Cruel Hearted People

by EXMS 39 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    To explain his motives (not justify them), I'd go along with "Invite him so I can shun him in person."

    Hubby and received a second-class wedding invitation, too. Dance only, no reception. We didn't figure it out until we walked in on everyone at their tables enjoying their after-dinner stories. Hubby was hurt and I was offended. We left. I've heard since that this is a new trend to maximize gifts and reduce expense. Can't say that I like it.

    Still waiting for the thank you card, eight months later.

    Working through a wedding invitation from one of hubby's non-JW relatives is always a trial. (JW) hubby agonizes over what is acceptable for him to attend and what is not. I get mad at him. The primary reason for the wedding invite is to be witnesses to the vows. The rest is trappings. I've refused any suggestion on his part that we skip the wedding and go to the reception only. Turns out he can sit in a pew without dying and quietly abstain without causing a scene. What a big deal over nothing. Perhaps Witnesses make it a deal because there are so few ways to be genuinely "persecuted", otherwise knowing as pissing off non-JW relatives, here in North America.

    So good on you for attending the wedding ceremony. Whether he recognizes or not, you did good by him.

  • Was New Boy
    Was New Boy

    My wife left me 5 years ago when I left the Jehovah's Witnesses. She got remarried Saturday to one of "our" old Jehovah's Witness friends Jay . Jay's wife, Judy died 6 months ago of cancer. At her funeral, Jay came up to by X wife and told her they should "get together" some time soon. The had there first date the very NEXT day on Monday.

    Well, the got married yesterday April 14. It was a private ceremony with 11 people there. Including my DAed son and his family and my Daughter who just faded from the JWs ............They both believe that Jehovah's Witness NOT "the truth" in anyway. My son's choice was to make a stand against it, by DAing himself.......My Daughter decided to just fade away...They believe the SAME THINGS about this cult! ........It was a private wedding because of my son's stand against the cult.

    So today is the big wedding reception, over 200 people going ..........."everyone" is invited...JWs and non JWs...........everyone that is except my son and his family...........My daughter was not going, out of respect for her brother........as in "if my brother is not welcome..... I'm not going either"............But last night she called me, crying........she really wants to go to it and see all of her family and "old friends"...........I tolded her to "do what her heart tells her to do" and I bless her either way. Poor thing was crying her eyes out.

    So today when she is there with all of her old JWs "friends" .......and their worldy relatives.....I wonder if any of the non JWs will come up to her....... and ask her "Why her bother and his family were not invited?"..............I guess she would have to say "Because he has a different Faith then them now!"

    But wouldn't the the non Jehovah's Witnesses have different "Faiths".....too?

    How can anyone rationalize this Bull Shit.........in their right minds!

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free
    Cruel Hearted People

    Your title is appropriate. What happened here goes beyond the watchtower shunning policy. If they were supposed to shun you, they shouldn't have sent you an invitation in the first place. This was a deliberate attempt to publicly grind your face in the dirt, and maybe even get a gift in the process. Unfortunately, JWs are notorious for this kind of behaviour.

    W

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    I have absolutely no contact with my former aquaintances who are still active JW's.

    I do not desire to have any contact with my former aquaintances who are still active JW's.

    I have absolutely no contact with my former family members who are still active JW's.

    I do not desire to have any contact with my former family memberswho are still active JW's.

    Why not, you say?

    Because of the same crap you endured til the end.

    I reached the 'end' about 6 years ago as you also probably will.

    I have friends and family who are not contaminated by the demonic Watchtower Society.

    They treat me with unconditional love and respect.

    They are the kind of friends and family Jesus talked about.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    That is just wrong on so many levels.

    My heart breaks for you.

    And my family wants me to go back to meetings among THESE kinds of people?!

    NO WAY!

    I have no JW friends and could tell the ones I had were not real friends when I was still in.

    I refuse to discuss religion with JW family, too.

  • asleif_dufansdottir
    asleif_dufansdottir

    Why invite someone just to make them unwelcome?

    Well DUH. To get a gift and the snowshoes.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    jws have no social skills or basic comprehension of etiquette.

    I am sorry you went through this.

    I had a somewhat similar experience. I was asked to be in my sister's wedding. I was inactive but in good standing. One day I found out the bridesmaids had gone shopping as a group and bought their dresses, but I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, I was informed I was going to be escorted down the aisle by an usher (with the grandmothers) but couldn't be on the platform unless I agreed to meet with the elders.

    The reason for the meeting was to answer charges of smoking. Someone made up a story about seeing me smoking--a total lie. If I refused I could only be escorted with the mothers/grandmothers and sit in the audience. I said so be it, I'm NOT meeting w/the elders about this. I have nothing to say except it's not true.

    Then I got to the wedding and it started w/o me being escorted by an usher. Afterward I asked & was told the elders wouldn't let me be escorted with the other worldly family members b/c of the smoking.

    They didn't even tell me ahead of time! A-holes, every one of them.

  • thetrueone
    thetrueone

    Judgmental sanctimonious self righteous arrogance makes up for much of the JW character.

    Throw in a profusion of power playing by elders or ones that act within these parameters and you have

    people deemed not worthy of my association, hence I try avoid JWS whenever I can, there just simple nothing there.

    I can remember going to a JWS wedding after I walked away from the cult and being asked by JWS why I was there,

    even though I had a formal invitation, by the bride and groom. And no I wasn't seen as be apostate/opposer either .

    One has to remember that the WTS brain washes people into thinking they are specially righteous and above ordinary people,

    for those that have stepped out of this social aspiration, the ones still inside can only looked down onto people that have left.

    Its all apart of the indoctrination process that every JWS goes through.

    It is for this reason I make it my effort to stay away from JWs as much a possible, even though half of my family are still in.

  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard

    Sorry to here your story EXMS.

    What really surprises me though, is that yor "friend" knew you were going. He could have had the decency to have telephoned and explained the situation, thus saving you the long trip. That would have at the very least been the correct thing to do.

  • the_raisin
    the_raisin

    I feel for you. Pretty sure all people who have left the 'truth' receive this cruel treatment. I don't have a satisfying answer, just my guess: they like to feel superior. I know I did when I was in, the feeling of 'power' through the 'knowledge' that only we were bestowed upon was a high like no other. Obviously, these petty people don't deserve any of your time. You sound like an awesome person, someone who doesn't deserve this treatment.

    Wanted to say also that, like you pointed out in your story, their incredulous faces make it worth going to some events they host. When they realize that one is not disease-ridden or a drug addict, or a total homeless drug-addict, STD-carrying, hateful, jealous-of-them person, their faces show it, and their actions turn quite ugly.

    I wish you the best. Again, people like this? They don't deserve you.

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