Lying about divorce reason to be allowed to re-marry

by Big Softie 41 Replies latest jw experiences

  • slimboyfat

    peacefulpete's responses are good and generous. But are there children involved? You should make sure there won't be negative consequences for yourself before you do this favour for your ex-wife.

  • ProdigalSon

    What it seems like, is that some JW's think that they can DO whatever they want, but if they are SKILLFUL and DECEITFUL enough to "get over" on the Watchtower, they'll still manage to fall under the protection of the corporate umbrella on Judgment Day before God!

  • carla

    This is quite common from my understanding. I have been reading the boards for many years and I can't keep count how many jw's ask their spouse to lie to the elders so they can be 'scripturally free' to remarry. My advice would be to not write that letter or admit to it at any point. Why should you have your reputation further trashed by jw's? Not only that she could use that against you with the kids to attempt to damage your relationship with them.

    Don't play by their rules. You are under no obligation morally or otherwise to make sure your ex can remarry into the cult.

    all the best,

    carla (also a ubm (unbelieving mate)

  • poppers

    I think Black Sheep and FlyingHighNow have nailed this squarely. She made her bed in this religion, and she now must sleep in it. Wanting you to "buy her a new mattress" is pretty ballsy.

  • donnye

    If the stress of her pressurizing you to lie to the elders is driving you nuts, tell her that you are going to write to her elders about her bizarre request, and will send a copy to Bethel. Keep a copy for the courts too - you may need it to prove her 'unreasonable behaviour'. Probably she will back off and not bother you again.

  • tenyearsafter

    Tell her you won't lie on this matter because you are concerned about her survival at Armageddon...and if she got re-married based on your lie for her, she would be accountable to God for her adultery and ultimately lose her chance for everlasting life!

  • GLTirebiter

    Another possible consequence: if you do lie, what stops that admission from reaching the gossip mill? If you make a false admission of adultery for her to pass on to the elders, how will you defend yourself if the word leaks out? I think it wiser to protect and defend your reputation from the local gossips, not assist them.

  • Former

    We are speaking about an organization which was founded upon dishonesty. No person of conscience ought to be affiliated with it, much less lie for it.

    It is up to your wife to remove herself from an oppressive atmosphere rather than drag others down with her.

  • out4good3

    Even if he did "do the deed", if they are divorces what business is it of hers? I wouldn't tell them anything and if asked I would tell them to go pound sand.

    If she wants to live under those BS rules, she should suffer the consequences.

  • Giordano

    Match her deception with one of your own, for the sake of the children.

    If you do the lie and she gets remarried quickly then you have a JW man in the house laying down the rules. On the other hand if you agree to do that for her make sure she gives you a letter (do it in front of a notary). Your letter as you were asked. Her letter confessing that it wasn't true. She gets to present your letter now so she can get on with her life. Her confession goes into your S.D.Box and will be presented to the elders if she and/or new husband insist that the children become JWs or try's to prevent them from getting Blood if they need it, School sports, education etc. etc.

    What goes around..........................

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