Need advice about JW boyfriend

by tryingtolove 39 Replies latest social relationships

  • tryingtolove
    tryingtolove

    I have been with my jw boyfriend for about a year and a half. He was living with his parents when we first started dating, but now we are living together. His mother knows, but not his father (who is the one who got them into the jw's and is more strict about it). He hasn't attended any meetings in a long time. My problem is that I am not a jw and I don't know if he will ever want to marry me because of it. He would have no problem leaving the jw all together, but the last time he did that, his father shunned him and he doesn't want to lose his family again. I completely understand that, but it sucks never being able to have a close relationship with his family and how blissfully ignorant they choose to be about where he is living and what he is doing. I'm worried because I know that someday he will have to choose between me or them, and I hope he chooses me. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks

  • wasblind
    wasblind

    For starters, you got the right name, cause with the situation you in, that's all you gonna be doin'

    " TRYIN" TO LOVE"

    Get out now, this mess got stank written all over it, don't get tangled up in drama you don't need

    don't be put in a situation where you will be forced to make choices instead of making them freely.

    You asked, and so you have been told. I truly wish you the best

  • Gayle
    Gayle

    If you can get him to read "Crisis of Conscience" by Raymond Franz, you may have a chance. If he won't read it, "Run, trying, Run!"

  • oldlightnewshite
    oldlightnewshite

    Tough call. Before you do anything I would try and see the extent to which he disbelieves his old religion. You Definitely don't want him going back into it once you're married. You'll always have a problem with this unfortunately. They will shun you once they are both aware of you living together. Getting married will make things worse. If your BF's dad finds out, he might tell the elders, then your BF will be disfellowshipped.

    I say again, have a BIIIIIIIIIIIG chat about religion with your partner, coz you definitely don't want him going back in to that religion. There is a mindset that can run deep, especially if he's been brought up as a child in the Watchtower Organization.

    It won't be easy for you either way you look at it.

    Sorry, Best of luck x

  • Ding
    Ding

    His parents will never accept your living together without being married even if his mother looks the other way.

    More disturbing is the fact that you don't know if your boyfriend will choose you when he has to make a decision.

    That's a pretty shaky basis for a relationship.

    How long are you willing to go on this way?

    In any event, please think long and hard before you decide to have children with him.

    Kids deserve a stable family.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    This guy is a dishonest loser who will end up lying to YOU sooner or later. Leave him know and find someone who is proud of you and proud to be with you.

  • asilentone
    asilentone

    have him join this website and it might help him to deal with this hard situation better.

  • asilentone
    asilentone

    He is not a loser!!!!!!! He is in a very hard situation!!!!!!!!!

  • asilentone
    asilentone

    Gayle, I have never read the Franz books, it is not a requirement.

  • Twitch
    Twitch

    Get out now. JW boys have no idea what reality is, never mind relationships.

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