i have finally decided to "give up " on jw family !

by looloo 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • looloo

    my inlaws have now not visited my child of 7 for more than 2 years since we moved a half hour drive away as i didnt want to live in the same town as my other childs abuser (an ex min servant ) after he was released from prison ! they only visited once and i made it clear that they were welcome anytime as they left , since then they havnt bothered but have told people that i dont allow them to see my child , which is not true . my mother in law tried to give some money to my child recently through her disfellowshipped son but he asked "why ?" after all its far too late now , are we supposed to say to our child "here is some money from grandma who dosnt bother coming to see you and you have just got over the fact that daddys brother and sisters and father dont come to visit us but heres ten pounds to make up for the fact " . im going to write a letter and say its all too late now and too much time has gone by and they can all feel free to shun us forever but remember its them doing the shunning and not us ! i wish they had never had any contact at all with our child and then she would know no different . that cruel religion makes me boil up with anger sometimes .

  • grewupjw1969

    looloo... I am so very sorry for your pain. It's ironic that today I vcame here to get some encouragement because I too have given up. The anger that I have is eating me alive and my physical health is being affected. I wish for you some relief from the anger. It's truly not worth it. You will be ok because we know better now.


  • looloo

    hi , grewupjw , sorry foyou pain tell us more please . im just having a off day today but im as "over it " as i can be usually ! but just the sight or mention of jws makes me go back to "bad times " in my head , the only answer is to avoid them and even hearing about them! hope you are ok xx

  • WontLeave

    Your child's been 7 for more than 2 years? That's odd. (Sorry, I'm just in one of those moods, today. It's all about the commas.)

    told people that i dont allow them to see my child

    A JW lying about shunning? I never thought I'd live to see the day.

    "why ?"

    The correct response, only substitute "Paradise" for "Heaven":

    You are looking at an old woman who is trying to get into Heaven. - Bill Cosby

    JWs do not have relationships, even with family. What they have are opportunities. Just like the fake smile they put on when knocking on doors, the "personal interest" they fake when asking questions, the conditional "love" which demands you believe everything they do. JWs tout their "love" as identifying them as God's true organization, but think about love:

    Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. - 1Cor 13:4-8

    Now think of what Jesus said the world is like:

    If YOU were part of the world, the world would be fond of what is its own. Now because YOU are no part of the world, but I have chosen YOU out of the world, on this account the world hates YOU. - John 15:19

    Which more closely describes JWs?

  • looloo

    wontleave , very good replys i may use in my letter ! im not very good on the computer im afraid hence my mistakes !Lol x

  • leavingwt

    I'm very sorry that this is happening. It's awful.

  • Iconoclast

    "I know your works, your labor, your ??patience, and that you cannot ?bear those who are evil. And ??you have tested those ?who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars" Rev 2:2

    I think that is pretty accurate to many ex-jw's situations.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi looloo, I am sorry that your inlaws and family are shunning you. Instead of sending a good-riddance letter to your relatives, why not send them emails with pictures of all the fun things that you are doing with your family. At the end of the email, you could write, "I hope that you had a great time in your meetings, instead of living and having fun with your family." You could also send them postcards, but why waste the money buying and mailing it to them.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • grewupjw1969

    Thanks looloo..

    I was brought up a JW, never got baptized though. I saw a lot of hyprocrisy esp with my JW Elder father. He is such a snake in the grass. In recent years my mom past away and I seriously thought about becoming a witness. But it would have been for the wrong reasons. I just wanted a family. Thats all. My dad choses when to associate with me, usually to his benefit. I can't take it any longer. I have plenty people around me that I consider family and I'm convinced that this is enough. I just can't take anymore heartache. It's way too much to go into here, just trying to move forward.


  • nugget

    families know how to really hurt us. They behave badly and think that small half hearted gestures will be enough to make it all better.

    If they didn't visit I would put it down to apathy and thoughtlessness not good but also not untypical of forever busy people in JW land. If they are making false claims to justify their non visits then that is appalling behaviour.

    I am sorry

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