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TheLoveDoctor

Hello all

stepped down in feb 2010 official around april. I had time to read books which never really liked to read. However if the subject intrest me thats diffrent. like health, memory, brain stuff, subconcience mind, self-help, and when something touched on a spiritual nature it got me thinking and doing more reffrence reading. Lead me eventualy to seach internet and find out what and why apostates and or ex jw's feel the way the do. So now my fall began with dropping pioneering, stepped down as elder, havent commented in months, miss meeting when I never did before. So many friends Im sure are wondering and I know some miss me as an elder. what stops me from dissasociating myself is my wife is difficult and blind and will not listen, Her mom is a witness and owns the house and lives on first floor. Many family members in other halls, and truly I do love the friends and I love people and am affraid to be alone cause im a people person. My problem is with the leadership because gods spirit should not be making so many mistakes and since jesus soposed to be taking the lead also he's been messing up to.. To bad I could not find a decent group-club non religious to associate with cause I can get allong with many.

VampireDCLXV

TheLoveDoctor, I bid you welcome.

A metaphore we often use here is the red pill/blue pill thing from the movie "The Matrix". Seen it? You've taken the red pill and there's no going back, is there? We're here for you. You'll find all kinds of answers here. Just keep following the white rabbit...

V665

Crisis of Conscience

Wow! I feel I am sort of in the same position you are. I stopped pioneering early this year but as of yet have not resigned as a MS. Not sure what I'm waiting for. I too became curious of why so called apostates felt the way they did. What was/is the WTS trying to hide? I haven't commented either since about May, not once. And I have been missing meetings a lot, which I rarely ever did. I am currently also reading "other" things, books exposing the WTS.

As far as my wife, she has actually become somewhat receptive recently.

I'm also a people person so it makes it difficult to just completely walk away. But a fade sounds good to me. And I could see myself making friends just fine with "wordly" people, as I get along well with pretty much everyone.

And yes, I believe that the "holy spirit" guides the brothers to make too many mistakes. It doesn't make sense.

Anyway, WELCOME!!

My advice: BE PATIENT. Read as many posts as possible regarding how people deal with their believing mates and the outcome. There are no guarantees, but it can help you to formulate a plan.

I wish you the best in your struggle.

CoC

Quillsky

Welcome LoveDoctor.

You've taken the first baby-steps to extracting yourself --- resigning as an elder, quitting spending all your valuable free time knocking on doors, starting reading and researching.

It seems as though your biggest obstacles to being true to yourself are marital (very common, as you see on this forum) and economic (less common).

My advice, for what it's worth, is to maintain the status quo for now --- love your wife, be kind to your mother-in-law, be a good friend to your friends --- but stop doing things that make you uncomfortable. You can't be disfellowshipped for saying "Going out in service/attending meetings makes me feel uncomfortable."

And keep exploring, good luck!!!

TheLoveDoctor

thanks for spreading the love. Its appreiated

Hadit

Welcome TheLoveDoctor!

You'll have lots of support here and many great suggestions (as above). Take small steps, keep reading, process the information and keep quiet till you have a plan. Sounds like you're well on your way.

like health, memory, brain stuff, subconcience mind, self-help,

Interesting stuff there for sure! My kind of reading.

Take good care and I wish you all the best.

Hadit

Lozhasleft

Hello and welcome Lovedoctor....you'd do well to get a copy of Ray Franz's Crisis of Conscience that will help you as it has many of us. Take it easy now and give time, time.

Loz x

Hopscotch

Welcome TLD. It's great to hear of your 'awakening' to the lie.

There are many great stories on here of elders and ex elders who have successsfully faded. Cantleave is one that comes to mind and Tastingfreedom is another that has recently left. He put a story on here a few days ago about his journey called something like "From Elder to a Free Man".

My husband (who had been an elder) and I faded about 4 years ago.

All the best

Hopscotch

cantleave

Welcome Lovedoctor!

yesidid

Welcome LoveDoctor.

It's good to have you with us.

y

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