Is it just human nature to gossip or are JW's worse? Feelings are hurt....

by mamalove 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • nugget
    nugget

    It is like getting a slap in the face when you discover people have said unpleasant things behind your back. It is even harder when you know that you are not in a position to confront the person concerned. Goodness knows what people have been saying about us I'm sure I have helped while away many hours at the hall whilst people tutted over me.

    Ignorant people do not gain credibility by saying stupid things. Unfortunately JWs are taught to be judgemental and harsh particularly to people who are outside the group. it is their nature. Remember they are the happiest people and nothing makes them happier than bad mouthing others.

  • mamalove
    mamalove

    Thank you. I do feel better today. It totally ruined my night which had some fun potential. I feel like a walking zombie though from the lack of sleep!!

  • crazycate
    crazycate

    I'm so sorry you were hurt.

    Witnesses are taught that there is no "right" reason for someone to leave. Therefore, when someone leaves, they need to label them--figure out the reason.

    Were they stumbled? Do they know it's right, but they don't have the will power to live the life they know they should? Are they apostate and thus dangerous? People who leave are supposed to be miserable and their lives are supposed to go down the toilet. They either are already involved in wrongdoing or soon will be.

    I think a lot of the gossip is about trying to figure it out. But even though I understand some of the reasons people have said the things they have about me, it still hurts. And, again, I'm so sorry it happened to you.

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    People who live full and meaningful lives don't have time to gossip. They're too busy living. Gossiping is a way of distracting oneself from the empty, meaningless, worthlessness of one's own life. Considering how cloistered away JWs are from the real world, it's no wonder they have nothing better to do than gossip. You don't have to be df'd to be a victim of it. I've heard them gossip about elders, CO's, pioneers, and even their families and "best friends". Every JW is subject to slander from their "brothers and sisters". It's probably the single most defining characteristic of the JWs.

    W

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    I recall one gossip session that started in a car group while we were in field circus. It was about the PO's wife:

    Sister_a: Ruth P_______K was sooooooo spiritually weak last year! She never commented and her watchtower was never underlined! She's much stronger now! She uses 3 different coloured highlighters in her magazine!

    My_Ex: She's just doing that because she's trying to look righteous to the congregation! Did you see the way she holds the magazine? She's making sure everyone sees her psychadelic watchtower!

    Me: Why are you two looking at her magazine instead of your own?

    That's when I became the target.

    W

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67

    One day when I was shopping, I saw a sister who had just moved into our cong. and she was crying her eyes out.

    I asked if she was okay, she said No. I drove her home and we sat and she poured her heart out for almost 2 hours.

    At the end of it, she thanked me and then told me that the first sister she had met in our cong had WARNED her to stay away from me!!! This sister told her I was a stuck up bitch, amongst other things.

    I was in shock, as the sister who told her these things about me, didn't know anything about me! We had never hung around much, but I didn't think she hated me like that, either.

    I was so disappointed. First because of the gossip of the one sister and Second because the crying sister went along with it before she really got to know me.

    I think gossip and slander are much more rampant among the JW's than in regular society.

  • Crank!!!
    Crank!!!

    MamaLove I totaly know how you feel, when I was df'd (before I cam back then faded) I could not believe the stuff that was going around about me. Everything from me running an adult website to being a drug dealer, it was this stuff that truly made me realize that this wasnt god's org. just keep your head up, and remember that they are the ones that are so pathetic that they feel the need to make things up about other people!!!

  • sleepingbeauty
    sleepingbeauty

    JW's are more gossipy, critical than anyone else I know.

    Prior to being JW, it never occurred to me to criticize others for their flaws or to say anything about the things others said or did. No sooner had I become one, then I became incredibly critical, a terrible perfectionist & I did my very best to find out about everyones business. Not that I had to do very much digging or anything as the information was always readily available.

    Towards the end of my JW years though, I'd had enough of listening to it because ultimately I knew it meant that everything I said or did also became public knowledge & I just didnt like it so I kept my head down & my nose clean... :)

  • Reality79
    Reality79

    I've also been the target of uncalled for and nasty gossip countless times - a lot of it by people who didn't know me from a damn bucket of paint. That's why I told the elders there is no way in hell I'm engaging in field circus ever again while they allow this kind of evil to continue (but of course everything bad you say against them no matter how truthful and factual goes through one ear being the programmed androids they are) therefore they can count me out.

    The Jehovah Wickedness cult has to go once and for all. It should be totally disbanded and the top crooks thrown in jail indefinitely. Apart from the way they view the outside world, they don't even have love or respect for their own members. Yet they're so quick to knock on people's doors and quote their twisted scriptures about one of the identifying marks of the "true" religion being the "love" they have amongst themselves.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Gossip is common. Think of the magazines, "newpaper" rags, and TV talk shows. The fact is, it sells. People revel in other folk's problems.

    JWs are no different. I'm not sure they are really worse (esp when I compare them to a few people at work -- even some who are men, THAT'S RIGHT!). I think it's that they claim to behave BETTER than worldlys, esp all about the LOVE ONE ANOTHER, so when they don't behave nicely, they're not only gossipers, they're hypocrites. Of course, elders only gossip to their wives and to other elders. Does that count?

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