Yeah I was born in and the entire family is still a JW.
Has anyone left still believing it was the truth?
by FollowedMyHeart 57 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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IsaacJ22
Actually, I was in a similar place when I stopped going to meetings. I was very miserable and very alone. I had been judged at every turn and found inadequate. It wasn't just the local elders--the Society's literature had started printing the same stuff I disagreed with.
This is when I finally realized that the source of my misery was the WTS itself--or at least the slice of it that I know at my KH. I left, still thinking that the Society had (more or less) "the truth." But I was unable to take the Society's attitude and policies any longer. I still believed in their teachings, but I wasn't so sure about them anymore. I needed some time to clear my head, and even prayed that Jehovah help me figure out what to do. I continued avoiding holidays and even forms of entertainment that the Society said we should avoid for quite some time. All the while, I thought I might come back if the Society because less haughty in my view.
Several years passed before these chains began to break. The Witnesses actually pushed me out even faster by harassing me about it instead of leaving me alone to think. The heart of the problem was--is it me, or is it them?
As my doubts in the Society strengthened, so did my doubts about their teachings. I began exploring other viewpoints just as vigorously as I had checked into the Society's, which I found lacking. Then everything fell away, one piece at a time, until I lost all interest in finding another religion altogether.
I'm an atheist now. And much happier.
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troubledfiancee
I was never part of the WT religion, but I've become exposed to it from my fiancée and her family. She and about half of her extended family no longer attend meetings (and haven’t in 5+ years), but most of them tend to still believe it is "the truth". Their excuses for not attending meetings and peddling WT literature are that they are all being “selfish” or “worldly”.
I think that most people who “fade” for personal reasons, without a critical examination of the WT on their own terms, seem to still believe it is “the truth”. My experience with her and her family is that the indoctrination (especially if born-in) runs so deep that unless something sparks a desire for the real truth, people may very well go on for years or decades even, believing the indoctrination they received from the WTBTS.
If anyone has a magic ingredient that dispenses real truth, PM me, her and her family still hold on to the guilt instilled by the WT…
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DanaBug
I did. I was born-in, df'd at 18 for fornication, smoking, and drug use. I fully expected Armageddon to get here before I went back. I couldn't live up to it and I wanted out of my dad's controlling grip, so I decided to see what was out here and enjoy my life now. Six years later I found a random article on the BBC site written by a df'd man, which led me to Silent Lambs through the comments, which led me to jwfacts, freeminds, and JWN. That was so painful and such a relief at the same time. I had spent so long believing I was a bad person and God would destroy me. Never going back now! I'm freeeee!!
ETA: I envy those who woke up while still in too. At the very least I could have talked about some of these things with some of my family and maybe they would've seen what I see, I can't do that now.
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thetrueone
I also think the length one spends within the organization has something to do if and when they leave it.
To people are just enter into it its all new and fresh.
New promising relationships begin to develop and the newly found social environment at first appears really appealing .
All these things have a tendency to wane itself out over a long length of time and what your really left with are all the WTS doctrines
sitting in your lap, wondering how to comprehend them all.
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troubledfiancee
It seems that most XJWs have left because at one point in their JW life something happened that made them start to think something wasn't right with the religion.
As to what Followed said: I think that these are the people we’ll find on exJW threads, or who have spoken out, written books, etc. I think there is a large collection of faded exJWs like my fiancée's family who still believe they'll be struck dead at Armageddon because they’ve never tried to examine things and prefer to hold on to their beliefs, even if it means their own demise... And there probably won't be too many of those folks here...
It seems like the break-point is the term “cult”. If an exJW can say cult and WT in the same sentence, they can 1) admit they were in one, which sems like it can be embarrassing – Mostly, I think because of so many misconceptions about that term and misconceptions about cult members – and 2) Understand that it wasn’t the truth, and that they were following men, not God.
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ProdigalSon
I was disfellowshipped on made-up charges after I called out the PO for being an asshole. That was 1995... I tried to go back in 2002.....I switched congregations but it seemed some sort of letter went with me about being a troublemaker. After sitting there for nine months, the new PO says I have to start over after missing a book study. I told him that both he and his god were assholes and never went back. I figured I was bird food until I came across e-watchman in 2006 while researching the false-flag event of 911....this was all the beginning of waking up.... about a year later I found out that at our inner core we are indestructible spirits who temporarily inhabit one human body after the next .....and now I don't worry about a thing except constantly improving myself and how I view and treat others.
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Quendi
I was disfellowshipped and spent several years trying to get reinstated because I believed the WTS was "God's organization" and that I would perish at Armageddon if I didn't get reinstated. I no longer think that way. I finally cut ties for good and all in June 2010. There were several reasons for this. One, I was tired of the games my judicial committee played. They always had something they wanted me to work on, or would make petty criticisms about trivial matters. Two, I was discovering that life outside the organization was good. Three, I had fallen on hard times economically and emotonally and it was my non-Witness friends who helped me the most. I still have contact with a few Witnesses, but the overwhelming majority of the ones I have known for years have completely shunned me. Four, I began studying the Bible for myself and wound up rejecting many WTS teachings. There are some I still believe such as no Trinity, no immortal soul, and everlasting life on Earth, but most WTS doctrines and philosophies I have jettisoned.
Now I have no desire to even enter a Kingdom Hall again for any reason whatsoever. I drive by the Hall occasionally just to remind myself of what I have escaped and rejoice in my freedom. I still consider myself a Christian, but am very happy to no longer be one of Jehovah's Witnesses. After more than thirty years of association, I had made some deep friendships. I still miss those people, but I have realized that I must move forward. Making new friends and strengthening the ones I already had have enabled me to make progress. I think back on my life as a Witness as life spent in a gilded cage. It certainly looked pretty, but it was still a prison. I am much better off on the outside.
Quendi
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FollowedMyHeart
I first want to apologize for the length of this post. It's the last one I'm allowed until tomorrow and I want to get everyone in.
Thank you all for your comments! It's nice to know there are others who have experienced the same or similar things.
Found Sheep - Being a born-in and married right out of high school, I had no way of supporting myself and therefore no way of leaving on my own. A very good friend (now my husband) helped me get out. I moved in w/ him. The 1st yr out my guilt from hurting my mom, sisters, & ex-husband was terrible. I wanted to go back, thinking that would somehow fix things. My friend told me it wouldn't work. I would never be treated the same. It sounds like you experienced that. I'm glad you found your way out of the cult.
Was New Boy - "The key is listen to your heart my young friend." Thank you, WNB. I did and am happier than I've ever been!
Open mind - It's a terrible thing the WT does to people. I'm so glad your brother is out and well on his was to happiness!
Ilovebirthdays - "but didn't feel that way in my heart." Me, too. That was something I was always worried about while still in. I also was afraid of dying at Armageddon for a year or 2 after leaving. And although I did marry a JW, fortunately we did not have any kids.
WontLeave - Although not what my topic is about, I appreciate your thoughts.
LostGeneration - "Hopefully they mentally escape in time like you did." Yes, we hope they can all escape!
Ding - "They were worn out by the treadmill of meetings, field service, the constant feeling of unworthiness, guilt, etc." Looking back, I see I was feeling that way, too. I just couldn't grasp the idea that maybe it wasn't me that was wrong, but the WT. I'm glad I can see that now. "They've never really considered alternatives and they still battle the fears the WT instills with their teaching that if you leave "the truth" you end up in a life of depravity." Healing doesn't start until one can replace WT teachings w/ new ideas.
slimboyfat - Thanks, I'll do a search and see if I can find it.
HHG - Sorry to hear you've even lost your non-JW family! That is CRAZY!!!!
DagothUr - I agree that science is our only hope of learning truths.
thetrueone - As a born-in, I can attest to that! Those old beliefs have to be handled 1 at a time. Unless, of course, you're a rare exception, i.e. Nomad Soul
Nomad Soul - Glad you're feeling better, now!
GOrwell - I think a lot of people experience some sort of mental "breakage". I know I did. I don't think you're crazy. I know several people who don't want to live forever.
jiyuu2 - I admire these ones for their endurance and strong stomachs!
IsaacJ22 - Good to hear from you! What a journey! It's interesting that as soon as a tiny thread gets pulled, everything starts to unravel. I too, am more or less atheist (still have some questions to be answered). Glad you've found your way to happiness.
troubledfiancee - I appreciate your ideas. I think you make some very good points! I'd expound, but I'd just end up copying everything you said and saying, "I agree!" & if you get that magic ingredient, let me know. I have family I'd like to use it on!
DanaBug - I was df'd @ 17 for fornication. I was still at home and had to go to all the meetings. I was reinstated 6 mo later only to da 10 yrs after that. I, too, followed the freeminds, jwfacts, JWN path. "At the very least I could have talked about some of these things with some of my family and maybe they would've seen what I see, I can't do that now." I know what you mean. I have family I'd like to share things w/, too.
ProdigalSon - "I called out the PO for being an asshole" Some balls you've got there, PS! Good for you! It's true that, no matter where you go, there's a stigma that follows you. After marrying my ex, I moved to his town. I was a good JW, but the cong. never really accepted me. I just recently learned that a reg. pio. had been telling a publisher friend of mine that I was bad association! I hadn't done anything to merrit that, except for the few months I was out as a teen! A few explicatives come to mind regarding that elder's daughter, married to a MS, holier than thou, reg. pio. Ooooooo, can't you just feel the love!
Quendi - Good for you!!! " life spent in a gilded cage. It certainly looked pretty, but it was still a prison" My husband used that illustration to describe my situation in a letter he wrote to my mom shortly after I da'd. (I wonder if she ever read it?)
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Aussie Oz
Yes, I did.
I left in 1998 because i just did not want to be christian anymore. My relationship with "Jehovah' was dead and i just wanted out of being a hypocrite. The fallout was massive and the process lost me my wife. kids and home.
For a further 11 years i was an opologist to anyone that bad mouthed them. I believed i was wrong, JWs were right and i was going to die at armageddon cursing god.
My attitude was, leave me alone, i know it is the 'truth', just let me live my life.
That changed ayear ago.
oz