all i discovered back then was i did not feeling like a FREAK!....i really started liking girls then, so found a way to make valentines and love notes like everyone else even though my parents were very clear to teacher i was to be sitting in the flukkin library for every holiday, birthday, you name it!!! i wanted cupcakes dammit!!! and you think i was going to sit there during the pledge of allegience??...hell no
early worst moment in life...5th grade....walking down the sidewalk hand in hand after school with my cute blond gf...of course mom drives by and pulls over and makes me get in and gives me hell for such "brazen conduct"...lol....trust me i did not laugh then....shit like that scars you at just about any age....but i still managed to have girlfriends all through high school
school was the best time of my life...i could be me at school...be almost normal....i was in band in 5th grade and thank god i got to go to summer band camp for a few years...omg the fun i had there!!!.....by the time i was in high school i had it down pat...i played guitar and would leave home with my guitar case and say i was going to play with a friend....of course my DISCO clothes were in the case and i would go out and boogie....often after seeing the late show of Rocky Horror Picture Show (like 30 times...it was a serious fun party!)
hell even when i was engaged to a hot jw babe (a bad girl...already reproved and dfd once...so i knew she was fun and the one for me!)....we spent more time in the back seat of my vw bus than we did driving it!!!! it felt so good to be so bad
yet all the while i had to put on my good son jw face too...i so wish i had been more true to myself as a teen and rebeled like hell...it is hard not to look back and wish i had developed lifelong friends with REAL NORMAL and LESS JUDGEMENTAL PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!
I have got to get over the bitterness, resentment....and even hatred for this religion and some of the people (elders) in it....most of my friends there were a blast...party animals, yet they have shunned me for years even before i was dfd...i am still getting used to seeing the shock and fear on old friends faces who actually turn away if i say hi or wave at them...not all are like that but probably 95%...............four of my new BEST FRIENDS were found right here on jwd and they are a lifeline............................oompa