Upcoming Special Assembly - Take Refuge in Jehovah

by losthusband 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    The Botchtower Summary this Saturday will be all about how the "Holy Spirit" is using the "Governing Body" to teach truthz to all the sheeplz... until the truthz get revised because they were all false prophecy... but that's okay because they don't claim to be prophets... yet they expect the sheeplz to unquestioningly treat them like prophets.

  • Married to the Mob
    Married to the Mob

    My Wife and MIL went to this however I have the impress their timetable looked more like below!

    9:40 Song and Prayer
    9:50 Wife struggling to stay awake
    10:30 MIL uncomfortable from the seating
    10:55 Wife popping candy to stay awake and thinking of all the chores that need to be done
    11:05 MIL is feeling tired
    11:35 Wife and MIL have left the building
    12:05 Pavarotti on the car stereo
    1:30 Home

    Whilst they were getting their spritual food at the right time

    My timetable looked more like this:

    9:40 Let Dogs Out
    9:50 Let Dogs in and settle on sofa with breakfast and coffee to watch the football

    10:30 Check evony and send out another wave of attackers on the red flag near me, returning to sofa
    10:55 Answer door to find two witnesses there grinning and asking after the MIL and if they can come in? Mean while one of the dogs is barking like crazy and dispite multiple request for them to close the storm door they don't and can't seem to understand why I am being short with them. Explain that MIl is not there and gone to the assembly and no they are not comming in. This seems to bother them. Explain I am sleeping off my jet lag and MIL is not there. Witness then tries to start conversation on how MIL is? Explain MIL is fine and ask if there was any message? Witness gives over KM sheet. Take magazine, say goodbye and shut door. Leave magazine on chair and dog sniffs paper before shaking head and making sure the intruders leave her territory.
    11:05 Return to sofa mumbling something about "don't they know there is a match on" and some other more apt explitives
    11:35 Check evony again and head for shower
    12:05 Head back to sofa to watch Battle of Britain movie
    1:30 MIl and Wife arrive home

    Give MIL slightly damp from dog slobber KM sheet!

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    Typical of these things. First, they create a problem where none existed--the world is an evil place. Then, you need a "solution", which "happens" to be Jehovah. That creates the need for refuge, and you are supposed to help others find refuge in the same place. That is a thinly disguised title for doing ever more field circus--of course, using the same outdated systems that are just not working these days.

    Then, after a round of dying cats singing, you are supposed to imitate Jehovah in providing refuge. This, too, is a thinly disguised talk about doing more to get people into the cancer, while pretending to be happy with the organization. No mention will be made that the organization is in fact a refuge--for pedophiles seeking to ruin other children's lives!

    In the afternoon, after yet another round of dying cats singing, you get the admonition that young people (read: Children) are supposed to remain faithful to this organization. Your home is supposed to also provide refuge for your family to remain in the cancer. The last talk, after another round of dying cats singing and their mandatory $3,000 deficit, is a blatant fear talk intended to frighten people into staying in the cancer until they waste their whole lives doing something that accomplishes precisely nothing worthwhile.

  • cameo-d
    cameo-d

    losthusband: "
    10:30 Help Others Find Refuge Under Jehovah's Wings"

    Jehovah is bird-like? Since when has Jehovah had wings? I thought he always sat on the throne and sent his angel messengers who had wings...like Hermes. Is Jehovah the Owl?

    Old proverb: He who sits under birds wings gets crapped on.

  • ziddina
    ziddina
    "Jehovah is bird-like? Since when has Jehovah had wings? I thought he always sat on the throne and sent his angel messengers who had wings...like Hermes. Is Jehovah the Owl? ..."

    Methinks the Israelites picked up attributes of Horus the Falcon - combined with Ra the Sun God, who had royal divinity wings of the vulture - like Isis...

    Hey, most of the bible is plagiarized from older Polytheist religions, anyway...

    Zid

  • dozy
    dozy

    One of the recent KMs (July/Aug?) had an article about the SAD - usual stuff , very much ministry oriented. I would guess that the 2:55 talk is about obeying the Org.

    Is Your Home a Haven of Delight? I'll have to check my title deeds on that one. Seriously - who writes this stuff?

  • fokyc
    fokyc

    'Take Refuge in Jehovah' is a regular 5 yearly regurgitation of the same old crap.

    Watchtower 2005

    Because the Greek soldiers at Marathon closed ranks and held on to their shields with all their might, they won despite overwhelming odds. Likewise, Jehovah’s loyal Witnesses are assured of complete victory in their spiritual warfare, for that is their “hereditary possession.” (Isaiah 54:17) Hence, let each of us continue to take refuge in Jehovah by maintaining “a tight grip on the word of life.”—Philippians 2:16.

    Watchtower 2001

    The phrase “I shall protect him” is literally, “I shall place him on high,” that is, out of reach. We take refuge in Jehovah as his worshipers especially because ‘we have set our affection on him.’ (Mark 12:29, 30; 1 John 4:19) In turn, God ‘provides us with escape’ from our enemies. Never will we be wiped off the earth. Rather, we will be saved because we know the divine name and call upon it in faith. (Romans 10:11-13) And we are determined to ‘walk in Jehovah’s name forever.’—Micah 4:5; Isaiah 43:10-12 .

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420

    Did you ever come to the right place..our very own Heaven came up with the cool game to play at the assembly.

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/174621/1/Fun-Stuff-Wank-Word-Bingo-JW-Style

    your welcome

    lisa

  • DaCheech
    DaCheech

    when's the big "a" happening?

    if they're gonna tell me, I'll attend

  • Mary
    Mary
    when's the big "a" happening?

    "soooooooon"

    "it's right around the corner!"

    "we're living deeeeep, deeeeeeeep in the Time of the End!"

    Now get your ass back to the Meetings, chop! chop!

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