ex-elders, present elders, and sexual abuse survivors or their families

by Lady Lee 58 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  truthseekeriam

  Wrong way is dead wrong!

  Elders investigate it just as strongly as the police, only without the experience! They further damage victims and could damage their case against the abuser by telling the abuser every detail of the allegation against him. That's a Dream for a defense attorney to know way in advance how to go at the little victims in court.

  Victims should not even waste their time going to the elders IMO they should go to the police and make a report once the district attorney decides to take it to trial it's a open record. Time for the family to warn everyone in the congregation and neighboring KH's because the creep most likely has moved on to another hall while he awaits trial. When the DA clears it then go to the elders, they most likely will already know but only give then the simple facts and never allow them to question your child..that should be left to the trained professionals.

  Please learn from my mistakes...
• 

  KW13

  Wrong Way.

  Are you a witness in good standing?

  Do you believe the Society is God's organization, and do you agree with all its present teachings?
• 

  elderelite

  KW, hows the wife?
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  KW13

  She's alright, still gone to work tonight! We are expecting to hear from the hospital in the next two weeks, with an appointment for her. After that we'll know whether its serious or not. Thanks for asking mate, means a lot to us both.
• 

  cantleave

  Titus, I really enjoy chatting to you and consider you a friend that I haven't met yet. You see many of the inconsistencies and hypocrisy of the organisation. So I don't understand how you can't see that the watchtower is harmful to children.

  It makes them social outcasts at school. It takes away the joy childhood. By making their parents take them meeting late at night it ruins their bedtime routine. If the organisation really treated children as an inheritance from jehovah, why does it treat them so shabbily? Why do so many JW parents violently abuse their children, at the hall, with the elders blessing, just for being children? Why does the organisation not allow them to celebrate birthdays? or participate in school activities? Why does it try to control tethem by fear and superstition? None of this truly based on scripture, but man made rules. These are the reasons my children will never step into KH again. But these are minor things in comparison to abuse.

  The policies in place to deal with child abusive are there to protect the organisation, when this evil crime occurs. Please Titus don't ever believe the policies are there to protect the victim.

  In the UK the victim and the victim's parents are given the option to report the crime to the authorities, but that is because the law requires this. . But they way this option is positioned will make the victim and and parents seem disloyal to Jehovah if they did so.

  If the authorities are not notified the elders will deal with the issue. I do not know a single elder who is qualified to do so. They can not provide the counselling. They can not provide proper support. They are just window cleaners and builders (or in my case a pretty crap chemist turned salesman!).

  The two witness rule means that the perpetrator of the crime more often than not gets away with it and stays in the congregation, often becoming an instrument of intimidation to the victim and the victim's families.

  If the victim's families try to warn others they are being "Slanderers and Smiters with words". They will be put before a JC for trying to warn others.

  Titus, this is the truth, you may not have seen it, but I have and so others here including victims.

  Lady Lee has been through the process, don't disprespect her and others here because you have not experienced this most pernicious aspect of the organisation.
• 

  TheTruthAboutTheTruth

  Wrong way/Titus the wts policy on protecting children is CRAP

  My son told the po in my congregation what was happening to him months before i found out...what did he do?NOTHING he done his own little investigations,never reported it to the police,or even me!!

  He will be in court soon to pay for what he did!!
• 

  Simon

  Titus / Wrong Way - the insults are why your account has been deleted.
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  Violia

  TMI and troll is gone.
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  OUTLAW

  BTT for Lady Lee..

  If you can help Lady Lee out on this Thread..

  Lady Lee- who are you, and what's YOUR story? 2 3 4 5 6 ... 17 18

  It would be of benifit to many people..Thanks..

  ..................... ...OUTLAW
• 

  Lady Lee

  An accusation was made about me earlier and I can now address it. Not because I feel I have to but because I want to.

  We lived in an organization that gave no allowance for wives to leave abusive husbands. We were told that if we did not render the marital due and if committed adultery we would be blood-guilty.

  I was suicidal at the time. Planning on dying but not really wanting to be dead. I felt like crap due to the childhood abuse and was reminded frequently that I "stole" her 42 yr old boyfriend from her and wanted him to have sex with me - when I was 12. I diudn't need more guilt piled on top of me.

  My husband, who was an elder at the time, had a job where he frequently saw women basking around their swimming pools in bikinis. He would come home and demand sex so he could get rid of all those nasty thoughts of having sex with them. He would also demand sexual things that due to the childhood incest I was not comfortable with and happily for me the WTS forbid. He still demanded it and we fought often about it.

  If I was going to live and leave my husband I didn't want to carry his guilt if he had sex without a scriptural divorce.

  So I decided if I was going to carry any guilt it would be my own. I went with a man I knew - NOT a JW - and we had sex. It turned into a bad scene and when I asked him to stop he didn't and it turned into a rape. I did not tell anyone right away.

  My husband and I decided to separate and he moved out. One day he came over demanding to be let in because he wanted sex and I had an obligation to provide the marital due. I knew it would be like this. I knew walking away would not be easy and his demands would continue. One more reason to have the grounds so he could get his spiritual divorce, remarry and leave me alone.

  It was after this that I finally told him and the elders about hte sex.

  He knew I was going to tell about his sexual demands and abuse of me and stepped down as elder right before we went to the elders.

  They shrugged off his 15 years of abuse. My one time sexual encounter got me disfellowshipped. I got my divorce. He got his freedom and within 2 years married again.

  After 10 years he walked into his house one day to find his new wife in bed with another man. I guess she figured that was the only way to be rid of him too.

  He is still a Witness in good standing. He married terrible women - loose women - what's the new word they are using - brazen.

  So you read the accusation.

  Now you read the facts.