Why is sex suddenly pure and holy after you receive a marriage certificate?

by doubtful 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • doubtful

    ...but gross and detestable any time before marriage. If a Witness couple who are engaged to one another, decide to express their love toward each other by engaging in sexual intercourse just weeks or even days before they're officially married, they are considered to be loathsome, unclean people. The Witness girl would be seen by others in the hall as a dirty little whore...and the guy would just be thought of as a horny young man who couldn't keep it in his pants.

    Watchtower articles show dramatic pictures of young people filled with remorse and appear to be in anguish over the fact that they didn't "heed the faithful and discrete slave's warning to not be alone with a member of the opposite sex or to have a chaperone present at all outings with your fiance").

    Sisters in the congregation will make remarks about how "disgusting it is to go to bed with someone before you're married".

    Yet, any time after a couple is married, sex is considered to be a "beautiful expression of love", and a "precious gift from Jehovah". Sex between two unmarried persons and between a married couple is no different. Both involve thrusting one's body up against the other's, exchanging sexual fluids and slopping all around in them, sweating all over each other, and fondling, as well as moaning and sometimes shouts of ecstasy, all the while thinking of "unChristian desires of the flesh".

    So..in the minds of a judgemental close-minded typical JW or any other Christian fundamentalist, how does sex go from being a nasty, abhorrent, unclean thing one minute, to a holy and pure act of love and union in the next, simply because of a marriage certificate?

    That's always bothered me. When a mild sex scene would pop up on a PG-13 movie, my mom would turn away in horror, cringe, and change the channel. She would be repulsed by it, and say that people are "such pigs" and that it's disgusting that they have sex with someone they're not married to.

    She and other prudish JW women would always bash non-JW women who lived with a man before they were married and essentially labeled them as harlots.

    Any time a teenage JW girl is publicly reproved for fooling around, giving a BJ or a hand-job or something, they are secretly mocked, whispered about, and looked down on as unclean and inferior.

    Whenever JWs hear about something like the above, they all gasp and act horrified, as if the person has done the most repugnant thing imaginable. Yet, they consider these very same acts which they perform with their spouse to be a "sacred provision from Jehovah".

    Sex before marriage = evil, vile, repugnant, unclean, unholy, Satanic

    Sex after marriage = good, pure, wholesome, clean, holy, Divine

    It's so silly when you think about it.

  • Iamallcool

    If a sister have a sex with an elder before marriage and they confess the sins few years later, guess what happens? nothing will happen to them judically! I am serious!

  • WontLeave

    If you'd experienced sex from the perspective of a JW woman, you'd probably understand their negativity toward it. I've heard horror stories from sisters of their one-sided sex life and how their husbands' sick interpretation of "headship" and "submission" mean he's getting whatever he wants and she's getting squat. If your only experience with sex is selfishness, degradation, and usury, you might think it would be horrible to do it with anyone you don't absolutely have to. The very idea of wanting to have sex with a man is repulsive to them, because they don't want to have sex with their own husbands, but feel it's their duty. JW sex isn't for the women, but only for the men.

    When their little girl moves in with some "worldly" guy, all that's going on in JW mom's mind is voluntary prison rape. What kind of sicko is her daughter to want that?

  • Scully


    Really?? They charge exorbitant rates of interest for sexual activity?

  • Reality79

    I've yet to read anywhere in the bible that explains exactly WHY sex before marriage is "wrong".

  • zeroday*

    Because the great snow cone in the heavens says it's now ok...to do the bump...

  • yknot

    Sex is a 'privilege' of marriage in the post Jesus world....

    Thus it is the act of keeping God's standards to abstain prior to legal binding...that declares holy/pure versus unclean/wanton.....

    Here is my "logical" thoughts.....Men need to be held accountable with stardards that encourage them to be responsible so that society can funtion beyond the lone-wolf tendencies of all males. (um cities and civilizations get built this way) .......... and in times past prior to birth control, women's rights, and govt run welfare initiatives.....the whole knock a girl up and split created an even bigger burden on society.... another mouth to feed without benefit of male parent working to benefit tribe or society. I am certain too that some Daddy's Girl got done dirty by a guy.....options: Kill bastard or force his punk ass to marry her so she can be happy (shotgun wedding).... So by setting standards more kept those in previous times then those who violated them.......ditto for JWs today and many other Christians......(it also lessens STDs)

  • Scully

    The background on the "tradition" of sexual abstinence before marriage has to do with how marriages were arranged way back when. It was customary for the bride and groom to meet on the day of the wedding, at the wedding - so they would have been unable to engage in sexual activity prior to the wedding. There was no chance of pregnancy out of wedlock if the bride and groom were kept apart before the marriage took place.

    Also, there was the issue of the bride's virginity - it was a valuable commodity - and the father could exact a higher bride price for a virgin daughter than if she was not a virgin - in fact if she was not a virgin, she would bring shame on the family and likely nobody would take her as a wife.

    Women were property in those times - they were given in marriage to form alliances with other families, traded like cattle to whomever provided the father with the best advantages. Romantic love wasn't part of the equation in most cases. The girl's virginity was her father's property to trade and barter with, she had no say in it.

    I'm so glad those days are over for most women on the planet.

  • WontLeave


    Yeah. Not quite the word I meant, but I was in a rush. The closest I can really think of is "imposition", right now.

  • mamalove

    Everyone has an opinion....I feel it most definitely can be shared and be considered loving and sincere with people who are not married.

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