Anybody else drink too much alcohol and want to stop?

by new light 25 Replies latest jw friends

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  new light

  I have been drinking heavily my entire adult life with the exception of about two very happy years and I feel it is now time to try and put it down (again).

  It's hard, though, as there is no one to impress except myself. Last time I quit, at least I worked with some sober people whom I found much more relatable with a clear mind and that provided at least a little more inspiration to continue. Also, I was single, so the self improvement was pushed along by the urge to merge, if you will.

  Now I am (very happily) married. And my wife, although she is my world, is a drinker, and not to be counted on as a good influence in that department. I have no deep relationships with any non drinkers.

  I am very much looking forward to being sober AND free of the JWs at the same time, as the two have never really coincided in my life. I pretty much traded the shackles of the religion for the shackles of heavy drinking and have been a cynical miserable SOB for a long time now. I feel like there could be a whole new life out there if I can just not drink.

  Some words of advice, encouragement, or comisery would be much appreciated!
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  designs

  Try a local support group like AA. There is nothing to join, you can just listen, meet a few new friends in the process.

  Me- Addict for 37 years, 10 years sober, life is good again. PM me if you like.

  designs
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  Quando

  Please listen to that inner voice! I was a heavy drinker and quit for 1.5 years and started again and it took me 6 months to realize I started back up for everyone else, the thing is the other people REALLY don't care if you drink or not.

  Relationships are such a tough thing to gauge when your a witness, I drank to escape all the brain chatter and I am surrounded by drinkers and all witnesses. Do it for you and you only!

  It's time to have the me attitude.
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  zoiks

  I agree, a local group like AA may be what you need. My wife and I both generally have a beer or glass of wine after work. When I catch myself reaching for a beer or two without thinking, I give it a rest for a week or so. Alcoholism is prevalent in both of our families, and it's so easy to fall into the trap.
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  new light

  Of course! AA! Thank you Designs and Zoiks. That sounds like exactly the extra support needed.

  Quando--I know what you mean about starting back up for other people. Last time I quit, I became VERY irritable, and part of the reason for drinking was to be a nicer person to those around me, or at least that is what the addiction told me. It IS time for the me attitude. A short fuse for a few days is a small price to pay for the bigger reward. Maybe I can remember that this time.

  Great responses so far. Thank you.
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  designs

  new light- You are on the right track and many here will share their journey to sobriety and the things that worked and the land mines that can trip a person up. When you hear other's stories you will see the different markers along the way, how you feel after one week, one month, six months, one year and so on. It takes the human body a few months to adjust and it takes the human mind a few years to adjust. But like we say- One Day At A Time

  All the best and share daily if you need to.
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  badcompany

  I too quit the "truth" and turned to heavy drink (and smoking, coke, meth, morphine...okay just about everything). I've been to rehab three times. Twice the judge made me. Once a wife made me. Did AA and all the rest. In the end it was up to me to decide to live or not. The only thing that worked for me was to replace the old habit with a pleasurable activity that did not allow the old. For instance I really wanted to quit cigs for good. I replaced that with mountain climbing. There's no way you can climb mountains on a regular basis and smoke. I quit 2 1/2 packs a day cold turkey and haven't had one since 1996. Pick something your passionate about and get involved with it. Drinking, when out of control, wastes a whole lot of time among other things. I always ponder a quote from the Chief in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". He was talking about his fathers drinking. Paraphrase: "One day I looked at him drinking out of that bottle and I realized the bottle was drinking out of him".
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  JeffT

  PM me if you want. I have not had a drink since Aug 29, 2005. I went to rehab and I've been going to AA ever since. I highly recommend it. I have met some really good people there. It is also one of the least organized organizations in the world. I've found it to be a good place to work on exjw issues as well.

  Good luck to you.
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  elder-schmelder

  Sometimes I am the last one in the bar and I just wait for my friends to come back.

  elder-schmelder
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  Finally-Free

  It's hard, though, as there is no one to impress except myself.

  This is precisely the reason why I find it so hard to quit smoking.

  W