How often do disassociated people go back to the organization?

by SEL 25 Replies latest social relationships

  • Gayle

    There is the "revolving door" JWs. Some use the system that way, for some it's instability in their head. Some want to be back with family, in that case it is somewhat understandable.

    To disassociate is usually the individual's decision. Disfellowshipped is the JW judicial committee's decision. However, the organization now is twisting that in many cases and stating "so and so is no longer a JW," implying it that it was the former JWs decision. Individual's can often play the game for their personal advantage, but the JW organization is the one that manipulates more.

    I thought I read before about 'a third' of disfellowshipped go back and get reinstated. Perhaps someone here can find a source in print.

    This 'friend' was a conniver, a manipulator for his benefit. Sometimes, a male will want to get this girl they're interested in to marry, etc. with motive she'll will learn to be submissive to him now. As some JW men often like that teaching the most that they are "head of the house." Thus, he hopefully gains control.

    I would only hope the non-JW girl can research about the WT organization. You seemed to know her enough to think she would not ever convert. Maybe she has a 'gut' feeling about it, however, she may need more than that, and need for actual knowledge and facts to reinforce her gut feeling. Can you suggest this site to her?

  • boyzone

    I've met several x JW's who are still mentally "in". They haven't bothered to do any research on the Society and are still frightened of churches/armageddon/demons/birthdays etc. In my experience these are the ones that are more likely to return regardless if they're d'fd or da'd.

  • mamalove

    Most are smart enough not to.

  • pirata

    'Elders disfellowship 50,000 to 60,000 Witnesses around the world each year, Brown said. '

    'Each year, Brown said, 30,000 to 40,000 are reinstated, having "come back to their spiritual senses."'

  • J. Hofer
    J. Hofer

    many of those who leave / are kicked out because of standard "wrongdoing" are still believing every single word the watchtower has ever said (which technically is impossible due to the frequent revisions). someone who leaves because of doctrinal differences or someone with an internet connection is less prone to go back though.

  • Ding

    I'm sure a lot of people who DA still agree with most or all of the teachings.

    They just feel they can't live up to the requirements and quit trying.

    Or they leave because of the hypocrisy -- they agree with the teachings but are upset with elders and other leaders who don't live up to what they teach.

    It seems to me that these are the DAd people who are most likely to change their minds and try to get reinstated at some point.

  • SEL


    I actually do not know this girl well at all. I wish I did, because I am in a somewhat similar situation. I know the guy better, and I only say that she'll never convert because she's not a Christian to begin with. It's ridiculous to tell someone what Jesus wants and doesn't want when they do not believe in Jesus in the first place. He's perfectly polite and a nice guy, but he actually cannot understand why his girlfriend won't take up his views.

    One of the saddest, funniest things I ever saw- a conversation between this DA'd guy and his childhood friend who got reinstated, the latter telling the former that other religions do exist, so it shouldn't be that difficult to imagine someone not believing in "the truth".

  • keyser soze
    keyser soze

    I think it's probably very rare. All the JWs I know who DA'd(and I know of quite a few) have never set foot in a kingdom hall again. I think it takes quite a disdain for the religion to take that step.

  • Quendi

    I knew one man who disassociated himself who did return. I think he did so for the sake of his wife. Both of them were elderly and had been married for more than 40 years when he left. Upon reinstatement he seemed to be happy and then both he and his wife died a few years later.

    During the years I pursued reinstatement, my meetings with the judicial committee always turned into arguments. At one point I told them, "I understand that only 30% of those who are disfellowshipped ever return to the organization. As a former schoolteacher, I can tell you that ranks as a failing grade in anybody's book. How do you explain this? If this disfellowshipping arrangement is from God, why is the recovery rate so poor?" As the Mastercard ad campaign puts it, the looks of their faces and the silence which greeted my question were priceless!

  • yknot

    He has no reason to not believe.

    If you detect he has strong feelings for this gal, then ya that is a reasonable expected outcome.

    Maybe just mail him a greeting card explaining anonymously your concerns and this site's addy....

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