Elder Just Told His Son I Am Sick Of This Religion !! And Reveals His Secret

by Hairyhegoat 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • Anne Marie 1925
    Anne Marie 1925

    I loved this article!! It is SO well written, and so clearly shows the all too common, but hardly EVER spoken of turmoil that goes on inside the hearts and minds and spirits of so many of the innocent members of the Watchtower that have come to realize that they can't just "go out in service more," or "study," or "pray" away those deep down feelings of "something is very wrong, here"!!

    I would beg of you for permission to copy and paste your article (names and identities ommitted, of course!!) for the ministry site I am on, and to share with any JW who I come across who is seeking (anonomously, of course) help for their own inner turmoil.

    Jehovah's Witnesses always think that their the only ones that feel the way your father expressed how he felt!! and they suffer in silence, feeling such shame and guilt and depression...and it's especially difficult for those like your father who are in the position of not only being the "spiritual head of the family," but in setting a "good example" to the congregation, and being one Kingdom Hall members can go to for "spiritual upbuiltment"!!

    Please say "Yes!" I have 12 members of my family in the Watchtower, and my younger brother was an elder for MANY years...I remember him quietly telling me one day when no one else was around to hear him, "I have no life. If a truck hit me tomorrow, it would be a relief." That made me so sad, because he doesn't know about Jehovah God's Plan of Salvation through Jesus Christ.


  • miseryloveselders

    "I have no life. If a truck hit me tomorrow, it would be a relief."

    That's crazy, I actually posted a similar thought one time. I understand that feeling all too well. Welcome to the board by the way.

  • Anne Marie 1925
    Anne Marie 1925

    This story may be just a "story," but it is most certainly "real" enough. I have met too many ex JW Elders, and a couple of ex JW Circuit Overseers, and even a few Bethel Members, and overall just heard too many stories from ex Elders first-hand to not know that this scenario is not just all too common...in fact, one of the ex JW Elders that I know of was so afraid that he'd be "found out" while he was still in the Watchtower that he'd be "caught" and disfellowshipped before he could try to reach his wife and family with the truth of the Watchtower, and to share with them the truth of God's own Word...

    Thankfully, he made it out with his marriage intact, though his wife had a terrible time with her husband's "sudden change," but, she explained fearfully, "though I should have left him, I stayed with him because I love him, and I want to understand what has come over him; I don't want to not be with my husband." Also, he was able to reach his married daughter and her husband, thereby freeing them, also.

  • Anne Marie 1925
    Anne Marie 1925

    Thanks, Misery!!

    I have had a few Elders tell me how very difficult and painful it can be to serve as an Elder, and I saw the slow decline in my little brother's normally happy and "silly" personality; he became so very somber and serious...

    I miss him so much. He used to laugh and joke around. And that breaks my heart.]

    Thanks for the "welcome"!! I haven't been here in quite some time!!


  • Juan Viejo2
    Juan Viejo2

    Anne Marie - PM me for the permissions.

  • Hairyhegoat

    Anne Marie 1925

    I am HHG and if you want to use this thread to help you and your family and there exit from the WT then you can use it. Please update us on progress



  • Juan Viejo2
    Juan Viejo2

    Sir82 and bigmouth --

    I can assure you that the article is legitimate. "Shadow Elder" emailed me and asked me if his son could submit an article for Ex-JW.com because he wanted to tell the story "about the day I got the nerve to tell him what I'd done. My son is not a kid - he will be 21 this year - and is very mature for his age. Of all of my sons, he has always been the most serious and dedicated about serving Jehovah. My other sons could care less one way or the other because they haven't been baptized, and I'm definitely not pushing them to make that commitment."

    I agreed to read the young man's draft. It was actually much longer and more detailed, so I asked him to focus on just one or two incidents, which he did (the coffee shop and the library computer). His father helped him to do the rough edit on the story. But it was the young man's words and point of view entirely. As the editor, I also did some minor work on the grammar and punctuation, and replaced a couple of words - just the usual thing an editor does.

    So I'm sorry if it doesn't pass your "smell test." Shadow Elder's article from 2009 was also ravaged by several JWN posters, but that is to be expected. That's what the members of this forum enjoy doing. Shadow managed to live with those critics and I'm sure his son will survive your comments and criticism as well. He even mentioned those comments in this story.

    I thought the young man did an admirable job describing how his father built up the nerve that morning in the coffee shop. I think the father's warning about what would happen to the family if his son told anyone was well placed and applicable. Remember, Shadow is trying desperately to keep his family together - so I think that would be something a father would tell his 21 year old son - although I'm sure the young man had already figured that out.

    Oh, and the "Gee" word? Yes, the WT considers that a curse word, but that doesn't mean it isn't used. Please note that he also used the word "freaking" as well in his version of the story. I think we can give him a pass on language. We are not the Governing Body.

    In any case, thanks for your comments and interest in the story. I'm sure that Shadow is very proud of his son's writing talents.


    Editor @ Ex-JW.com

  • Balsam

    Thanks for telling your story, I believe it.

    After my son died as a result of refusing blood transfusion for him after an auto accident I decided to leave but I did it on the sly in the beginning and talked to my other two sons. They and I drew very close during that time but still it was a struggle dealing with my children's Dad that was back in 2001. Today my sons and I have been out 10 years and my sons tell me so often how much they appreciate my courage in leaving their JW Dad and the religion when I did because it helped them to get free too. We were all disfellowshipped over a period of the next two years but you know it is ok, it gave us all a great release.

  • Juan Viejo2
    Juan Viejo2

    BTW - thanks HHGoat for bringing this article to the attention of JWN. I know that the young man who wrote it will be very happy to see that some of you really enjoyed it. Maybe he'll write more in the future as he finds his eventual path out of the Borg.

    Balsam - thank you as well. Your comment validates what I think we've all known for some time. There are a lot of elders and R&F JWs who are in, not because they want to be, but they give up their freedom just to keep their families together and close to each other.

    But we all know that's why the WT enforces the DF and DA shunning rules so heavily. They know that if they ever let up and really let Jehovah's Witnesses follow their own consciences in the matter of who they will associate with, probably 35 to 70% would head for the Kingdom Hall doors and never come back.


  • Leolaia

    Anyone have a link to the discussion of the original article on this website? I don't remember reading the piece before.

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