Has anyone successfully faded without moving out of the territory?

by NiceDream 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Well on the way - started fading last year - resigned as an elder in November 2009 and haven't attended any meetings since March. Still get the Mags and OKM dropped off, but no interrogations or questions.

  • caliber
    caliber
    we just send the elders on their way if we get "ambushed," or don't even answer the door especially if they did not call first and make an appointment...ten years now

    This is funny "get ambushed " ha ha ha ... but so true...

    if they know you , your phone number , why do they have to make cold calls at your door if you're a brother or sister ?

    While we were still attending sometime ago I mentioned to an Elder that "brother so and so " could use a call . (call seems to mean going to their door )

    His answer... "we have but he is never home when we call" I said .. "You know his phone number, don't you , why not simply call first ? " His eyebrows raised in shock and he was speechless !!

    To answer the posters question though.. yes we have faded for 12 years , plus a partial fade from the meetings 7 years before that !

    We have resided in the same house and same congregation the whole time. Make no waves, make no direct negative statements about the brothers or the WT. Do a slow fade they then see you as just weak and get use to you not being there !

  • no lies please
    no lies please

    So far so good on the acclerated-fade. Resigned as elder about a year and a half prior to completely leaving in 2009. Requested to be left alone because I was doing fine. No need to keep checking on me.

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    So it *can* be done, but I'm guessing that most of those in who have done so do not decorate for the holidays.

    I would imagine that decorating would send out a signal to the congregation and become grounds for Disassociation. No?

    -Aude.

  • no more kool aid
    no more kool aid

    We stopped attending very abruptly in 2008. We still live in the territory, same house and surrounded by relatives. The first few months ( after they realized we weren't just sick or on vacation) someone was here every Saturday afternoon and Sunday, knocking at the doors, that eventually subsided. Now maybe every six months someone will stop by. I never once answered the door or the phone ( although I am worried about them coming when I am outside or during a kids birthday party). Oh and they called wanting our time for a few months. My husbands theory is that they have new problems and have hopefully just forgotten about us! NMKA

  • undercover
    undercover
    So it *can* be done, but I'm guessing that most of those in who have done so do not decorate for the holidays.
    I would imagine that decorating would send out a signal to the congregation and become grounds for Disassociation. No?

    I've never decorated. I grew up without those traditions so I've never felt the need, at my age, to try to fit in...especially on more religious holidays that I don't care anything about.

    Interesting question about what would happen if an inactive JW did decorate. Is that grounds for DAing...or DFing? Seems like I've read here on the board where people had elders snooping around when holiday decorations were spotted. I'd say it's probably a DFing offense...at least if it were xmas or Easter decorations. Returning to Christendom kinda thing... Not sure about Thanksgiving or Halloween.

  • TheListener
    TheListener

    I did so.

  • Think About It
    Think About It
    if they know you , your phone number , why do they have to make cold calls at your door if you're a brother or sister ?

    The elders would never admit it, but cold calls are a way to spy on you. There is always the chance they could stop by unannounced and see something they doesn't jive with their WTS organization, then make a JC case out of it.

    Think About It

  • sspo
    sspo

    Four years and no problem living in the town!

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    It can be done, as several posters have shown above. One bit of advice I would recommend if this is your plan is this - When talking to JW's "Bite your Tongue!"

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