A deep deep hurt

by sooner7nc 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • sooner7nc

    When I was a couple of months old my father was put into prison in Seagoville, Texas. The Watchtower took him away from me for almost 2 years and destroyed almost all hope that he and I would ever have a normal relationship. I say this because I believe the bond that we should have formed when I was a baby was severed forever and that's the damnable shame of it all. Not only that, but my mother was only 16 at the time. What the hell is a 16 year old girl with a two month old supposed to do? Did the f***ing Watchtower support us? Oh No, gotta keep sending your money to Brooklyn!

    What happened to us after he left you ask? We survived but we suffered. My dear mother did what she had to do to keep me fed and sheltered. She told me once that she fed me old ketchup packets because there was nothing else to eat. I'm crying as I think of what she had to endure; all of that pain and cold that she went through had to be torturous.

    So, the only thing that I can do is try to be the best Dad I can and try to find some way of getting rid of the rage that's always there.

    Thanks for reading this.


  • MrFreeze

    Not much one can say in reply to that except stay strong and be the best dad you possibly can. You can at least try to make up for what your Father failed to give you. Stay strong.

  • sooner7nc

    Thanks MrF.

  • Simon
    So, the only thing that I can do is try to be the best Dad I can and try to find some way of getting rid of the rage that's always there.

    It brings the greatest reward and helps with the rage.

    Hope 2011 brings you a brighter future.

  • clarity

    Sooner7nc, so glad you came here.

    Sad, sad words, and you know what... who knew!

    This WT society has a way of boosting itself up on the backs of their followers.

    "Look at us ... we are so powerful ... our followers will give even their lives, for our truth"!!!

    Honestly, when I learned that young men were being sent to prison for being consciencious objectors and having no recourse to work in hospitals etc, I had no idea of the grief and hurt this was causing. We were given the idea that it was so righteous, and that gods people were so happy to 'prove satan wrong'! OMG Jahs happy people! Such crap!

    So sorry that my brain was so thoroughly washed years ago! Don't you wish you could sue the pants off 'em!

    Take care of yourself and your precious family.


  • Satanus

    While realizing when and why the pain originated doesn't remove it, it at least takes away much of it power to sabotage. That has brought you a long ways to being a better person. Pain that is hidden has the more power to do damage.


  • leavingwt

    Strength to you. I'm confident that you'll be an outstanding Dad.

  • DaCheech


  • snowbird

    Love to you and Crapola, Sooner.

    You turned out to be a great, great person!


  • VIII

    The WTS has ruined and divided so many families. Coming to this forum and letting it out is very helpful. I'm sure you'll be an outstanding father. Letting it out is always helpful. Remembering you are not alone and we all understand and are there for you is also very healing. Hugs.

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