It is not fear or nervousness that keeps me from posting here as it is concern for loved ones in the organization. For a lack of a better term, I have been labeled at times as a 'patriarch' if you will. I am in my mid sixties, been in the 'truth' for 40+ years. My sweetheart of a wife & I have more than our share of kids who are adults with their families (grandchildren) who also are in the 'truth'. My wife shares the same disappointments toward the organization that I have. Unfortunately our children while they may be aware of issues in the organization are quick to write them off and are inclined to give the leadership the benefit of the doubt (for the time being). My wife & I know better!
Many have commented that I am at a stage of my life with the experience that I have, that you would think I would be more visible in the congregation (serving as an elder once again, having more parts, shepherding the flock and the like). Frankly, I find it quite difficult to stomach what I am doing as a M.S. what with the lies, deception, hypocrisy and such that I've seen over the years. Because there are those who wonder, especially among the body, why I don't do more, there is as a result an air of suspision perhaps of my loyalty. That doesn't worry me much as I know how to bullsh*t my way with them. I hope you can begin to see my dilemma. I have obligations to a number of loved ones not to mention long time friends, but especially to my family. Don't get me wrong, I none the less still stand up for what I believe in and for what many of you believe in. I've done my share of going 'toe to toe' and 'nose to nose' with the c.o. and elders over matters that are dear to me.
I have been visiting the various forums such as this one for a number of years now. It has been like therapy for me and for that I thank all of you. I think you cover a wide range of topics rather nicely. This affords me an opportunity to for example thank "Blondie" for her hard work in critiquing the Watchtower study articles. Keep up the good work! I soo look forward to them! I look forward to expressing my appreciation to many more of you as time goes on. Thank you Jeff for raising this topic and allowing me to explain my situation. My guess is there are literally thousands like my wife and myself who have to fly below the 'radar' of the society. It is not as though we lead double lives or that we have a double standard. But as you know there is indeed a price to pay. I know well the price Raymond Franz & his wife paid. I think often of their mistreatment by the society. This is a JW GoneBad saying thank you.