Is Satan actually a liar?

by Scooby-Doo 45 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • PublishingCult
    PublishingCult

    ”But I say to you that everyone whose eyes are turned on a woman with desire has had connection with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28 Bible in Basic English

    Jehovah was the ultimate douche bag. Let’s call him the Father of all douche bags.

    If the above is true, logic dictates that the principle would certainly apply to all other things. (and in this scripture we see the basis for what we now call “thought crimes”)

    Eve didn’t really have to literally eat the fruit. If she simply desired it, she would have been guilty of the sin just the same.

    Try telling another human being, “don’t think of the color yellow”. Immediately, that person WILL think of the color yellow, no matter what.

    So, when Jehrkovah tells Adam and Eve not to eat of the fruit, they must’ve thought a lot about eating the fruit.

    “Everyone whose eyes are turned on a fruit with desire has eaten the fruit in his heart.” Publishing Cult 5:28

    Douchovah Almighty set man up to fail from the beginning. They were damned if they ate, and they were damn if they only thought about eating.

    Jehovah owes me a fucking pet tiger

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    Would you really want to clean up after your tiger forever in 'paradise' with a bunch of assholes? If you do, I think you're a much better person than I am!

  • PublishingCult
    PublishingCult

    I would train my pet tiger to not only clean up his own poop, but to also eat assholes . . . but not in a gay way or anything

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    You're so dead at armageddon! >:0 I'm going to live in your house when you're dead and wear all you're clothes. ;D Forever, in, um, paradise.... ** pfffttt**

    Hope it's by a waterfall like I was promised. ;D

  • JuanMiguel
    JuanMiguel

    Terry's got a good point.

    Even if you are believer in the Bible, how often do animals talk in the narrative? Why is this account taken as historical when there’s not even similarity to the other “animal-talking” account of Balaam’s talking donkey?

    Genesis Narrative: Snake talks without any surprise from others and without any mention in narrative how this was accomplished (we’re not even told that Satan is behind this by the author); the snake questions God’s directive and instructions and then immediately makes a claim in the opposite direction—in other words, the snake is not asking an honest question but is setting the woman up; the snake gets punished and cursed for what it does, losing the ability to “stand.”

    The Talking Donkey Narrative: This narrative explains details regarding the donkey’s behavior, such as an angel with a sword standing in the road, and then that the Lord “opened the mouth of the donkey;” the donkey acts in reverential fear of God and his messenger and even attempts to save Balaam’s life; the donkey’s actions are praised by the angel who tells Balaam: “When the donkey saw me she turned away….you are the one I would have killed, though I would have spared her.”—Numbers 22:33.

    If the Genesis account is supposed to be historical report, it doesn’t read like one. It doesn’t explain the source of the snake’s speech nor why it would pose a question it didn’t really want the answer to. It also doesn’t explain the harsh curse it receives from God.

    The talking donkey narrative treats speech from an animal as a supernatural event, gives details as to what was going on in the spiritual realm beyond Balaam’s notice, and is presented as an example worthy of imitation.

    Even if you’re going to attribute literal historicity to the snake of Eden, one has to admit that it is far, far different from other Biblical narrative.

    To claim that a literal interpretation fits best also goes contrary to the way the early Christian community saw the Genesis account. Writing in the 300s A.D., Gregory Nazianzen explained that the narrative was symbolic, a lesson explaining humankind’s current predicament. He contrasts Adam with the vegetation of the garden, “immortal plants, by which is perhaps meant the divine conceptions,” with the “Tree of Knowledge” representing “contemplation, which only those who have reached maturity of habit may safely undertake.” Shame over their actions leads the human pair to cover up their bodies, which up to that point has been reflecting God’s image, and they receive animal skins to cover themselves instead, “the coarser flesh, both mortal and full of conflict.”—The New Jerusalem Bible: Saints Devotional Edition—“Understanding the Fall,” page 5, Doubleday.

    The literalism of the Watchtower regarding this part of the Bible is a modern invention which is rejected by both traditional theology as well as that governed by the historical-critical method.

    And it has already been established by others on this thread that both Eve in the narrative as well as Christ in the gospel account attribute deception in the actions of the “snake.” Add this to the fact that Satan is not referred to as a “devil” until New Testament theology, when Christ reveals this individual as responsible for most of the ills visited on humankind. Up until then the Bible has a somewhat obscure opinion of Satan, even portraying him in Job as a member of heavenly society, though already accusatory in nature.—Job 1:6-12; 2:1-6.

  • finallyfree!
    finallyfree!

    satan if he really existed was at least a good samaritan, he fed adam and eve with fruit, hell...he even offered jesus food when he was hungry! thats more than you can say for god, who lets millions of people starve to death each day.

    i vote for satan as ruler! at least he'd provide fruit and bread for starving humanity. lol!

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