Question for elders and ex elders and anyone else who might know

by ldrnomo 11 Replies latest jw experiences

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  ldrnomo

  An older man on the elder body I was on, once said at an elders meeting, just prior to a CO visit:

  "brothers we want to be careful not to bring up any dirty laundry with bro...CO when he comes to visit" I didn't say anything at the time because I was duly doing my duty as a non thinking JW or at least non speaking and I also knew I was outnumbered.

  Even though I put this in quotes, I really don't remember exactly what he said but the general idea is there.

  So the question is, has anyone else had a similar experience?

  Perhaps some may have some thoughts on the many shows that go on in a kingdom hall.
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  Never_Enough

  My experience has been very similar. I'd say it's a fairly common sentiment, although most PO's/CoBE's aren't so blunt as to spell it out. There's an understanding that when "the boss" comes to visit, t's are crossed and i's dotted and there's no room for dissenters.

  Of course, there's always a group of disgruntled/exasperated ones who insinuate their way into the CO's schedule, "airing dirty laundry" before meetings, during meals and in FS - I've known many in this group. When the body finds out, there's always some form of retribution.

  Jehovah's Spirit-Directed Organization, indeed!
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  nugget

  Our CO visits were appalling someone was unhappy with my husbands appointment as service overseer thinking he was more deserving. He told my hisband that when the CO came he was going to tell him we were a bad example and he would get him removed from the role. It was always an opportunity for everyone to undermine everyone else. It disgusted me then and does still. silly squabbling children they should have their heads bumped together as an example to the others.
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  wannaexit

  In the pecking order, the CO is above the BOE. When the big chief visits every elder is on their best behaviour. I've seen this over and over in the 40+ years of association.
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  OnTheWayOut

  I was appointed at a congregation that was all about full disclosure. If a problem existed, they told the C.O. about it and told him anything they had done and asked him for any advice they had.

  I moved to another state and was re-apointed to a different attitude on the BOE. Any problem that existed, the elders discussed together sometime before the C.O. visited and decided what to do about the problem. As long as they decided anything or did anything before the C.O. visit, when the C.O. asked if there were any problems, the BOE would say "NO." If the C.O. was aware of the problems (or if they existed from his last visit) and asked about them, the BOE would say it was addressed and already things are being done about it.

  To me, that was the same thing- hiding the dirty laundry.
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  flipper

  LDRNOMO- As a ministerial servant I had a good buddy who was an elder and he told me that aLWAYS when the C.O. came to visit - ALL the elders were on their best behavior. They would make sure that all of a sudden- shepherding calls would be done that had been put off for months just so they could tell the C.O. " yes so and so was just called on ". Paperwork gets all caught up , congregation financial records, etc. And anybody causing trouble. i.e. pedophiles, adulterers , JC cases , other " problems " are put on the backburner until AFTER the C.O.'s visit so as to give a " good " appearance. Of course- that's what the whole organization is about ANYWAY- giving a " good " outward appearance. They learn it from the top down
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  life is to short

  I as an elder's will never forget when I discovered there were three child molesters in the hall. It was just a couple of weeks before the CO was to come. So Saturday morning he was supposed to work with the CoBE and before they left I pulled him over and told him how come the child molesters were going out in service and would my husband an elder have to work with them if the were assigned to our car group.

  I told him that I had been abused as a child it made me sick to think of one of those men sitting in my car.

  I totally blindsided the CO. My husband said he thought the CO had known but it was me a stupid elders wife who let the cat out of the bag.

  I hindsight I totally pissed off the body of elders off truly I did not know that they did not want to CO to know. The CO did nothing about it and told me I just needed to get a handle on my problems with former child molesters and yes my husband as an elder would HAVE TO WORK with them.

  But the PO also got talked to about it I know for a fact.

  All of it is so stupid.

  LITS
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  DesirousOfChange

  "brothers we want to be careful not to bring up any dirty laundry with bro...CO when he comes to visit"

  In recent years, seems to me that the COs would rather not be drawn into a problem. Much easier if everyone smiles big and says "everything is GREAT" and even if something is brought to their attention, they would rather ignore it, let the local yokels try to handle it and hope it will go away before their 6 month return. But I think that is because there are LOTS of problems to be resolved in any circuit. Plus, they sure do not want to stir the s&%t with any of the good ole boys in the circuit that control handling their accommodations, personal expenses or those with the generous green handshakes. Not many willing to take a stand on anything for principle anymore where it might rock their Gravy Train. Most are middle aged and what other skills do they possess?
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  punkofnice

  In all my years I only met a couple of 'nice' CO's. The rest were very arrogant power trippers.

  Our CoBE would do all the 'boasting' to the CO as our CoBR also did CO work. So you can imagine our CoBE was also a power tripper who had his favourite suck ups with him. I was not a suck up Elder.........always the rebel!!

  Our CoBE was a very sneering person who enjoyed belittling people from the platform. At the time I decided to 'wait on Jehovah'...............big mistake................'Jehovah' is just the 'brand name' for a watchtower product and isn't god at all!!

  So in answer to the question........I was never told to keep 'schtumn' as our overbearing CoBE dealt with everything.
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  drewcoul

  The CO had the elders in one congregation I attended apologize from the platform to the congregation for their mishandling of situations and not showing love to the brothers and sisters. It was a large congregation with only two elders at the time. One was a special pioneer and the other was in his early 30's at the time. The entire body of elders had been removed about 3 years prior to this. I guess you can only hide things for so long, eventually the truth comes out.