Intro to my book "A Soul Shackled"

by AK - Jeff 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Thanx all. Instructive critique is always welcome, and appreciated for the effort it takes [and the interest].

    Unshackled - I have fought off the 'lazy' aspect for a long time myself. Perhaps procrastination has been substituted in my mind. I find myself so busy and distracted with other concerns that I kept putting it off. Perhaps I just don't want to find the time. I hope I can keep interested this time through.


  • talesin

    Nice work, Jeff.

    Looking forward to more ... are you going to post it here as an ongoing thing?

    I especially want to send you a big WELL DONE for getting the project started in a concrete fashion.


    (procrastinator extraordinaire)

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Talesin - I have considered, am considering, the idea of writing it under a blog somewhere, then eventually making it a book. I don't know if that makes sense or not though, as it would potentially dilute the demographic for a book. Also, I am unsure of the copywrite protection in doing so - would anything I wrote be protected under cw law if published openly on the internet? Not sure.


  • unshackled

    would anything I wrote be protected under cw law if published openly on the internet? Not sure.

    Don't have any references but I think I've read something about this...and that blogs were under CW law.

    Jeff…maybe I'm sidetracking your thread…but your blog question reminded me of an idea I had regarding writing my own book/blog type thing.

    Besides laziness or procrastination, the thing that really stalled me about writing a book was that I felt my story isn't all that unusual. No real drama. Besides growing up and indoctrinated a JW, my life was good…well taken care off. Wasn't sure what angle to take to gain reader sympathy about the "horrors" of JW life. If that makes sense.

    Which brings me to the idea I had....though only briefly considered. Haven't had contact with my JW parents for many years. So I wondered if I got in contact and played a wolf in sheep's clothing. The premise would be: I want to come back but have some issues with JWs that need to be addressed. I would communicate this with my father and then document the whole process. It would be used for the book but could also blog the process.

    This would serve two things: 1) to possibly reach him with subterfuge 2) adds an intriguing aspect to the book, it would have the retelling of my story interjected with flash forwards to the current ongoing attempt to get a father out of the cult.

    Problem with that premise….is it too dishonest? Hiding the true motive, to document the entire process and print in a book? The motive to get him out of the cult would be genuine, but not the approach. Not to would take some pretty big cojones to pull it off.

    What do you think?

  • jamiebowers

    Your intro draws readers in and leaves them wanting more. However, you definitely need an editor to clarify and simplify your writing. I've done some newspaper edting and writing for the past seven years. PM me if you want an example of what should be done with your introduction.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Unshackled - I tend to agree that the dishonesty required in this might be awkward at point of discovery.

    Jamiebowers - I would love to see your suggestions. Could you post it here, as perhaps others would also find it helpful. As stated, all positive reinforcement accepted in the spirit of intent.


  • Thetis

    Looking forward to reading your book. Very descriptive - the quiet town and the black four door sedan conveys something sinister....and it leaves one wanting more. Also, it's from your own perspective.

    I'm a firm believer in "writing oneself into wellness" - even if it takes a lifetime.

  • Lozhasleft

    I liked the Intro Jeff...definitely paints a picture. Look fwd to reading your book/blog, so please update us.

    Loz x

  • Heartofaboy

    I enjoyed your intro very much Jeff..........I have very VERY similar recollections of me being in the front garden & a lady calling on my mother when I was about 5.

    The rest is history...........50 years on I'm making my way out & so are my parents.

    We will never allow the 'earthling men' who run the Watchtower org have such power over us again.

    Looking forward to the rest of your story.

  • jamiebowers

    My earliest memories of the religion begin somewhere around the age of three or four, because I recall leading the ‘pack' around the yard on an ‘explore' of some sort. It was a hot summer day. Our small town was always quiet. We saw few visitors at our home, for that matter even on our block. I happened upon a large black four door sedan parked on the edge of our lawn, as the streets were curbless and narrow. Sitting behind the wheel was a man, whom I would later come to know as Raymond, a kindly gentleman, who some months later would dance a 'soft-shoe' in our kitchen.
    I said something to my siblings about the car not belonging there. When I turned to the door, my mother was just saying her goodbyes to Velma who was holding a black book and a large purse, which later I came to understand was a ‘book-bag'. She and mom were discussing matters of which I have no recollection. I do recall though, that we three children hovered about her skirt as she prepared to leave, and I smelled a particularly pleasant perfume. This is a nice lady, was my first impression. She further impressed all of us by pulling some chewing gum from her bag and giving us each a piece. She left Mom literature of some sort, retrieved from the same bag, and clearly with some questions. (This sentence isn't clear. Who, your mom or the lady or what, the literature had some questions? If your mom was left with questions the sentence could read, "Retrieved from the same bag, Velma left literature with Mom, who clearly had questions.) This woman would become a major influence in my life, and the religion she was peddling would become my own.
    Now, some fifty years later, those memories remain among a small cluster of my earliest, and I suppose in some respects, my most bitter-sweet recollections. It took me most of those fifty years to understand that this day represented the beginning of a very strong mind-capture that has taken a lifetime to break.
    I write this book, after hopefully putting the majority of my anger behind me. My efforts are focused on how I was robbed by this religion, and mentally imprisoned by it. I spent decades putting life on hold, waiting for an elusive reward promised I thought, by God, reiterated a thousand times by the very literature my mother held in her hands. My mother died believing it - I will not! I now understand that reward will never come - it was just delusion. Delusion robs us of reality and irreplaceable time taken in its pursuit.
    It would be nice if one or two people read these words and find some value in my experience. It would be grand if one or two use them as a springboard to discovery that will also free them from what I view as religious irons. But it is also written because I can! I have discovered freedom to have my own opinions and express them.
    These experiences, and my discovery of the fraud that captured my life, may also find an audience among others held in captivity by religious delusion of slightly different varieties. These are the memories of, and the tale of escape, of a Soul Shackled.

    Jeff, this is just a quick run through...haven't had my coffee yet. A professor in my favorite writing class underlined every sentence I wrote in my first assignment for her. She circled words and filled the margins with scribbled suggestions and questions about what I had to say in that paper. It was three pages long, and I was crestfallen to see all of the red marks on it until I saw she gave me an "A" on the last page. I asked her, "If this is an 'A' paper, do you set 'D' papers on fire?" She just laughed and continued to mark up my papers with red ink. I learned so much from her.

    Off the top of my head, here are some guidelines she gave:

    Don't repeat the same word in a paragraph if possible.

    Use shorter sentences most of the time and longer sentences only when necessary.

    Don't worry about grammar, spelling, etc until you are in the editing phase. If you have questions about such, Google them. There's a wealth of information out there on the internet.

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