4th grade. I moved to a new school right before the school year started. They didn't have room in the "normal" class, so I got assigned to the "specail needs" class (it took me years to figure this out!). It was like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
my double life started in third grade...how about you?
by oompa 15 Replies latest jw friends
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FifthOfNovember
I had no immediate family in the organization so living a double life was easy as pie!
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21stcenturywoman
I suppose I sort of lived a "double life". Once I started going to public school, I never talked about being a JW. Once I was in 6th grade, I was a Pioneer. Yes, a full-time Pioneer at 10 years old...how insane is that!? Anyway, I had a hard time adjusting (due to changing schools and the problems my parents were going through). The kids were not that nice to me. So I would curse them out during the school day, then after school I was forced to offer magazines in front of a strip mall located across the street from school. My mom and/or a close family friend would accompany me. My classmates would walk right by me. I was totally embarrassed. Fortunately I stopped pioneering soon after.
When I was in junior high and high school, I never talked about being a JW. If it ever came up, I would just say "my parents are" and change the subject. Two boys from my congregation went to the same junior high and high school as I did. They never had any real dirt on me, because I was actually a good kid (for the most part). I did however have a dirty mouth and would not hesitate to curse someone out. I think one of those JW boys heard me once, because at the next meeting he felt the need to "talk to me" about my behavior. What a joke! I wonder what happened to him. Thinking back, he seemed like a total closet case. The other JW kids at my high school (who went to different congregations) thought I was "bad association" because I would not join them to do the morning "text".
Some of my JW friends were already having sex when we were teenagers, but not me. At the time, I thought I was going to marry a nice JW at 18 or 19.
My "double life" story is actually kind of boring.
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No Room For George
Sometime during my elementary school years I started cussing, which is a terrible habit to get into and difficult to break out of. Got into the bad habit of saying nigga too. Its only been within the past 5 years or so I've been able to get out of both habits, although under duress I might slip under my breath and cuss. I've never done drugs although being honest with you, I've always been curious about weed. I had some worldly friends who dealt, and there's been times I've had things in my car that would have mandated a couple years in prison. Its was mostly situations where I'd run into dudes I was cool with and they'd ask me to hold something for them which is one of the stupidest things someone could ever do. I didn't really start messing with alcohol until my mid twenties. I just never had the urge to drink until then, and lately I'm afraid I'm drinking too much. I was talking to myself in the shower and I said to myself, "I can stop drinking whenever, its not like I need it." I kinda scared myself cuz I believe that kind of thinking is the sign of a functioning-yet-in-denial-alcoholic. I guess I justify it by saying that you need some kind of vice to help you maintain your sanity in this religion, because the hope of a paradise just doesn't cut it. Forgive me Jehovah, but I'm part of the Pepsi Generation, and I need to see something now.
I messed with girls throughout my 11th and 12th grade years in high school, and even for a while up until my mid twenties. 95% of the women I messed with were NOT JWs, nor affiliated with JWs in anyway, shape, or form. Looking back on it, I think I unconsciously did that so there wasn't any strings attached. Not to make excuses for my poor behavior, or come off like Bill Clinton, but I never actually had sex with any of them, unless you include oral sex, and fingering, dry humping and all that jazz. Something about a girl giving me head was just amazing, not just the pleasure of it, but just the very fact that this girl thinks that much of you to put her mouth on you in that fashion. I had some dime pieces too, which is crazy in retrospect. I'll never forget the first girl that did that, I didn't even know what she was doing. I was debating with her in the car like, "you sure you wanna do that? You might get a hair in your hair." Every girl I ever been with, they all said and asked the same thing, "Why are you so nervous? Relax....." Thrilling times, but very stressful knowing your name is becoming highly unlikely to end up in the Book of Life.
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scooterspank
I remember in middle school wrapping a red hair ribbon around an ivy plant and hiding it under my bed. That was my Christmas tree. I then wrapped up some of my own belongings and gave them as christmas presents to my friends at school. I wonder if they knew...
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scooterspank
I remember in middle school wrapping a red hair ribbon around an ivy plant and hiding it under my bed. That was my Christmas tree. I then wrapped up some of my own belongings and gave them as christmas presents to my friends at school. I wonder if they knew...