I stopped trying also with my JW family.
My father was to come visit in early May. I called, and he said he'd make it after the first week. Then, it's after last Wednesday. Now, I've not heard. I just don't feel like hounding. He hasn't called to speak with or talk to any of his gradchildren or me (unless he really needs me to do something for him..). I will admit that when I call, and he sounds very happy to hear from me. But, he doesn't call or make an effort. He announced that with this visit...he just wanted to go out into field service when he came. I assured him I'd take him to the local KH each morning, as I had in the past. The typical visit will go like this:
- drive dad to KH for field service at 7:30ish
- dad comes home via another "friend" around eleven or noon
- dad eats lunch and takes nap
- dad awakes to read bible & mags
- dad will do some small talk, but then tell me about a JW (chain) e-mail.
- I feign interest, but will sometimes just can't take it anymore..and will question doctrine or the logic of the e-mail....(oh, no!)
- dad eats dinner, retires for more bible reading
- dad goes to bed
So, it's just can be taxing to be around all of that JW "good-i-ness" that is on show. Sometimes, I think he does it to ward off the "demons" that must be lurking due to my CHristmas ornaments and holiday decorations that are stored. Perhaps, it's the Percy Jackson movies or the kids games. But really, I think he's trying to show me that he's a follower of Jehovah (to make up for some awful years). I half-heartedly thought of making him a garlic rose necklace...like those Hawaiin ones....and greet him at the airport with it. LOL.
The JW/non-JW thing is the elephant in the room; making any real family time almost impossible.
When you have JW family and you ain't JW, you might as well not have JW family. Sometimes, shunning is a blessing.