Badco--You're hardcore, man! I went through alcohol and drug education and some AA because of a DUI, and you are absolutely right. You have to want to stop in the first place. And wow...morphine? Meth? I'm glad you picked yourself up out of that mud puddle. About finding a hobby...I agree completely. In fact, mountain climbing is one of my favorite things to do and would be awesome if there were any within a normal drive from here in Durham, NC. I will live near them again someday.
I have had no passion for anything in years, and now, with a little sober time, the old lust for life is returning. The feeling of actually wanting to do something positive and look people in the eye is amazing. I have learned this lesson so many times, been reborn over and over again only to fall back to the drink after a few days. I need to stay engaged this time.
Elder-Schmelder--lol. I noticed Jim Gaffigan is your avatar. One of my favorite comedians. "Oh..you don't eat mayonnaise? Are you addicted to mayonnaise?"
JeffT--Congratulations on your sobriety. Thank you for the good advice and your offer.
Finally-Free--Sounds like we both need some positive influences to combat the old "fukitall" factor. It is a monster.
Wobble---Thank you for your encouraging words and pledge of support. It is good to know people care.
So I am entering day 3 without a drink. Sadly, in my world, this is something of an accomplishment, and I feel better than I have in years. I have been through this time and time again and "return to the vomit" every time within a few days, but this time feels a little different. That old prideful thought that I can "have one or two" is quieter this time. I am an alcoholic, and have known this for many years, but I am really comfortable with that statement this time. It feels good to admit that I am licked. I have tried every which way to be a moderate drinker and I simply cannot do it. One drink, even all by itself with a night of sleep afterward, ALWAYS leads to chronic abuse and soon soul sickness. I can't waste anymore of my life this way.
Thank you to everyone for your support so far.