I think too think your dad was being loving. It is how we are made as human beings, but the cult changes, us, demands cut our family off but deep inside everyone knows it is wrong. Every since I was a kid I have known of elders who speak to and house their DF'ed kids, yet they would bust anyone else who was below them in rank if they did the same. It is all just a power thing.
I knew of one hard nosed elder who could be a real jerk to the members of the congregation yet his DF'ed son would come over through the back door of his house all the time so no one would see from the street. He would park his car in the back or around the block, all the other elders knew it and looked the other way.
I was a teenager when I found this out and my parents dropped by once and the son was there. The elder was very upset at my parents for catching him as he rode my parents for everything they did wrong.
I think it is sweet at least that he cares as did the elder who was a jerk, at least he did have some heart in him. I was upset as a kid but still thought at least he cared about the son.