Don't post too often but need some support (page 2)

Alwayshere

THOSE WHO RUN THAT ORGANIZATION ARE CRUEL.

YOU WILL GET A LOT OF SUPPORT AND GOOD ADVICE HERE.

LISTEN TO MOUTHY.

.

Lion Cask

Nothing quite like being alone at Christmas - reminiscent of that line in You never give me your money - "Oh that magic feeling, nowhere to go ..."

Chin up, girl. You're not alone. Take a cue from that pretty blue butterfly on your right shoulder and spread your wings a little. Get out to the Lime Ridge Mall or Eastgate Square, grab a big coffee at Timmy's, find a nice bench and watch the world of madness go by. It'll cheer you up.

By the way, Merry Christmas.

LC

jgnat

I'm a former single parent. I can relate to those feelings. I talked my own daughter through the Christmas blues a couple years back. I pretty well told her she couldn't cancel Christmas because there are a whole load of ex-Witnesses who fought hard for the right. I asked her instead of focusing on all the "should-do"'s to drop all that and concentrate on all the "want-to" (She is a very task-oriented girl. I have no idea where she gets that from). She took my advice and Christmases are much more fun around her house.

Your issue is a little different The "festivities" of the season are showing in sharp relief how lonely your life is right now. You'd be surprised how many feel like you do this time of year. For myself, the way out is to get outward, future focused. No need to buy in to the hyped, cosumer-oriented hoo-ha. What new traditions would you like to start with your children? Children love traditions, and will insist that you do them every year. This also gives them a unique family identity that they will treasure. Here are some low-cost options.

Bake sugar cookies and hang them on the tree.
Give everyone a disposable camera, collect them at the end of the visit, and post the digitized results.
Pick a local charity to support hands-on, like ladling turkey dinner. You will be helping people worse off than you are.
My daughter makes a gingerbread house with her daughter every year. She is a purist, baking the gingerbread from scratch.

I hope this helps. If you feel a little late to implement much this year, remember that Christmas decorations are steeply discounted soon. You can pick up a few things for next year.

As for general loneliness, I wonder if a few hobbies and charities might be more helpful than dating right now. You are still figuring out who you are, what you like and don't like. You don't want to end up with another guy who is a poor fit. Find out what your fun is. (Mine is all introverted, because that is who I am at heart. I like reading, gardening, painting. I've learned to like group exercise classes, like Zumba).

jgnat

Oh, boys! How about going out tobogganing, skating, or a Wii tournament?

compound complex

Hi Jen,

Welcome back! You've received some helpful coping tools, and I'm benefiting as I read encouragement offered you. We were trained as JWs to take an interest in people; that much is good. Great new ways you can help people have been suggested here.

Alone myself for many years, I miss and long for all of the above but have begun making a new life for myself. A recent but difficult decision has been to attend the KH on occasion to see my family, all of whom followed me into the "Truth." Such a move is not for all of us here, by any means. A number of factors led to my doing so, and I discovered, upon my return, that my JW friends of decades need help and encouragement to cope with the organization's failings. They don't know that's the cause of their problems but I do. I hope to give subtle insight into how they might deal with their depressing circumstances.

Anyway, as you and I and countless others spend the holidays alone, let's remember support and love is just a click away on the old pc!

Love,

CoCo

TweetieBird

I don't know what part of the country you are in but maybe there are some on this board nearby and you can meet up with them on Saturday. If you are anywhere near me you're welcome to come over for breakfast.

sleepingbeauty

Hi Jen

Ive sent you a PM...

If you'd like to join me on facebook your sure welcome to add me :)

I also got out of the JW's Oct 2009 having been in 22 years, I have found it hard to make friends too... Things were made easier though when I met up with a bunch of XJW's from the http://www.exjw-reunited.com/ website.. We all met up (kids & all) in Brighton a few weeks ago for our very own Xmas feast... (Many of them are members on this site too, Cantleave, Nugget, Bigmac, hairhegoat etc), your more than welcome to join us on our next meet up. :)

Big Hugs too you.... x

Open mind

Hello/welcome back Jen,

Lot's of good advice on previous threads of yours and here as well.

Wishing you and your sons a very merry Day After Christmas!

om

Band on the Run

Christmas is hard for me. I tend to make it a measurement of my success. A family has eluded me. Where I live it is difficult to volunteer at the last minute since everyone else has the same idea. Every year I swear I will start applying in June but forget about it. People recommend viewing Christmas as a sick day. I want to celibrate it fully. Norman Rockwell had no single people, did he? Most churches have special services for those bereaved or otherwise hurting. I regularly attended mignight mass at the Anglican Cathedral Church of St. John the Divine in NY. It is the largest cathedral in the world. St. Peter's in Rome is a basilica. The bishop would go out of his way to welcome singles, esp. those still reeling from broken relationships. I'd tear up and then survey the crowd. One-third of the people present seemed to be alone. Not one of them seemed to be a loser.

Volunteering is great, if you can find a gig. It makes me get away from all this commercial nonsense. My problems, while substantial, are better than many people. Jewish people spend the day at Chinese restaurants. I tried this but tend to want plum pudding and roast beef at Christmas. It is a hard day for me to maneuver. I've cried and cried. My inner child reels from the hurt of no Christmas growing up. We never had toys. I attended public school before the school prayer decision. I loved singing the carols and exchanging gifts. My mom looked the other way.

My grandmother was a harsh JW taskmaster. She was active from Bible Students days. When my dad died, his sister invited us to spend Christmas with them. She came with us. We feared the tension over Christmas celebration. We were ready to have our mom disfellowshipped. Shock of all shocks. My grandmother celebrated quite actively with no mention that Christmas was evil.

I think of myself as part of a great crowd alone on Christmas through no fault of their own. Hopefully, I won't be so alone in future years. Even when I lived in Manhattan, I found Christmas wanting because of all the hype. It seems out of ordinary time. Perhaps that is the whole point. I remind myself that Bethelehem had no fireworks or Tiffany's. Once I attended the cathedral with family, friends and lover. Maybe next year. Just as the Jews proclaim "Next year in Jerulasem" I hope for better things. I acknowledge the good of the present.

It passes in a few days. My sister lives down the road and celebrates but I am not invited. It has nothing to do with me. You should see my tree -- many hopes are invested there. I read Advent essays, A Christmas Carol, the Twelve Horribles of Christmas. Every year I read the opening poem of John. It is breath-taking. When I first started celebrating Christmas, it was awkward. Now I can't imagine not celebrating.

A good gift is Heifer, Intl., a Christian group that donates livestock animals to developing countries. I can only afford gifts of half a good sheep or a hive of bees. People seem to appreciate the spirit. It much better than slippers from QVC.

LV101

compound complex --- i admire your effort and understand. everything in life comes with a price or admission fee. please post any further info in your endeavor.

LV101

Don't post too often but need some support

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