Why is sex suddenly pure and holy after you receive a marriage certificate?

by doubtful 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • aSphereisnotaCircle

    my mom would turn away in horror, cringe, and change the channel. She would be repulsed by it, and say that people are "such pigs" and that it's disgusting that they have sex with someone they're not married to.

    I knew JW women like that too, it is crazy. The wife of a couple we use to hang out with a lot would act all disgusted about anything other then the slightest of kisses. I always felt sorry for her husband, .............well her too actually.

    Instilling guilt, fear and shame makes people easier to control.

  • Terry

    In tribal societies, the male left everything he owned and had worked for all of his life to his first male offspring.

    Paternity had to be ironclad!

    The only way to insure this was strict rules about sex and regulating under what circumstances sex could transpire.

  • Morbidzbaby

    I had this discussion with my mother awhile back. She tried to give me the JW line about "the first marriage", when really, all Genesis says is Eve was fashioned from Adam's rib and God brought her to him. In other words, it was a "here ya go!" kind of thing. There was no legality involved. "Knowing" your mate was having intercourse. Only later on in the Hebrew scriptures did marriages get introduced (as business arrangements).

    I personally think all of this legality stuff is ridiculous. I would much rather live with a man who I consider my husband in my heart and be happy with him and not have a legally binding contract than sign a piece of paper to show everyone else "See??? We really DO love each other!!". In my opinion (now, after having been married and divorced) a legal contract and ceremony cheapens it.

    For instance, the man I love doesn't want to get married. Neither do I. But we are madly in love with each other and both have that feeling that "this is it". What more do I need? A piece of paper? A name change (again)? A huge expensive wedding? I don't need any of that. Neither does he. We did agree, however, that if the time comes that we want to be "official" to family and friends, we will do a handfasting/commitment ceremony. Nothing legal, just a gathering of friends and family to celebrate our love for each other. A celebration of love, family, friendship, and hearts joining together. While that is partially what a wedding is, in this case, there would be no legalities binding us together. We'd stay together because we wanted to. But any kind of ceremony is still strictly an "if we feel the need" type thing.

  • jam

    "Prudish JW women would always bash non-JW women who lived

    with A man before they were married and essentially labeled them

    as harlots".

    From the early Christian era(30 to 325 CE) marriage was thought of as

    primarily A private matter, with no uniform religious or other ceremony

    being required. How ever, bishop Ignatius of Antioch writing around

    110 CE or AD to bishop Polycarp of Smyrna exhorts, it becomes both

    men and women who marry, to form their union with the "Approval"

    of the bishop, that their marriage may be according to God, and

    not after their own lust.

    Until 1545 CE, Christian marriages in Europe were by mutual

    consent, declaration of intention to marry and upon the subsequent

    physical union of the parties. The couple would promise verbally

    to each other that they would be married to each other, the

    presence of A priest or witnessess was not required.

  • mrsjones5

    My husband and I lived together for a year before we married. When we decided to marry and went for our license we got a private license (in California there's public (anyone can look it up) and there's private (not availible for public viewing) because it was nobody's business but ours. We married cuz we wanted to not because someone told us to. I've never felt guilty about living with my husband before married. Marriage to me is sort of a protection for us. If something happens to either one of us neither oen of our wicked mothers will have any right to say anything about our care.

  • InOregon

    I am not a big fan of marriage, but legal marriage does offer protections that do not apply to unmarried couples no matter how long they have been together. These protections include:

    · joint parenting

    · joint adoption

    · status as next-of-kin for hospital visits and medical decisions where one partner is too ill to be competent

    · joint insurance policies for home, auto, and health

    · dissolution and divorce protections such as community property and child support

    · immigration and residency for partners from other countries

    · inheritance automatically in the absence of a will

    · joint leases with automatic renewal rights in the event one partner dies or leaves the house

    · inheritance of jointly-owned real and personal property through the right of survivorship (which avoids the time and expense and taxes in probate)

    · benefits such as annuities, pension plans, Social Security, and Medicare

    · spousal exemptions to property tax increases upon the death of one partner who is a co-owner of the home

    · veterans' discounts on medical care, education, and home loans

    · joint filing of tax returns

    · joint filing of customs claims when traveling

    · wrongful death benefits for a surviving partner and children

    · bereavement or sick leave to care for a partner or child

    · decision-making power with respect to whether a deceased partner will be cremated or not and where to bury him or her

    · crime victims' recovery benefits

    · judicial protections and evidentiary immunity

  • jam

    The state of California DO NOT recognize common law marriages.

    Very few states do recognize common law marriages.

  • sizemik

    Sex has always been dirty for me . . . I prefer it that way

  • WTWizard

    It is about the rules. They can't deny sex totally for everyone (though Jehovah can and does for selected individuals) or the human race would die out. So, they make a bunch of rules to attach guilt and shame to it. It also gives them something to ramble about for hours to waste people's time at the Kingdumb Hells and reading littera-trash.

    About all it accomplishes is it makes sure people are going to get stuck with something they might not like. You deprive someone the chance to try something like this out before committing. Which is almost certain to result in major problems--imagine buying a car without trying it first. You get it out on the highway, and it starts shaking before it reaches 40 MPH. Or, it takes forever to reach 55 MPH, wasting huge amounts of gas in the process. Or a stop from 55 MPH takes a mile. Or the steering is horrible at only 15 MPH--or it unexpectedly reaches 80 or 90 on a 35 MPH zone. Or any of a million nasties.

    Or, imagine investing in a stock without learning the intimates of the company. It looks like a good buy--it has been going up steadily for the past 4 or 5 years. Then you buy it, and it goes up 25% in one day just before the company gets busted for pulling off a major scam. At which point, it goes down 99% or more, eventually hitting zero. Or, it goes up steadily, but you only find out that they have a 300-million-ounce short position in silver once you own the stock. At which point, silver goes from $30 to $6,000 per ounce in one day--while the stock you bought goes to zero. Meanwhile, that silver mining stock you could have "cheated" with goes from 75 cents to $300 a share in 2 weeks. All because you were not allowed to dig in and find out the innards of the company before investing.

    With a car, or a stock, all you lose is money if you take a bath. In a marriage, if you take a bath, you can lose any future happiness. A spouse can have any of a number of incompatibilities. If you find that you are incompatible, you are going to take a bath that is worse than the bath you would take if you lose money in the stock market or get stuck with a crap jalopy.

  • ProdigalSon

    It is utterly absurd to make a lifetime commitment to someone when you have absolutely no idea if there is any sexual chemistry!

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