Most entertaining platform misdeed.

by Slidin Fast 29 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Slidin Fast
    Slidin Fast

    Another one. I don't want to mock those with diabilities but this was squirmingly, hideously funny.

    A brother was up to give his bible reading but he had a terrible stammer. Try as he might he couldn't get through the first word. The congregation sat in sympathetic embarrassment. The time was up, the buzzer went and the poor bro got off the platform.

    The school overseer got up, he had a terrible stammer. Try as he might he could not get through the first word. I don't know to this day how the meeting got finished.

    I tell this story with fond memories of these brothers, I think if they were around they would have a wry smile at what happened that night.

  • What Now?
    What Now?

    At the end of the meeting, the brother said that we were going to close the meeting "with song and dance ... i mean ... prayer!". And in his public talk, an older brother said that he "knows a hell of a lot about chemistry".

  • pubtruth

    I got two for y'all

    One of these happened at the start of the public talk. The song and prayer was over and the elder holding the meeting walked back up to the podium and said while we were all standing "You may all now stand up as we welcome you to our public talk" You could hear the snears and giggles all over, puzzled looks by old sisters, as we all sat down.

    An elder got carried away once with one of the service meeting parts and went beyond the time specified. There was still a part to go and the elder assigned jumped from his seat and ran, leaping the steps to the platform, almost gasping for air at the podium. I was red trying to hold in laughter, everyone else was droned out because they were too tired to notice.

  • NVR2L8

    Our bookstudy conductor started the meeting with an overview of what that week's study would be about...then he asked me to read the first I suggested that we first have a prayer! Another time, I was conducting the study and I had to wake up the reader a few time during the meeting. Another time the Watchtower reader started reading the first was not only the wrong article, but it was also the wrong issue of the WT...he had to leave the platform to get the right magazine. An elder who has just moved to our congregation asked an old brother to conclude the meeting with prayer...he assumed the brother would do fine, being one of the anointed...the prayer went on forever and it included his request for forgiveness for forgeting his bible at home and not being able to follow the reading of the scriptures during the meeting....

  • aSphereisnotaCircle
    He said ''well you have been reading my notes, so you can finish for me''... He stepped back from the podium and stood looking at me.. The cong started laughing...

    This is one of my pet peeves, children are often laughed at in front of the whole congregation.

    I realize that adults are laughing because they think its "cute", but it is also very rude and just plain thoughtless of a childs feelings.

    Once again showing how the JWs has no respect or compassion for children.

  • sooner7nc

    When I was a teenager I used to visit a cong. a few miles west of the town I lived in. This cong. was the one that my Mom and Dad had went to when younger and I still had probably 15 or 20 relatives and a boatload of friends that went there.

    Well, they had an elder there by the name of A**** W***** who was a very nice old country bumpkin with a good sense of humor but no fashion sense at all. One Sunday I drove over to this hall and when I went in, my friends had saved me a seat with them towards the front of the hall. (this was something of a change as we normally sat as far back as possible). Now for the funny part.

    It happened that this day was the day when A.W. was assigned to read the WT and happenstance had us sitting on the side where the reader sat. Now, Ol' A.W. had the habit of sitting very casually when he read the WT, kinda leaning back with his legs splayed out. He was completely comfortable and in his element to put it mildly. Remember when I said he had no fashion sense? Well, this day was an example of that fact as he was wearing a light blue gray suit with some western style striping on it, you know, the kind that you might see in a photo of an old Country & Western singer. This suit was made of a kind of stretchy material (double knit maybe? IDK) and...well I'm just gonna get to the point.

    This day Ol' A.W.'s sitting there all spread open with what looked like a veiny squirrel plastered down the side of his leg covered only by this thin layer of "slack" material. Apparently the dude was part horse.

    I laughed through the entire WT study and could never look him in the eye again.

  • crapola

    I never had heard that before. He died not long ago, poor thing. I feel bad about laughing now but just can't help it.

  • Girlie

    In my old congregation, a visiting CO who was known for being very out spoken made some offensive remarks about our congregation the couple of times he visited it. The first visit, he likened our congregation to a "bitch in heat" without the assistance of the elders. The second visit, he called our congregation a "whore house" without the assistance of elders. Both times I had my face down in my book crying with laughter. lmao

  • sooner7nc

    I hate to hear that Mom. I always thought he was OK.

  • serenitynow!
    The first visit, he likened our congregation to a "bitch in heat" without the assistance of the elders. The second visit, he called our congregation a "whore house" without the assistance of elders.

    Dang it! What was going on in your hall? Tell some stories please!

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