orgasm about twenty times during that study.

    In the same hall, on another night at the Theocratic School, during a number 3 talk, this one older sister reads the scripture and refers to Nimrod as a mighty 'humper'. Too hilarious to this day we joke about it.

    Then there were all of the pet words and mannerisms too funny from the brothers. One dear old elder couldn't help but work in at least some comment about prostitutes or sex no matter what the material was about.

  • Marvin Shilmer
    Marvin Shilmer

    My most entertaining platform misdeed:

    I once leaked out a silent killer while giving a public talk.

    When everyone else was busy trying to find a Bible text I had just invited them to turn to, I was busy trying to silently relieve myself of some gas.

    I was successful, but… while I was reading the scripture my lungs were confronted with the likes of something they had never known. Besides shedding tears from the fumes, it was all I could do to contain my laughter. That thing was a pure unadulterated stink bomb!

    Next thing you know, two sisters sitting right in front of the lectern looked at each other exchanging exaggerated looks. They were absolutely disgusted. One of them rushed out fanning the air. Again I was fighting to contain my laughter.

    This thing slowly spread back about two more rows before the deadly concentration dispersed to modest effect. By the to and fro rustling it almost looked like the near audience was doing a mini version of “the wave.”

    The funniest thing was a 10-year-old boy sitting within range. He looked at me straight in the eyes, sized me up and gave me that “WOW that was a good one” look. You can’t fool a child. They know the look. We both exchanged grins, knowing perfectly well what each one was silently saying to the other. He knew I was the responsible party, and he knew I knew he knew it was me. My grin acknowledged his suspicion.

    Marvin Shilmer

  • undercover

    I'm LOL at Marvin.... Fart jokes are the best...

    One old hall was a converted ranch house. Weird thing about the back of the stage/platform was that there was no wall, just a curtain. Since the stage was built up above the existing floor, right behind the curtain was a drop off to the original floor. Everyone in the hall knew it was like that but you couldn't tell it from just looking at it.

    One Sunday a visitting speaker was giving the talk and for some reason that I can't remember now, he stepped back away from the podium. I can only guess that it was the end or something and he was stepping back until the chairman took over. Anyway - as he leaned on what he thought was a solid wall, he started to fall backwards. He tried to regain his footing but one foot went backwards off the landing. The last thing we saw was his arms waving, trying to catch his balance as he fell throught the curtain backwards out of sight.

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