I'm upset

by littlebird 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • nugget

    I am sorry for you this is a nasty display of JW mentality. I am totally with BP what right does a non family member have to impose themselves into your grief at this time. I would speak to your husband and say that you find this very upsetting. It is likely the brother is angling to do the memorial but even so this is a time when the family should meet together and discuss what your FIL would have wished for the funeral. I would invite them to your home for an informal cup of coffee and cake and a chance to talk together.

    JW funerals are horrendous even when someone dies who is well loved in the congregation the event is hijacked to witness JW propaganda and does not honour the person. This may be what your FIL would have wanted but this doesn't mean that the family can't have a private memorial at the burial site where you all have an opportunity to honour the man.

    Your husband needs to think of you as well as his JW persona and to accept the invitation to dinner that excludes you is insensitive and cruel. In my place it would be easier to exclude the brother than a family member.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    I just make sure that they know that I know that they have double standards and that it is up to them to provide me with the evidence that they are not a pack of ar

  • snowbird


    From Snowbird.


  • Ding

    Sorry to hear of your loss.

    I will pray for you and your family.

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    you have a right to be upset. sorry for your pain!

  • blondie

    It only shows why it is so important to leave your own wishes regarding your funeral in your will, and be specific and have someone you trust to carry it through.

    Could it be that towards the end he wanted his funeral to be conducted by jws and was not aware that some people would be excluded?

  • yknot

    I am with BP and JBFB....... what sort of message is that sending????

    ummmm I suggest you assert yourself as a 'non-believing' spouse.... and then smack him upside the head with:

    *** w05 3/1 p. 19 par. 14 Wise Guidance for Married Couples ***
    14 Christian husbands who have applied the principles of Peter’s words have likewise won their wives over by their conduct. Unbelieving wives have seen their husbands gain a sense of responsibility, ceasing to waste money on smoking, drinking, and gambling and no longer using abusive language. Some of those mates have met other members of the Christian congregation. They were impressed with the loving Christian brotherhood, and what they observed among the brothers drew them to Jehovah.—John 13:34, 35.

    (John 13:34-35) 34 I am giving YOU a new commandment, that YOU love one another; just as I have loved YOU, that YOU also love one another. 35 By this all will know that YOU are my disciples, if YOU have love among yourselves.”

    Ask him how this action is loving?? Does it encourage you to see things 'their' way or just reinforce your negative impression? Worst yet as long as this system is without the start of the GT or Armageddon he has husbandly reponsibilities toward you which include protecting you from such abusive actions and by accepting the invite without insisting on your presence he in turn enables and is guilty of the abuse.......cite you are being 'persecuted' just for good measure!

  • littlebird

    BP, you're right about my husband. He mentioned not going, I thought it was because of me, but no, it was because all the" wordly" ones would be smoking. Very disappointing. I have to remember, Jehovah, or really , the gb, comes before anything, even me. We are separated but dating trying

    this is clearly not helping.

    Blondie, I think he just wanted a funeral, I dont think was aware of anyone being excluded.

  • yknot

    Maybe might be a good time to ask whom you are to shun/exclude from his (hubby) funeral.....ask if you will be allowed to attend or if he expects 'the friends' to show you any sort of kindness????

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    We are separated but dating trying

    Looks like he's not trying hard enough. Dump him. Seriously. Yknot explained it well, and with scriptures. That ain't love.

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