by losthusband 23 Replies latest jw friends
LOL Mary, please stop, you are crackin me up this morning...
It basicallly seems to be the same ol thing recylced over and over again.
New light mixed with old light...confusing stuff.
And have you guys noticed how every assembly is good...is there ever a bad assembly...EVER??
Great way to shut people up after the A$$embly was:
"Oh! Wasnt the counsel timely! The congregations just needed it so much. It was UNBELIEVABLE.
What did you find particularly new and upbuilding??"
HB
Hi
Just got back from the above assembly.........
Here is my take on my first and last assembly
9:40 Song and Prayer - Half the people were still in the toilet...and no one was singing, I didn't have a song book (I am worldy you see!!) so I just stood and stared at the odd looking fella on the stage miming, rather than singing!
9:50 Why Do We Need a Refuge?
Because Satan is going to get you.
He is going to attack anyway he can.......beware!!!
Also be aware of "worldly experts" spouting on about things like evolution........
Quote " There are 2 types of worldly experts.....those that don't know what they are talking about and those that don't realise that they don't know what they are talking about"........I considered walking out here....what an arrogant, stupid thing to say!! I can't believe everyone chuckled at that!!
A few people sat on the stage and were asked how jehovah had provided them with refuge......Quite funny as everyone was reading from a script.......all of them had been "OVERWHELMED" by some disaster but jehovah had provided refuge!!
10:30 Help Others Find Refuge Under Jehovah's Wings
Basically talk went along the lines of just like the only people who survived the Tsunami a few years ago took to the high ground and they were helped there by a biologist who recognised the warning signs...., therefore the only people who can save the world are JWs as they have special knowledge..........
Then did a little play were everyone was encouraged to use the Watchtower PC Library to help bible studies understand better. It seemed like .... if someone asks you a tough question use the Computer and get them to read an old watchtower on the PC........Oh and if that fails then they have to prey harder that they will understand next time????
10:55 Song 68 and Announcements - Elders meeting at Lunch......exciting!
11:05 Imitate Jehovah in Providing Refuge
The most boring talk ever about why you should provide refuge to your children in these "terrible end times"...... Quote " the earlier you show them the right way to live (Study, read the scriptures, go to meetings and go on the ministry etc etc) the better and more righteous person they will be!! I recieved a dig to the ribs from my wife when I laughed out loud at that point!!
11:35 Dedication and Baptism - Only one person baptised !! She was told that she must be good after baptism.....or else!!!
12:05 Song 7
Unfortunately I'd had enough at this point and went to the pub to watch Man City Vs Chelsea!! ---- I'm in the UK by the way!!
1:30 Song 23
1:35 Experiences
1:45 Watchtower Summary
2:15 Young People, Make Jehovah Your Confidence!
2:30 Is Your Home a Haven of Delight?
2:45 Song 69 and Announcements
2:55 Our Spiritual Paradise - Jehovah's Provision for Refuge
3:55 Song 121 and Prayer
Spoke to my wife after the meeting and even she said that she had fell asleep for most of the afternoon!!
WHY DO THEY BOTHER WITH THESE AT ALL !!!!!
Let's approach the Topic in Watchtowerese:
"We do well to ask ourselves: Just WHAT makes one assembly more 'speciial' than the others? Do not we benefit more fully from the banquet of rich spiritual food provided by the Faithful & Discreet Slave Class?"
Yeccch! Coffee gone sour!
