Hubby told Elders I thought JWs were brainwashed...

by cognac 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • cognac

    Yes, ML. I had a long discussion about it with him. Honestly, I think he goes back and forth about his feelings about us in this relationship. I think he wants out so he can be with the person he can live forever with but at the same time he has a certain amount of love and comfort with me. I think he's confused. So am I...

  • Hadit

    I'm so sorry for what you are going through! It is such a waste of life and I can totatlly empathize. I tried to talk to my husband yesterday because I too decided I cannot and will not live like this. I told him knowledge is power and he tells me "knowledge is dangerous." He said that I read lies and how do I know what I'm reading is true? I said because I have a brain and I can think for myself and SEE what is going on around me. Then he asks me "DID GOD TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE THE TRUTH???" It's a losing battle. It's just hard to shut up in your own house. Then I asked him if he knows about the secret elders book and he said there is no such thing and anything I've seen is a fake and a lie. I said fine. Ask the elders yourself.

    I then said "ask the Elders if I can photocopy and coil bind their book for them."

    Pretty much thinking they will be trying to disfellowship me. I just cant keep quiet anymore and watch my son get controlled by a publishing company. They are sick, vile and evil. I actually keep hearing Moshe's words from one of his posts saying that if everyone spoke out the truth would come out much faster, or something to that effect. He is right. I'm just afraid of losing my son to this cult but there comes a time when we do have to make a stand and make a choice. As hard as that may be because there are consequences.

    I hope you can figure things out! I'm thinking of you. Life is far too short to waste!


  • jamiebowers

    Make your plan, and stay your course. Once the trust is broken in a marriage, it's difficult to stay in the relationship. Whatever your husband's motivations for talking to the elders about you, all the signs of an unhealthy marriage are there. Just get ready for a custody battle, and trust no one who is a jw.

  • satinka

    Hi Cognac,

    I'm so sorry to hear things are tough between you and your hubby right now.

    I agree with some of the other posters that your child's health and well-being is the priority here. Mental and emotional health. JW-ville churns out babies like an assembly-line. More indoctrinated-from-birth members. So sad.

    Perhaps your hubby ratted out on you to score "loyalty" points with the elders..?

    Where is his loyalty to his wife?

    Oh yeah, I forgot, he's brainwashed...WT first. So sad.

    My suggestion would be to take care of yourself and your child first, cognac



  • amicus

    I dislike that term "brainwashed".

    I washed my brain of the WTBTS nonsense.

    We live in a world of those who try to mislead us.

    Old tricks die hard?

    History repeats itself?

    After all the rage, I always come back to me...damn, I hate being fooled!

    I hate it because it only works if I fool myself.

  • isaacaustin

    Cognac, check your pm.

  • hotchocolate

    Cognac, I haven't had a chance to get on here much lately, and tonight I just specifically searched for you cause I wondered how you were doing. I was in the same situation you are now. In the end, for people like us who refuse to live hypocritically, you won't have much of a choice. It was tough, but definitely worth it. Don't let your child grow up that way. x

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    A marriage is so private that I don't see the advice of outsiders. Still, a child changes my priorities. What if he has custody and in a delay to reach you or to get a court order, valuable time is lost in administration of a blood transfusion. I'd see a qualified family lawyer, not a general lawyer, to go through your options. Also, the Witness involvement will color any divorce. You should know the details before making any moves.

    I know many Jewish/Christian couples. They work b/c neither one has missionary zeal towards the other. I've know many such couples date successfully but the expectations of marriage and raising children, makes them change their mind. It must be very hard to constantly stand up to a religion that you want no part of in your life. It attacks during private, intimate time. Much deeper than an occasional knock on the door.

  • flipper

    COGNAC- Just wanted you to know my wife and I are thinking of you. I experienced my first wife a JW ( we were married 19 years ) ratting me out to elders about our personal life dealing with our own sexual practices IN our marriage. She did it WITHOUT my knowledge. AS Jamiebowers said when trust is lost it kills love in a marriage . It's your decision on how you are going to deal with this and what you decide, but please know we will be here to support you as a friend. PM me or call if you'd like to chat. I'll try calling as well in a couple days. Hang in there

  • cameo-d

    Damn Cognac. I thought you were living a happy life now, with the new baby and school and a 'reformed' hubby. So sorry to hear that's not the case. Damn. Just damn. He ratted on you to the elders before, didn't he? I thought you had made some progress educating him to the truth about the truth and exposing him to the website here and all.

    In the end, I guess we can only take responsibility for ourselves. And of course the ones we have brought into this world while they are too young to make their own decisions.

    You did lead the horse to water. He didn't want to drink. That's all you can do now. I wish you strength and victory.

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