At different stages of your life, what did you lack, that deprived you of fulfillment or completeness?

by miseryloveselders 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • miseryloveselders
    miseryloveselders

    I don't believe that there is such a thing as a perfect, or an ideal situation. Ideal is the more appropriate word to use, because the word itself denotes a conception, a remote possibility, not a reality. I'm asking you, in your lifetime, have you ever found complete fulfillment, or felt complete within yourself, and your accomplishments? I'll tell you what generated this question, it was a brief conversation i just had with an engineer I see occasionally. We always do small talk when we come across each other, whether it be in the elevator, or as today out in the rain. For instance, yesterday, on the elevator, I asked him how was his weekend, and what he did. He replied that he went to the movies. I can't recall what he watched, but I do remember that he went alone.

    That was interesting to me, because typically when I see a movie, I'm by myself. I don't make plans to go to movies, but rather if I'm in the area doing whatever, I might go see a flick to kill some time. Well today, during my lunch break, I took a walk, and its chilly, windy, and rainy, and it fits my mood. I just downloaded a beautiful mixtape and it played as the perfect soundtrack to this weather. I stopped at this huge office building and hung out briefly under its overhead roof, to pause, enjoy the air, and observe people. He came out of the building, which isn't surprising because his work takes him all throughout town. Here's how our conversation went.

    Him: What are you doing out here in the rain?

    Me: Just getting some air. The thermostat on our floor is set at hell, and I needed some air. I don't care if it was twenty below. I had to get out of there.

    Him: Why are you standing here of all places, in this weather? You don't work in this building too do you?

    Me: No my walk took me here, I'm still at the building up the street. Just killing time, besides I like this kind of weather. Feels good today. I have my umbrella, some good music, I'm feeling good today.

    Him: I gotcha. The only thing your missing is a woman though right? (with a grin on his face, that only other males recognize)

    Me: Ha ha, I guess you're right man. Can't have it all right? Ha ha

    Him: Have a good one man. (he went on his way)

    Truth be told, he's right, that is the one thing that I'm lacking right now. But you ever ponder that there's always something that you'll be lacking in life? Even when I was a kid, and there was the Constructicons who were a faction of the Decepticons, the bad guys in Transformers. There was six of them to collect, and if you could get all six, you could put them together to form the ultimate bad guy, Devestator. I never did get all six, only 3 or 4 if I remember correctly. Nowadays, you can buy a package that has all six of them together for like $70 at your nearest toy store. How come that wasn't available when I was a kid? Oh well, so it goes.

    You catch my drift though right? I'm asking you just out of curiosity, at different stages of your life, what do recall lacking that would have given you fulfillment, if even a false sense of it? Did you ever accomplish certain goals, only to be dissatisfied looking to create another goal of some sort to give you a sense of complete purpose?

  • sabastious
    sabastious
    Truth be told, he's right, that is the one thing that I'm lacking right now. But you ever ponder that there's always something that you'll be lacking in life?

    Identify what you lack, figure out if you want it and, in you do, then go get it!

    -Sab

  • miseryloveselders
    miseryloveselders

    Identify what you lack, figure out if you want it and, in you do, then go get it!

    -Sab

    Well, I know what I need to do, but I'm asking all of you, and you too Sab. At any point of your life, do you recall something that you really felt deprived of?

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW
    You catch my drift though right? I'm asking you just out of curiosity, at different stages of your life,
    what do recall lacking that would have given you fulfillment, if even a false sense of it? Did you ever accomplish certain goals,
    only to be dissatisfied looking to create another goal of some sort to give you a sense of complete purpose?.....MLE

    I can remember Lacking Food when I was a Kid..We were`nt poor..

    My mom did`nt like to Shop for Food or,Cook it..Feeding children didn`t seem necessary to her..

    Later in life I became a Chef..Now I`m a great cook..But..

    I haven`t figured out the KFC Recipe..

    ......................;-)...OUTLAW

  • flipper
    flipper

    Lacked a good wife for years. Kept stumbling upon the wrong woman for me. Found Mrs. Flipper over 5 years ago. Been happily in heaven since

  • unshackled
    unshackled

    Misery...I'd say I'm in similar stage of life right now. Have spent the last few years scraping the barrel of my born-in indoctrination. Changed my world view, faced the reality of my own mortality for the first time in life. Realized that I always have been waiting for my life to start.

    So now that I've scraped the barrel, I'm in the process of filling it back up. Not with what someone else wants to put in there, but for the first time what I want. So the questions...who do I want to be? What purpose and meaning am I going to give MY life? How can I make up for the lost time - especially when it comes to career and education.

    Does that fit what you're getting at?

    Edit: So I'd say I'm deprived of direction and certainty right now.

  • sabastious
    sabastious
    Well, I know what I need to do, but I'm asking all of you, and you too Sab. At any point of your life, do you recall something that you really felt deprived of?

    Right this minute I am depriving myself of the life I want to have. I want to be the provider, protector and emotional leader of my family. I have taken the reins, but the horse is more than I can handle right now. Just gotta keep getting back on I guess.

    I miss my family in the org very badly and I don't think they are coming back. I emailed them last week and they have ignored it. I still feel like I am amidst the rubble of the explosion that was my exit out of the Watchtower. I still have panic attacks at night, every night.

    I think the question for me would be, besides my wife and kid (which is no small potatoes), what am I not deprived of right now? This clean slate has been clean for too long!

    -Sab

  • jay88
    jay88

    I have to admit, If I had better parenting , I would probably not be here now. It doesn't matter what walk of life you come from good parenting is important

  • pirata
    pirata

    My thought: Achieving a goal gives a sense of achievement. Working towards a goal gives a sense of purpose.

    In my early 20s. I felt a need for companionship and felt something missing. After a number of years, I met a wonderful JW whom I married.

    Things get a bit complicated after that (at least for me). Ever since high-school, my life had gone at a hectic pace, and I didn't have much time to think about things. I was running with one foot on the witness treadmill, and the other on the "world's" treadmill. Buying a car, a condo, good job, reaching out, auxiliary pioneering, etc. Trying to do everything. Well things quieted down after I achieved alot of that and had gotten married and I had a bit more free time to think about things. Long story short, I discovered the wonder of "independent thinking" which led me to no longer believe I'm in the one true religion; but keep it to myself, for now.

    Right now, I'm not as concerned about making lots of money as I once was. I am of the opinion that if you have enough to cover the basics, all the shiny toys don't make you happier in the medium/long term.

    I realized lately that I have been starving intellectually. I didn't know how to think or have a reasoned opinion. I have been reading alot about history, politics, psychology, logic and reason, my beliefs, religions, a lot, as well as educating myself further. Now I know why those "liberal studies" I used to knock as a witness are so valuable.

    I don't really have many friends (stopped working too hard on JW friendships after realizing that it's all conditional and I'll just be dumped should they find out what I really think). But my marriage provides the companionship I need, and this board fills my growing need for self-expression.

    I think that constant growth is what keeps us going as humans.

  • trevor
    trevor

    Seeking satisfaction in life through goals is a never ending quest. There is no place to arrive at. You are already here. Realizing that each moment is your reality, is the secret to contentment.

    I live in a nice house now with a lovely wife but years ago I lived alone in a number of bed-sits planning to achieve success. Those dreamy, solitary, penniless days were some of the best of my life. It’s all a state of mind.


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