Thanks for opening up with your tough story. As to the rape, it was long enough ago that you may have to let it go as far as elders and privileges go. Trying to come forward to interupt his privileges will just drag you through the mud even more. You are the victim of elders protecting themselves and their families, blaming the newbie sister for any problems. I hope that's evidence enough that God doesn't guide those people.
I imagine that your rapist has even fully convinced himself that the sex was consensual.
Watchtower is a huge "Men's Club." Even well-meaning elders who don't think they are showing favoritism tend to think that pretty women are to blame for attempting to look good or showing attention to men being redefined as flirting.
If the stalker were still a problem, you would definitely need a restraining order, but it sounds like that is in the past.
I used to be an elder and I realized I had my own baggage when I resigned, so I don't counsel people at all anymore, but it sounds like you need to deal with that rape and all your issues of trust and friendship. If you could find a way to go to a counselor about it, you could really open up. If thats financially impossible, look into the possibility of the state or county or local municipality offering programs. If you cannot or will not do that, you need a good girlfriend (not JW) to really open up to about all of this. At the very least, stick around this forum and you can find some friends who have a good understanding of what being a JW was like. You might also find ex-Jehovah's Witnesses at meetup.com. They might be in your area.
I have met women who were raped in their past and wouldn't tell their husbands about it. If you cannot tell the person who should be closest to you (and I am not suggesting you automatically just do that) then you need some kind of help from someone outside of your marriage. Strength to you.