An interesting talk with my father

by Soldier77 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Soldier77

    A little background before my recap of my conversation. My father left my mom and I when I was young, like before I was 5. So I didn't know him other than a couple images I had of him in my head. I don't have any bad feelings towards him, even though he cheated on my mom and took 20 years to pay back child-support. But he did, he was struggling through the years so I get that and I respect him for paying my mom what he owed through the legal system. A few years ago my grandfather passed away, we met up at the funeral (the second time in my adult life that I talked to my dad, and had a great talk, of course I was DF'd at the time and he was reinstated, but that didn't change anything with how we treated eachother.) That was the first time I got to see he was a good man, just made bad decisions in his life.

    Anyway, so the other night I gave him a call to see how he's doing. He's inactive, hasn't been to the meetings or an assembly/convention for years. Well, some family drama has been going on since my grandfather passed, the youngest son (my Elder uncle) has control over the family estate (funny, didn't know our family had an estate, too poor) and is causing all kinds of hell with my Dad. Anyway yadda yadda family drama...

    My Dad tells me he wishes family would take out the religion aspect of the argument. Treat him and the rest of the family that are not witnesses with respect and true unconditional love. He said that the hypocrisy of the organization is disgusting. There is no love amoung them just self-righteous anger. I was floored. I couldn't have agreed with him any more, especially going through the BS I'm going through in my own situation, amazes me how similar in thoughts about the org we have. I just let him talk and vent. He feels that this religion is what is splitting our once close and tight-knit family up. He said that his brothers (both Elders for years) and their families are more dysfunctional than our immediate family. Sure they never went through a divorce, another marriage with children. But they are completely unloving, unsupportive and demeaning to my dad and I since I've been inactive for some months myself.

    He said he, in his mind, doesn't have family other than his two daughters and me. Weird huh? I mean I've talked to this guy only a couple of times in my whole life. But I swore to him that I would always be there for him, no matter what religious beliefs are held or what social status, it doesn't matter. If he ever has an emergency, I want to know about it as soon as possible, I told him I would be there for him not just in spirit but physically be there for him in time of need.

    It saddens me that my dad, who comes from a decent sized family, all JW's, is shunned and treated worse than a dog by the same "loving and spiritual" JW family. How can they say they are not a cult? How can they say they are God's chosen people and organization? How can they lie to its members and live with themselves? How can.... There is so much wrong with this cult it's mind-boggling. The sad thing about the whole organization is that is has suckered so many into thinking it truly is the mouth-piece of God Almighty.

    There are no words I can utter right now of the anger and rage I have for the Governing Body and the lives that they control through this corporation.

    Burn in hell GB!

    Thanks for reading, I just had to vent. Im so pissed off atm I probably didn't write this out well.

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    you can't make sence of it... I keep trying to myself but a cult is a cult! Glad you and your Dad see it...

  • Soldier77

    I don't think he has come that far yet. But I now see the potential for opening his eyes completely to it. Not to mention saving my sisters too.

  • james_woods
    I don't think he has come that far yet. But I now see the potential for opening his eyes completely to it. Not to mention saving my sisters too.

    Agreed on both, Soldier77. There is a big difference between the personal anger at being shunned unfairly, and the intellectual outrage of learning that everything they told you was a lie. But, you can only hope the one can eventually lead to the other.

  • miseryloveselders

    Thanks for reading, I just had to vent. Im so pissed off atm I probably didn't write this out well.

    You wrote it well. Besides, its authentic and from the heart, thats more important than how it was written. Thanks for sharing this. It means alot for those such as myself who at times feel we're the only ones going through this struggle. Plus its good to vent on here, get it off your chest as opposed to taking it out on someone via attitude or grumpiness.

  • alanv

    Hi soldier I was pleased to see that you put the blame on the governing body.

    JWs love to say how we hate jws but that is not true.

    The blame for how the society acts quite rightly rests at the door of the governing body. Most JWs are victims as we once were.

  • mrsjones5

    Your dad's a wise man. Wish my own father was that wise.

  • yknot

    (shakes head at the all to 'normal-ness' of such horrible behavior by 'good JWs')..... I got nothing.... it's a cult.

  • Soldier77

    alanv, yes, the blame is with the old men sitting in their boardroom making life changing decisions on a whim or so-called 'spirit-direction'. I know a lot of good people still in, they're just as fooled as I once was and many others, or trying to get out/fade.

    MrsJones, it's funny you say that because from the rest of my family's point of view, he's misguided, weak, and faithless. Sick huh?

    lol yknot!

    I got nothing.... it's a cult.

    Sure is!

  • CuriousButterfly

    You did a great job venting your thoughts/conversation with your Dad. It is SO sad to see people shun their family members.

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