Is flirting just harmless fun ?

by caliber 20 Replies latest social relationships

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  caliber

  On some base level, flirting is not destructive. In fact, it may be a perfectly natural and healthy way for two people to interact. Yet, as the level of involvement in flirting increases, the emotional stakes rise for the two involved parties and the uninvolved member of the relationship

  Must couples must be mutually comfortable with a set level of flirting ?

  Your thoughts please !!!

  What's the difference between being friendly, socialable, or playful and hurting a relationship?

  So if one partner is bothered by the other's flirting, should it be something that could be respectfully discussed, without blaming and/or stigmatizing ?
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  caliber

  From wikipedia .. People flirt for a variety of reasons. Flirting can indicate an interest in a deeper personal relationship with another person. Some people flirt simply for amusement, with no intention of developing any further relationship. This type of flirting sometimes faces disapproval from others, either because it can be misinterpreted as more serious, or it may be viewed as cheating if either person is already in a relationship with someone else

  There has to be some sort of balance here.... what is it ??

  Here is one thought from the web...

  I agree that a little flirting is fun and not a big deal. One issue might be the potential for more flirting (and beyond).
  Flirting with a stranger at a club who you'll never see again is one thing, flirting with an office mate you spend eight hours a day with is another
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  rocketman

  I have no problem with some mild flirting. But I try not to flirt at all. I find all the reading-between-the-lines to be frustrating. I prefer a straightforward way of speaking with women. If I'm interested, I think she'll know it without me resorting to games. If I'm not interested, then I don't pretend that I am.

  Of course, speaking isn't the only means of flirting. I may be flirting with my eyes or demeanor without even being aware of it. Also, some people seem to define virtually any light-hearted interaction between the sexes as flirting, an overly strict view with which I do not agree. In other words, if I don't know that I'm flirting, then I'm not flirting.

  I also have several "rules" in my dealings with women:

  Never refer to them as Honey, Sweetheart, Baby, etc. I used first name only, no such titles. If you're not my honey, I'm not calling you Honey.

  Limit conversation about body parts.

  Limit compliments.

  When offering a compliment, do not use words like Amazing, Fantastic, etc. Use the word "nice", and that's about it.
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  Amelia Ashton

  I only ever flirt with gay men because I know where they stand and they know where I stand. Plus, it is completely safe and we both get an ego boost.
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  caliber

  Both of the above comments make a lot of common sense to me.....I like this response on another site....

  My own personal rule is to act as if my SO was always around. If I wouldn't mind her seeing me act this way, then I believe it's okay. If she disagrees, it's something we can talk about. Either way, no one's hiding anything from the other person
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  charlie brown jr.

  Isn't it normal???

  It's fun.... can it get out of hand....

  well Then it's not flirting..
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  SixofNine

  oh it's "just" harmless fun until someone gets poked in the eye!
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  easyreader1970

  In my experience, I have found flirting to be more dangerous than fun. People misread signals. It's not cool to put disclaimers at the openings of all of your flirtations that say: What follows is merely a harmless flirt. I'm not really that attracted to you and I don't want to make out with yout this evening. I'm the furthest thing from eye-candy possible, and I have absolutely zero skill in wooing women. But some women love to be told wonderful things about themselves. And so do men. And the back and forth can be fun, especially if you're not this treatment normally. But too many times after flirting have I gotten invitations to "hang out", even though they know I am married. I have been asked to help move furniture, give rides home, go look at furnace filters, newborn puppies, all after harmlessly flirting. I only actually accepted one of these offers, thinking she was being honest. This almost ended in disaster. We were both married.
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  TheClarinetist

  
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  ABibleStudent

  In my opinion flirting is fun and is not dangerous. When flirting, it is ok to say that someone looks amazing if you honestly feel that they do. It is not ok to say something that you honestly do not feel to another person. Flirting ends when dating begins (i.e., someone asks the other person to meet for coffee, dinner, a hike, etc. with the intention of determining whether they like the person enough to become more intimate). Dating is not dangerous either, if both individuals are not in a committed relationship with another person, are honest with each other, respect each other, and limits are established and adherred to.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  ABibleStudent