Not sure abt my relationship anylonger :(

by Newborn 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Newborn

    Some of you knows that I've been wanting to meet a man since I got divorced and left the borg 2,5 y ago. I dated a lot and almost gave up. I only met idiots! I was a happy and free single at the time but were longing for love and a normal relationship. In May when I was searching for an old friend on FB I came across my boy friend with the same name (we really got contact by chance). We started to write on FB. Since then we've had contact every day and even though we live 1600km apart we've found time and money to meet at least ones a month. The first time we met we were both in heaven. It felt SO right and I've been so happy...He met my family and I met his. It just felt perfect!

    However, it doesn't feel SO right anymore He lives very far away and he's a country boy. He lives in a tiny village with 500 inhabitants in the alps and I'm a city girl. He's two small daughters and is not able to move right now. So I'm the one that has to move but I feel so un-certain to move so far and leave my life here in the city where I've a good job, friends, etc... Before I thought that it would be a great adventure to move and a good change for me...but I feel so unsure now. I don't think I will be happy there. It's beautiful nature and you can ski every day if you want but to live there...I don't know...I feel sad coz I really thought he was the One. He's absolutely one of the best and kindest man I've met but I feel a lot is missing. On one hand I want to start a family and I do love his kids and they like me and I'd like to have my own someday...but on the other I'm so independant, comfortable and free now. I'm starting to think that perhaps I'm supposed to live alone...I know how difficult it is to find someone...

    Oh God! I'm so confused right now. It kills me that I perhaps have to break up with him...(I thought we were meant to be).

    Just needed to tell you.../Newborn

  • Hadit

    That's a big decision! It's good to vent and get it out there. I'm certainly no relationship expert but I think you need to follow your heart and what is right for you. Perhaps visualize each scenario in detail and see which one "feels right" and feels expansive rather than restrictive. What is your intuition saying? It's always good to observe it.

    I wish you all the best with whatever decision you make!

    I'm sure it will be the right one for you.


  • Newborn

    Thanks Hadi.

    It truly would be a life changing decision and I'm afraid to make the wrong one...

    I always listen to my heart but sometimes the answer isn't so clear...but for the moment my gut feeling is that I wouldn't be happy "up there", in the long run. I'd miss so much of the comfortable city life and perhaps I'd grow bitter on him...I'm afraid it's just too big a change.


    Hi Newborn,

    I've just sent you a pm


  • moshe

    Women always have a shopping list and you know what yours is, too. Stick to it or you will make HIM unhappy in the end. Being a stepmother is not easy, either. If you move and then can't take the country ( you know you will hate it), those two children will be hurt. Don't move for their sake.

    The problem with Internet dating, is the dream is better than the reality.


    I say listen to your head, not your heart. I had a long distance relationship for 4 years, as soon as we moved in together we started fighting, an our relationship only survived 2 more years.Make sure you are 100% by giving it a good trial run. Stay there a month at least before making a final commitment. Test the waters good and proper. Make sure you are not the one making all the sacifices.


  • Newborn

    Make sure you are not the one making all the sacrifices.

    Arte,Thats a good advice. Thanks for sharing your experience. I would for sure not move there permanently before I've tried it for a few months at least, if I'd decide to try it at all...


  • sacolton

    Don't you want to get out of the city before Armageddon comes?

  • OnTheWayOut

    Whatever you do, I wish you well in your journey. Enjoy whatever what you can of whichever path life takes you on.

  • Newborn

    Don't you want to get out of the city before Armageddon comes?

    Ha ha ha ha

    Hi Sac! Long time no speak. Hope you're keeping well

    Onthewayout, thanks!!

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