by White Dove 43 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
You know, I don't think Jesus would filter out the unworthy people before offering encouragement.
First question was if I was being disciplined in any way. Took him a few seconds to figure out the nice way of asking if I was df'd.
Jesus would never have done that. He used no filter at all.
Wow, what a strange chain of events.
I hope this doesn't mess with your job situation, especially since you said you really like your boss.
JW's have had their personal bounderies invaded so much that they really dont have a concept as to what personal boundaries are. In the real world you dont go to a persons place of business at random times and bring up intensely personal subjects. Any normal person will tell you that is just crazy.
I absolutely agree with you, Sphere. Most JWs indeed have no clue what boundaries are. Sadly, many who exit the BOrg continue to be clueless as to what boundaries are.
For anyone who has no clue what boundaries are really about, I highly recommend this book (if you're not downright offended by anything to do with the Bible or a x-ian POV):
(and feel free to take it with a grain of salt...)
Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
V665
An elder and perhaps his wife came to see me today at work.
They were very nice and not hyper about getting me to attend the meetings with them.
I told them I used to be a JW but that it was years ago (5 but I didn't say that) and that now I have a spiritual path that suits me perfectly (Wicca, but I didn't say that, either).
They didn't ask if I'd been punished or anything. Maybe the other guy told them I said I wasn't df'd.
I graciously thanked them for coming in to see me but to please take me off their list.
Here's where maybe I made a mistake. Don't know: He asked for my last name after getting my first.
I gave it to him but held it in my hand until my condition of it not being spread around was verbally assured.
He assured me it wouldn't go out to anyone anywhere.
He gave me his name and number if sometime in the future I'd like to get into contact with them and start going, again.
I thanked them both and we said nice good byes.
I crumpled up the paper with his information on it and threw it in the garbage can.
Yes, personal boundaries are violated from babyhood to the grave in JW land.
It was one of my main weaknesses. I didn't know about personal questions being too personal or timing them right or anything like that, especially being raised by...well, who raised me (Sphere knows).
It's taken trial and error and really listening to my inner red alarm to know what's too much to ask someone.
Me? A good friend can ask me anything, with the right motive, of course.
I'm learning how to not reveal too much about me to the wrong people.
I'm one of those who is an open book and has no agenda so foolishly ass-u-me-s that no one else does, either.
Sometimes, it's prudent to keep that blasted book shut! LOL!
And...it's illegal to allow religion to mess up your relationship with your boss at work.
She's not that kind of boss.
It took me a year before I found out.
She is truly professional.
Hopefully, she stays that way.
Time will tell.
Yes, personal boundaries are violated from babyhood to the grave in JW land.
It was one of my main weaknesses. I didn't know about personal questions being too personal or timing them right or anything like that
I can relate to that. You got used to being asked personal questions by people who should have known better. Or did know better but asked them anyway.
I've learnt to say "why do you ask?". And if they do ask for something too personal (and not their bizness) I smile and avoid answering the question.
I've seen the worst arguments break out because one person feels entitled to info about and from another.
That person will actually answer the nosey person and all hell breaks loose.
I like how you spelled "bizness." :)
Yes, BP, we all got shamed into answering questions by "superiors" in the cong. even though we had been adults for years!
In short: learning to say NO and sticking to it is an important life skill.
I'll say that my upbringing was not exactly typical, even according to JW standards. I'm lucky to have grown up learning about boundaries along the way and I've only seen them reaffirmed after reading the book I previously mentioned. I suppose that I'm also cautious, private and very stubborn by nature. When the chips are down, I know how to keep my mouth shut. I hope that more and more XJWs will figure these things out eventually. Best wishes to all..
V665
I like how you spelled "bizness." :)
Thanks. Americanisms are starting to creep up on me.
I've always liked "Mind your own beeswax!"
It's rude and juvenile but fun.
