how to tell elders we dont wana go anymore leave us alone,

by serein 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Tell them that your family has decided to start attending another congregation. Ask them to send the your publisher record cards and a letter of introduction to the new congregation. Pick one that is at least 10 miles away and that you have no contacts with. If you're up to it, you could actually attend one meeting there and make sure to get the name of the Coordinator of the Body of Elders and the Secretary. That will add credibility to what you say.

    Then the next time they show up, tell them that you're being "shepherded" by the new congregation and want to follow Jehovah's arrangement. Thanks for stopping by though.

    om

  • serein
    serein

    thanks bigmac

    yer u know what im pathetic i need to stand my ground i know il do it next time thye come

    ,il prob faint straight after thoe but il do it, u lot are so harsh, im totaly nothing near to being a strong outspoken person as some of u are. im goin to still write a letter and going to send it to the bro in question a nice polite one still but firm.

  • serein
    serein

    i dont think much of this advice is gona help me but it strengthend my mind a bit to just go ahead and be straight its the only way i supose.

  • moshe
    moshe

    It's easy- go find a political candidates yard sign and put it in your front yard. The elders should get the point- if that doesn't work, some Xmas decorations WILL work.

    Finally, put my sign on your door. Good luck!

  • moshe
    moshe

    Here is a sign for everyone in Florida, to ward off pesky JWs.-

  • serein
    serein

    funny sign il take it iv been doing alot of that lately dint realise how many i had especialy as i havnt been on min in like ages now and they been piling up in my cuboard and all my books have gone now, it should be changed thoe to have jw cut outs on it instead book bag nd all

  • breathing
    breathing

    people that get mad with you on here serein are probably angry cos they feel useless that you arent accepting any of their suggestions and

    THEY feel useless deep down, perhaps unconcsciously,

    so actually their anger at you is a sign that they arent so strong after all,

    but actually cannot cope with your replies and your strength in daring to show your vulnerability in public,

    and so they feel they have to protect their vulnerability by losing their cool with you,

    so when you think you are wishy washy and weak, actually remember that you are the strong one to dare to show your softer sides and to talk about the things you are struglling with

    and regards the issue of the bro calling, i would write in the letter that it was distressing me that he keep calling, and that he do not call again as it is affecting your health, and that you will get in touch if andwhen you want to, but that he should NOT call again,

    you dont have to be nasty, be firm,

    it does take a while, it did for me,

    take care

  • serein
    serein

    yer im gona do exactly that thanks that was the answer i needed

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    Serein, in this life, there are people who want to push the limits of decency and properness. It is up to you to establish your boundaries and then defend them. If these elders aren't getting the message, time to play the legal card. Get real serious with them and state plainly you are not interested and if they come back again you will be calling the authorities and then your lawyer.

    This works for me every time. EVERY time.

  • MrMonroe
    MrMonroe

    To a greater or lesser degree, what you've experienced is what many of us have experienced. When my wife and I were fading, our book study conductor phoned to say he'd like to come and have a chat with us.

    I said, "You mean a shepherding call?" He said, "Well, yes," I said, "No thanks, I'm actually doing fine. If I want to talk, I'll let you know."

    I understand that because of the power elders have over publishers it takes a bit of guts to stand up to them and assert yourself. But they always count on the expectation that publishers will wilt and accept their "theocratic" superiority. In reality they have no more power than the person behind a stall at your local market, or a door-to-door seller who pushes you to buy something you don't want. I bet in that case you say, "No thanks" and keep walking (or shut the door). The fact is elders are humans like you and the spruiker at the market, and you can just say, "No thanks". If they don't accept that, treat them exactly as you would any other persistent tout.

    When we finally did quit going, the same elder came and visited my wife at her workplace to see how she was going. He happened to mention the CO was in town that week, which was of course the only reason he was calling. She told him, "No, we're fine, thanks" and wouldn't say any more. He never came back, probably because he could then go and tell the CO that he'd done his best. Your elders there are certainly persistent, but maybe it's because they sense you're vacillating and maybe they think you can still be won over.

    Sure, it takes guts first time, but it gets a whole lot easier after that. Just try it.

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