Update: part 2, elder's counsel to mom to quit "bad association"

by Coffee House Girl 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    I think you handled it wonderfully. I loved the part where you said I am you daughter and this is my moral and scriptural responsibility to take care of you.

    You totally took the high ground. And yes unless you live on a busy street how do they know Coffee House Guy is there? Good question.

    I hope you find peace LITS

  • RosePetal

    Yes well done they cant stop you looking after your mum, you are handling it excellently, you are a good loving daughter and she should be proud of you for being there for her. Shame on them if they try to stop you. I hope your mum sees through and see how unloving this reasoning is.

    Even if you were disfellowshipped they should not interfere with you looking after your mother. Stand your ground.

    GO GO Girl RosePetal

  • dgp

    I'm sorry to say all I can do is send you my sympathy. I do hope that your telling your mother that you will live up to your responsibility towards her will be the happy excuse she needs to keep seeing you.

    No one should have to go through any of this.

  • mrsjones5

    CHG, I'm having problems with my family (my family and I have recently been kicked out of the family - won't go into detail here cuz it would be rude and my story should have it's own topic) and I was talking about it to my dear cousin and she laid this little gem on me:

    "Does you family feed you? No

    Does your family clothe you and your's? No

    Does your family pay your bills? No

    Then they have no right to question and demand answers about your personal business."

    My cousin is one smart cookie. I just wish with all of my heart that she wasn't a jw.

  • Coffee House Girl
    Coffee House Girl

    Thank you all for your kind replies,

    Many of you wonder how they may know what CSG's car is...yes I live on a busy street, it is easy for anyone to pass by on a daily basis to go to and from work (like a suspicious elder). But that is still not proof because there are at least three cars parked here all different times of the day, and CSG knows my landlady and does computer work in her appartment- which door is adjacent to mine, you really have no way of knowing which apartment one could be entering. Plus I have an ace in the hole that I will provide upon a JC meeting that I wont share on line until after it is over.

    Clearpoison- your issue is exactly what I have been wrestling with when deciding to go this route. Do I just lie down and take it from the elders as I have always done and lose my mom, or do I fight bogus rules from a bogus organization even using less than "admirable" tactics to beat them at their game? I may still loose my mom anyway...eventually she still may choose to cut me out, but they violated human decency by upsetting her & making her feel unworthy by twisting their "laws" to try to gain control over me and her. I want to beat them for me. That is selfish, but that is truth. Mom ultimately has to make her own choice.

    Thank you again for all your love and support


  • clearpoison

    CHG, thanks for explanation. And good for you that you are able to operate even from selfish point of view. These are things that concern foremost yourself and secondary others. Going unselfish path would look very different indeed.



    they just were counseling her that she should no longer be associating with me because I am bad association and have been seen with "him"
    (again with the HIM) and that his car has been seen parked there all the time.....CHG

    Once your mom is too old too take care of herself..Those same Elders will dump her in your lap..

    They are ScumBags and Cowards..

    They will tear up your family..Then leave you to fend for yourselves..

    ........................ ...OUTLAW

  • Coffee House Girl
    Coffee House Girl

    Outlaw- as always you say it succinctly and with flair :)

    I wrote to the elders requesting to only be contacted by mail & put in a bit about how perhaps my mother being elderly and having a hard time taking care of my dad would have better benefitted from encouragement rather than counsel. Those words fell on deaf ears I'm sure.


  • cantleave

    Best of luck stay strong. BTW loved the xmas card!

  • Coffee House Girl
    Coffee House Girl

    Thanks cantleave & nugget for yours as well! I could send one of our fun cards to my "stalking" elder, that would solve it for him wouldn't it? Nah...


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