Sothern,
Jamie is right on both posts. I've been down those roads, and urge you to not follow. Don't bring children into the marriage until and unless both parents are on the same page for how they will raise them. Rearing children is stressful enough without having to deal with the WT pressure on every parental decision.
When children come, she will be pressed to go straight to the KH with them in tow--she can't deny the kids a moral, theocratic upbringing, or else they'll be destroyed on A-Day. And the same goes for her, if she doesn't raise them as good JWs. And the same (if not worse) for you, if you aren't supportive enough--i.e., baptized, attending every meeting, on service every Saturday, and "reaching out" for advancement in the congregation. She may want to quit working so she can "stay at home with the kids"--translation, take them out on weekday field service and build up those service hours. The kids can only have other JW kids as friends--you musn't let them get entangled with any "bad associations" like scouts, 4H, sports or clubs.
You need to be honest with each other, shore up the marriage bonds, make meaningful agreements, and respect each others' boundaries. It can't be one-sided, but with the WT pressure on your wife it will take a lot of effort to prevent that. But if you don't, can it really be a marriage partnership?
As for her birthday, follow her lead whether to be high-key or low-key about it, but "nothing" is a poor option even if she says that's what she wants (think "no-winscenario"). Look for ways to tell her she's special to you that don't exclaim"Happy Birthday", but don't ignore it completely either.
