No memorable talks at assemblies? Sorry to sound cynical!

by punkofnice 21 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • punkofnice

    I used to give ‘Public Talks’ from the rigid outlines from Borg HQ. I remember altering some talks from 45mins to 30mins.

    This was great because before we were given 30min scripts I could take licence and pick and choose which bits I felt were more ‘Christian’.

    Before my exit I gave ‘Resisting the Spirit of the World’ 30min with my own spin on true Christian love. An aposta-friend visited to listen and said it was the best talk he’d ever heard. (Boasting aside).

    I was thinking about talks and assemblies on the back of this.

    I can honestly say there are no talks I remember as being ‘memorable’ from any local congos or assemblies – They all seem to follow the same pattern:-

    • Intro = Twee illustration (Bloke asleep in boat drifting away from the bank to symbolise ‘spiritual weakness’ for example).
    • God says you must do more preaching or die.
    • Use loaded language*
    • Out of context scripture.
    • Use loaded language*
    • We are all happy because the FD$ say we are.
    • Use loaded language*
    • Do more in the ministry or die at Armageddon™ that’s coming soon (new updates include ‘subject to overlapping’)
    • Use loaded language*
    • More out of context scripture.
    • Use loaded language*
    • Worship only the FD$ who are higher than God.
    • Use loaded language*
    • Paul wrote = Out of context scripture.
    • Use loaded language*
    • Back to twee illustration. (EG. Tie your boat up by doing more), no independent thinking, obey and give exclusive worship only to the GB/FDS. Hate ‘apostates’ Use loaded language*
    • Walks off the podium.
    • (Rupture-ous applause)

    *LOADED LANGUAGE = the Truth, spiritually weak, happifying, apostate (for reaction), worldly, and many more words that trigger a reaction to JDubs.

    I may seem cynical but this is how it all seemed looking back.

    Did I really give those talks? Yes, I probably did.

    I turned up at one congo and there’d been a mix up over which of my talks I was giving. It was a different one to the one I’d prepared and timed.

    So, I gave the one they wanted without prep, just from memory and the ‘script’.

    No one noticed. Someone said it was the best talk they’d heard me give. At the time I thought it was Jar-Hoover’s oily spirit at work. Now I know it’s because the talks all follow the same cultish format!

  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    There are only 3 talks (out of 25 years worth) that I remember with any clarity but only because they were particularly significant and life changing for me.

    The first was a talk given by a young brother describing paradise, rolling hills, lush green meadows with streams, trees and deer etc. Typical WT image.

    I had just come back from a holiday in Fuerteventura which was completely barren with no trees or grass but the most stunningly beautiful sandy beaches. It was at that moment I realised that green meant rain and barren meant no rain which was my idea of paradise so 8 weeks later I had sold my house and all my possessions and set off with 14 suitcases a bike and 2 small kids to live there.

    I am a single mum so no husband to stop me and suffering deep depression. I did clear it with my doctor just to make sure I wasn't completely crazy. His advice was to keep taking my anti-depressants and come off them gradually once I got there. I ditched them at the airport.

    The second was an analogy of a broken pencil and how it compared to our lives. Without a point the pencil was useless and if there was no point to our lives then our lives were useless. That was the second to last talk I ever heard. The 3rd talk and last meeting I ever went to was the memorial 2009 which had absolutely no point to it because no-one sipped or nibbled.

  • punkofnice

    @Ameila Ashton. Interesting. I found that I remembered the illustrations but never really remembered what they were illustrating beyond a basic concept. They didn't inspire me to worhip or have a memorable 'spiritual' impact.

    I remember one about a Chicken or something that kept asking for help cultivating a field and no other animals helped. When the chicken did the harvest etc and made a cake with the bounty none of the other animals were invited to eat as they hadn't helped. I get the principle but for the life of me can't remember the application!

  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    Well the chicken might be Jesus, but I can't get any further than that.......sorry.

    PS. there are some pretty brilliant people visit here so I am sure there will be some-one to enlighten us.

  • punkofnice

    I hope so.........

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    When the chicken did the harvest etc and made a cake with the bounty none of the other animals were invited to eat as they hadn't helped. I get the principle but for the life of me can't remember the application!

    Go out witnessing or God will kill you.

  • punkofnice

    @BrokenPromises - Of course!! What was I thinking!

  • ballistic

    Amelia Ashton, do you still live there. Me and the mrs love Lanzarote, been this year.

  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    It's so obvious when you know

    Just proves how right the WTBTs are when they quote the ethiopian eunuch saying: “Really, how could I ever do so,(understand) unless someone guided me?”

  • Mary
    punkofnice said: I used to give ‘Public Talks' from the rigid outlines from Borg HQ. I remember altering some talks from 45mins to 30mins.

    And that right there demonstrates your bad attitude and lack of appreciation for all that de Slaaaaaabe Class did for you, and led you down the path to the dark side...........Just think of how un-happified it must have made Jehover's heart when you squeezed out 15 minutes of spiritual fodder food from those holy outlines! Why---you're not different than whats-his-name that reached out and touched the Ark of the Covenant to keep it from rolling off the cart!! Hang your head in shame!!!

    The only talk I really remember that I enjoyed at the ASSembly, was one that I was in, I kid you not. One of the sisters did the talk up and the setting was that we were already in the Noo System of things and my sister and I were supposed to have been born after the Big A and we were asking her questions about the Last Daze. Miraculously, all the NWTs seems to have survived and we used those during the talk. LOL!! While the talk was of course, based on pure bullshit, I have to admit that it was done far more effectively than the average talk.

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